Are You Leading Him On If You’re Not Turned On?

by Cherry Norris on February 25, 2014

Let's say you meet a nice man.

He takes you out and shows you a nice time.

And now he's asking to see you again.

Trouble is, you're not sure if you're romantically interested.

You don't want to hurt him, but you don't want to lead him on.

Do you give him another chance or not?

Today's video gives you a fun, fail-proof tip on what to do when a nice man continues to ask you out and you question the chemistry.

Before prematurely passing up a "nice" opportunity, you must watch this now!

Enjoy and in the comments section below, tell me what you do when a nice man is interested and keeps asking you out.

Love,

Cherry

P.S.  It's nice to have a man ask you out.  Watch here now to see how to stay true to yourself and continue to have fun without leading him on!

 

{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Ninah August 24, 2012 at 11:25 am

Hi Cherry,
I did have a nice man ask me out, and I went out with him two times.  Everything seemed to go for us, except his hands were all over me.  I asked him to stop and he asked if I was frigid or had problems with relationships.  I told him that I would feel more comfortable if he respected me and got to know me first.  Date two wasn't much better.  So, I told him that I just didn't feel that I could give him what he wanted.
Here I am in my 60's and it seems that most of the men I'm dating want me in the sack before they get to know me?  Is this an age thing?  I've never had to fend off men before in my life like I do now.  My girlfriends say that I look more stunning now than I did when I was younger.  Do most women who are stunning have to go through this?  What happens to respect when you look good? 
Frustrated in Syracuse!
 
 

Reply

redy August 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm

haha that happens to me too, but relax its not ur problem is theirs !! u will find a man respecfull enough once to let all those losers get lost, I cant stand men touching me prematurely also and a lot of women allow it because of fear of being alone, but sooner or later it backfires to them as it is demeaning…

Reply

Ninah August 31, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Thanks redy,
I needed to hear that.  I was beginning to think that respectful men didn't exist.  Your reminder is timely.  

Reply

Vanessa August 24, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Great tip. But I have a question if after 3rd date you don’t feel it how or what do you tell him that you are not interested in a nice way .

Thanks

Reply

Cherry Norris August 24, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Hi Vanessa,
Here’s how you tell a man you’re not romantically interested after the third date: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vaJxzAvQnQ
Enjoy!
Love, Cherry

Reply

Lorna Lea August 24, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Hi,
I met a guy on Match and we've gone out 2x now. I can tell he is interested but I'm not sure yet. I've been looking at his qualities and they're what I want. However, I don't feel chemistry yet. I can see he is waiting on me to suggest a third date. I've not done so yet in fear of leading him on. But I'd like to test it out for a few more to see if things changes for me. Is that ok??? Most times I find myself attracted to the players…he is not one!
 
Thanks, Lorna
 

Reply

Cherry Norris August 24, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Yes, Lorna Lee! Go for it :)
Love, Cherry

Reply

Newcomer August 24, 2012 at 4:12 pm

My thoughts are if he seems like a good man keep dating him.  If the reasons you don't want to date him is you sense he's selfish, just trying to get you in the sack or disrespectful then your instincts are right on the money to stop seeing him.  
It doesn't do any woman any good to keep being in a situation where a guy is not a good guy!
 
Thanks Cherry

Reply

Carol February 28, 2014 at 2:13 pm

I totally agree. Some guys are selfish, cheap, demanding and controlling right from the first date, no point prolonging it, they won't change. They are not even self-aware enough to know something is wrong with THEM.

Reply

A August 24, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Hi Cherry,
No one else asks me out at this moment.  He is not seeing other woman. We have been dating for about 5 month.  It progresses very slow.  He usually asks me out once a week when he is available.  I have a good time when we are together.  He is respectful to me.  We are not sleeping together.  I do not feel that he is the perfect one for me.  Should break up with him or should I continue to see him to practice dating? 
Ang
 

Reply

Nikki August 25, 2012 at 3:36 am

Wow! Is this timely!  I met a man just about three weeks ago thru a matchmaker. If I listed everything about him he would seem wonderful but….I don't like his voice! It's been 2 dates and a bouquet of roses, he's ask me out for a third date, and I've agreed to go, reluctantly.  I must admit I don't really think the third times going to be the charm….
i realy appreciate what you reminded me to do tho!  I was seriously going to bolt before the third one.

Reply

jackie August 25, 2012 at 3:55 am

hi Cherry,
this is an amazing site. well, i was head over heels over a guy whos actually in the other side of the world, pursuing his phd n dreams. somehow or rather, we arent able to sustain this i.dont know how u call friendship, relationship? there lies a lot of uncertainty and im tired. then here comes two other men in my life. one isintellectually stimulating whom i love especially clever men who can impress me. the otjer is physically stimulating whom i feel comfy out with him. still, mental intellectual communications to me plays a more impt part. shld i continue to date both n decide thereafter? guy 2 is more aggressive though he might not b the clever type whom i can build chemistry with….i dont wana lead either man the wrong way as of course im still deciding rationally more than emotionally. mental, intellects are smething we cant chge n im clearly aware of that…..

Reply

lori August 25, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Just wanted to say "thank you", the topics you pick are always right on the money, issues that I experience, but don't really find answers that make sense in other places, thanks again!!

Reply

Elyse February 28, 2014 at 12:59 pm

Haci Cherry,
What if you're turned off by him physically on the first date?  I met a man through the internet a few weeks ago who upon meeting had the huggest stomach, smoked and had yellow, yellow teeth.  What if someone says something which is a real turnoff wthich gives you a clue about his character, or how he treats women on the first date?  Do you still consider to go out again to test if chemisty is going to show up miraculously?

Reply

Cherry Norris February 28, 2014 at 5:51 pm

Hi Elyse,
This man sounds like your typical “duty date.” If he’s that gross, I wouldn’t put him in the “nice man” category. You’re certainly not obliged to go out again with men who make your skin crawl. But if he’s nice or just a bit boring, give him another shot. Two more if possible. Then if the chemistry isn’t there, tell him what a great guy he is and how much you appreciate getting to know him. Then be honest and tell him that unfortunately you’re not feeling the romantic chemistry that tells you you’re a long term match.
Got it? Good!
Love,
Cherry

Reply

Ava February 28, 2014 at 2:01 pm

I think there's a difference between feeling neutral about a man, and being physically turned off. It isn't necessary to go out on 2 more dates with someone whom you find physically unappealing. I think some basic physical attraction needs to be there, and the reasons you list for not being attracted aren't trivial. And it goes without saying that anyone who treats you poorly on the date shouldn't get a second chance.

Reply

anita February 28, 2014 at 2:16 pm

How to implement the 3 date plan without leaving him angry in the end?  You don't want him to use you and he doesn't want to be used either, right?  Women feel used when men try to push the physical too early on.  Men feel used and led on when they "amp it up" on the second and third dates by planning more extravagant outings.  A woman can avoid this without being controlling by suggesting "keep it simple" dates.  Let him know that you, like all women, enjoy being lavished…. eventually.  Lavishing leads to ravishing.  

Reply

Ziji February 28, 2014 at 2:24 pm

Well, Cherry and ladies, I'm not dating anyone yet, but I sure am getting a good education in advance!  Thanks for all the sharing here on this site.

Reply

Lox March 4, 2014 at 6:13 am

Thanks, Cherry!  Your advice is great.  I've been following all your tips and I finally got the chance to put them in to action.  Guess what?  It was a disaster!  Not because of anything you taught me.  I showed up to my blind date, ready to be my girly, wonderful self, and the guy spent the first 45 minutes telling me about his ex.  He mentioned her all night long.  I know what she likes, dislikes, etc.  He would also change his opinions to agree with me.  He told he he didn't like sushi, and when I said I did, he told me he did, too.  He was terrified to disagree with me.  To top it all off, his mom called him to check up on him, and he answered at the table!!  He kept asking me when I was going to call him. I felt like I was the guy!  And not because I showed up trying to be a strong woman, but because he was acting like a girl. It was kind of funny.  I got to see the things you've been talking about from a different perspective.  He did all the goofy stuff women do that freak guys out.  It was a good lesson.
I can't wait until I get a date with a "man" and can try this again.  At least I know what not to do. 
 

Reply

Cherry Norris March 4, 2014 at 6:37 pm

Love it, Lox! Bravo!! ;)

Reply

Ms. Xochi April 15, 2014 at 8:55 pm

Cherry,
I am actually in this situation right now! I've said no a million times! It's good to know how "Feminine" women "hear" the chemistry. I am leading towards he is not the one, he has 2 little girls and babymamadrama. I fear I'll get attached to his kids and I've never dated men with children before. I'm going to look through the rest of your articles/videos. THANK YOU! 

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: