Can You Fall In Love Without Meeting Him?

by Cherry Norris on March 16, 2016

When you're single and searching, you look many places.

So naturally, you look on line.  I mean, why not?

There are plenty of men to choose from.

It's a great place to learn and hone your skills,

And you can actually meet a man you really like!

But can you fall in love without meeting him first?

Today's video gives you a fun, fail-proof tip on how to know if it's REAL LOVE or NOT.

When you chat back and forth with a man you like, you can form a deep connection.  You share many things.

Can you really be in love if you haven't met each other yet?  Watch here now to see!

Enjoy and leave a comment below telling me how often you write a man on-line before meeting him in person.

Have a great week!

Love, 

Cherry

{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

Kathryn March 1, 2017 at 7:44 am

Personally, the ONLY way I will ever consider online dating again is if it is through an obviously spirituality-oriented website, or if it's through the fitness site I'm on. Otherwise, forget it. I've had way too many heartbreaking experiences with other sites in previous years. And one of my more recent online experiences was just within this last year, where a guy who said he was some sort of contractor with some cell phone company tried chatting me up. He asked me for a pic, then after a bit of conversation one night, he subsequently began "Facebook-stalking" me (which is where he was chatting me up in the first place!), and wanted to chat all the time, when all I was there for was chatting to my family and REAL friends! This after friending me several months earlier and not actually chatting to me!

This set my inner alarm bells off real quick, and I told one of my longtime friends. She said I was just scared of having a relationship at all, but I knew that's not what the problem was. The guy was acting desperate as anything, claiming he was lonely, wanting a wife, etc. And when I went to his FB wall, he didn't have a whole lot on there about himself, just a few pics.

Let's just say after about a week of this crap, I shut him down, but good! I blocked his @$$ and thankfully, I haven't heard from him since.

 

 

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Tammy July 23, 2016 at 9:13 pm

I met and became friends quickly with a co-worker from an online site (I live in Canada, him in US). Neither of us were looking for romance or anything of the sort.  

Within a couple of months we talked daily, shared our own stories added eachother on facebook and other social media sites.  At the time I was going through a very bad relationship – and it was him who helped build me up and give me the courage to better my life, get back into school and go from there. (For those who say "you should have spent that energy into my current relationship" – I spent 4 years trying to… he was an alcoholic and very abusive – and had made me feel so low, prevented me from going out with friends, I had just "settled" and accepted the abuse. I learned to make friends online because I wasn't able to go out to unwind).

At the same time my "friend" was dealing with his own problems, and I was there to help him as well.   

Finally on my own, and a year down the line, we realize we spend hours on skype call daily.  We have gotten to know eachother and have a stronger bond together than either of us have ever known in our previous relationships (we are both in our mid-30's, not some young teens here – we've both experienced relationships – I have children – whom he adores, and they adore him – my oldest son talks to him and asks for advice, because he doesn't rely on his own father).

We considered eachother best friends – but there was something more that we were both too scared to commit to for a long time.  Both of us had opportunities to date on our own ends, but we felt no need or even any desire to.  We have the companionship we want from eachother.  We've seen the best and the worst of eachother over the time we've known eachother (both physically and mentally) – over skype.

  Our families are now good friends, and regardless to how much we had denied we were a couple, our families and friends knew otherwise. I have been told by numerous couple-friends that they admired our strength and bond – and asked us both for relationship advice. 

After discussing ideas of the future – we realized there was a very strong love between us.   I have been in two long term relationships and never been able to communicate as openly or freely with either of them. I don't have to pretend to be someone I am not, I can be myself – and he can be his own self.  Other than the physical aspect (2,000+ miles apart) we have a very strong relationship.   

We will finally be meeting this year – his family as excited as he is about my going down to visit.    He will come visit me a couple of months after.   We've discussed marriage – and will decide after our visits on where we see ourselves.

So, do you not think this is love?

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John May 17, 2016 at 10:43 pm

Hello Cherry What confuses me is that online many ladies are writing that they love me after communication with me on Skype and other apps or even just seeing my pictures and my profile.Which I update often on dating web sites. I cannot fall in love with someone online.I have feelings for some these ladies but love no. Me I must meet a lady to fall in love. Regards John

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Cristina Lambert March 20, 2016 at 11:50 pm

I met a man onloine who lived in LA. Actually, he claimed he didn't contact me, as I'm in NJ, but I received a "flirt" from him. We read each other's profiles and found out we had so much in common, it was uncanny. We corresponded every day. at times more than once a day, and I always looked forward to his messages, and a few phone calls. He'd promised he'd come east in the fall (2014), but when he said he wouldn't be able to for various reasons, I decided to fly to LA right after Christmas instead. Of course I asked him first, assured him I wouldn't be moving in with him, but just wanted to know whether what we had was real or just a fantasy. He thought it was "a great idea," and I booked my flight and hotel. However, I contracted viral pneumonia in early December and had to postpone the trip until mid February. He'd write to me using terms of endearment in several languages we both speak, and he always signed it, "tu (your) Jeremy." I noticed after a while he didn't contact me as often as in the beginning, and he didn't even call when I got sick, although he did send me a video of himself (he's a comedian) in an episode of "Mork & Mindy" with Robin Williams, which I found very silly (I didn't tell him that). I became curious and checked whether he was still on the dating site, and he was. He'd also dyed his hair dark to appear younger (he's actually 84 right now), and I commented that I'd loved his full head of beautiful gray hair, which made him look so distinguished, but his reply was he didn't want to be "extinguished."

By this time I was having some second tnoughts because of the age difference (I'm 75, but look much younger and prefer younger men) and the fact we lived a continent apart, as he put it, although I was ready to move to California if things worked out betwen us. He even "made love" to me on the phone, which made me feel a little uncomfortable, as we hadn't met in person yet.

He was an hour late picking me up at the airport, and when we finally met in person, he didn't hug me or tell me he was happy to finally meet. He drove me to the hotel, and said he'd pick me up later for dinner. We saw each other every day, except one when I was with my former sister-in-law, but he even called to ask how it went; We went out to dinner, even saw a play and a movie together, and we got along well, but he always kept his distance from me, as if he were somehow repelled by me.

He invited me to his place so we could watch the Oscars together, but before I got there he called and said he hoped I didn't have any expectations, and had only gone to LA to get away from the cold on the east coast. He then told me he'd been involved with a woman, things had "petered out," but they were back together. I thanked him for his honesty, but felt devastated. When I got to his place I asked him about his relationship with this woman, but he refused to discuss it, saying I was "overanalyzing it." But what did he tell her when he was with me very evening, including the weekend? He didn't tell her anything, she was away, they'd only spoken on the phone. Later I realized, and this was confirrmed by two psychic mediums, that it'd all been a fantasy, there was no woman in his life, and he'd used that excuse in case I expected him to make some romantic moves on me. Actually, once we met in person I wasn't really attracted to him, as I found him too old. Yet we had so many interests in common, including caring about the correct usage of grammar and spelling in English.

When I came home I wrote thanking him for his hospitality, as he'd been "the perfect host," but he seemed to have a double personality. He again refused to explain, until finally, after he told me he was in NY and had no time to reply to all his e-mails, he did finally tell me he'd been originally been attracted to my persona, my knowledge of several languages, and the photos I'd sent him, but he wouldn't have recognized me from them if I hadn't been the only person there. This was again a lie, because I was standing outside waiting for him and getting some fresh air, when I saw him limping toward the bagggage carousel and called out his name. He'd loved the pics and said I was a "knockout and an angel." I showed several people, both men and women, the photos, which I'd asked him to return to me, and they all said they'd still reognize me after many years. In fact, I'd contacted a former high school classmate whom I hadn't seen in over 50 years (she'd moved to California a long time ago), and when she saw me she said I still looked the same.

So that my "love story" with Jeremy, with whom I had more in common than my former (now deceased) husband. Other men who contacted me online were either uneducated (had only finished high school), could barely write or express themselves, or lived in other parts of the country. I finally gave up trying to meet men online, as it'd been a very dsappointing experience. It's also harder to meet quality men at my age, although men much younger, even than my son, who's 40, have contacted me, but I just ignored them. 

I've met men at singles dances or parties, usually much younger, but who assume I'm their age, and they come on really strong, wanting to jump into bed. That's not my thing.   

 

 

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Clare March 20, 2016 at 12:03 pm

Personally I have had overwhelmingly positive experiences with online dating. I think it is worth it to live in a place where there is a larger pool of eligible men to choose from. I find that in the city I live in, it very much favours single women, as there seems to be a higher proportion of eligible single men here. This probably does make it easier but I must say I never usually battle guiding a guy to meeting in person. If they are reluctant to do so then I do not waste time on them. I don't think you need to pussyfoot around the issue. I usually say something like, "I am not a fan of endlessly texting or emailing, I think the best way to get to know each other is in person, and I let them take it from there."

 

I also don't give out my phone number until there is a confirmed plan to meet.

 

I have corresponded with a few guys online who just gave me a funny feeling in my gut. They usually had just one picture on their profile and very little information about themselves. They also took down their profiles shortly after getting my personal email address and came on really "intense" in the beginning. They'd make all kinds of declarations and ask me all kinds of personal questions or seem possessive, which felt really premature. And it never transpired into meeting them in person. To this day I'm not sure whether they were scammers or not but they had that "feeling" like they were not totally legitimate.

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Camille March 20, 2016 at 12:43 am

Hi Cherry,

That's good advice. I am going to remember that just in case I decide to start online dating.

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Joana March 19, 2016 at 8:16 pm

Hello Cherry, what a great topic! How can we make men get into the real world and ask us out, instead of having intimate conversations online without ever meeting in person? Can we hint that we want to go out on a real date? Thank you!

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Clare March 23, 2016 at 12:03 pm

Joana,

 

I have found it very easy to guide a man into meeting in person, you just have to not worry about his response, or "hint" or worry about offending him if you are direct. After all, your time is precious and you do not want to waste it emailing and texting when what you want is an in-flesh meeting and relationship.

 

So I usually say something like, "I am not a fan of endlessly texting/emailing. I think the only way to get to know someone is in person" and 90% of guys will take it from there. I find the key is to be direct, not pushy.

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Joana April 24, 2016 at 4:01 pm

Thank you or your advice, Clare 🙂

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Debbie March 18, 2016 at 8:01 pm

I do a lot of internet dating sites.  I'm older so it takes longer to meet that guy so far.   Here is my rule.   I like to email within the site a few times not excessively.  Talk on the phone and then hopefully guide the guy into meeting me.  It should be within the two weeks of first connecting, no longer in my book.  Sometimes people have conflicting schedules or already planned something in advance.  So that is the two week, however, I prefer in the week if possible.   If he doesn't want to meet then something is wrong.  After all isn't that why your on a dating site — to date.

Thanks,  Debbie

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Denise March 18, 2016 at 6:05 pm

Love it… Love listening to your videos. Fun and Enlightning !

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Alison March 18, 2016 at 5:11 pm

Hi Cherry,

I met a man online about 2.5 weeks ago now and we have been in constant contact each and every day of the week.  What began as a casual "Hi How are you?" type of chat has blossomed into much more.  He is currently in Syria with Doctors Without Borders and will be there until the first part of June.  At first that raised the red flags for me due to the fact that I have been scammed in the past by online men who claimed to be out of the country but as time passed I have become more comfortable with him.  Do I love him?  I have deeper than normal feelings for him and wish for nothing but his safety at this point…but am I in love with him?  I don't that will happen before we meet in June but it's nice to talk with him now.  We will be moving up to video chatting soon once he gets on a computer where the government won't frown on that behaviour. 🙂

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Alison March 18, 2016 at 5:14 pm

Oops…typo time….

I don't think that will happen before we meet in June but it's nice to talk with him now.

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Jennifer March 19, 2016 at 4:36 am

Please, please be careful with any stories like this one. I am 41, have been online since I was 18, have had many experiences with online dating and men. I don't want to discourage you, but you know yourself how scammers work and if there's a red flag, listen to your GUT. ALWAYS protect your heart and yourself before you meet…that's the best advice I can give to anyone. I tend to like foreign men and they like me, so have lots of stories I could share but here is one: For 6 months I chatted and shared and had a nice time with a man overseas. He was from a country I wasn't sure about visiting, but lived in a country I would gladly go to. There were some red flags about him that I didn't pay closer attention to (like 'pushing me' to do things I didn't want to…this is small, but for instance, going on cam when I didn't want to yet -I'm shy about that until I know someone better, or his impatience with me), there are things to pay attention to. However, most of the time we were 'in love' and enjoying each other's company. It got to the point we couldn't stand to be apart and I made plans to go see him. Long story short, we met and things were ok, but not wonderful like online. There was a huge language barrier (we used Google online), and he wasn't the affectionate man in person like he was online. No hugging, a little kissing. Boy did my eyes get opened on that trip! I won't go into everything, but I felt like I was in hell…rented a house in the countryside and I was basically slaving away every day. There was nothing to do, the internet we were supposed to have didn't work, no tv (at the time I thought it was a nice idea…we could talk more!), so mostly we spent time listening to music and TRYING to communicate, then cooking and cleaning. I didn't realize when we went to get groceries that the beer he bought was going to be a problem, but it was. We were arguing or not understanding each other and frustrated and so he thought drinking was a good idea…one night he was talking to me and wanted me to listen and I was, but had to go to the bathroom so I got up to go and he didn't want me leaving…I told him ok I will go right here on the couch and he just was telling me to wait. I'd had enough so I got up and headed toward the bathroom (in the bedroom) and he followed me and blocked the way. I tried to calm him down and I did get on the other side of him closer to the bathroom but he still had his hands on each wall and he punched the wall. THAT scared me and I ran into the bathroom and locked the door before he could get to me. I stayed in there and talked to my mom back home for an hour before I came out. (Luckily he didn't try to break the door down or anything.) We didn't talk the rest of the night and I didn't even see him really (house had like 4 bedrooms, 2 upstairs and I was in downstairs one). I was awakened in the early morning to him calling for me. He was in the upstairs bathroom puking. Eventually he came down and continued to get sick all morning in *my* bathroom. After the 3rd time I cleaned it, I said ok, enough, you're cleaning it now, I am DONE. I went to sleep and woke up later, he was gone, bathroom cleaned. He left me all day and did it a few other times in the 2 weeks I was there. I'm telling this story because I want women to be aware…I don't trust so easily anymore. But here is the sad part, I didn't know it at the time but my mom was dying while I was away…I am grateful for what I went through overseas because when I got home I was so glad to be back, I wanted to kiss the ground! But it made me strong enough to deal with my mom's sickness and 3 months later, her death. I believe everything happens for a reason, and even though it was a horrible experience (I didn't share everything either), I learned and grew (and shrunk as I lost 13 pounds – I'm a large lady haha – in those 2 weeks). One more short nugget I will share… another online boyfriend met me here in the US and spent time with me, things were great, and 3 months later I flew to him and oh boy was he different on HIS home turf. Not as sweet, caring, and kind when in his own home. So there's lots to think about when you get involved with someone internationally. For you specifically, Alison, I say pay attention to this guy. IF he is American, does he speak English well? (Particularly does he speak American or British? You will know by his spelling and certain words at times.) Does he know things an American would know? Have you seen him on cam ever, or heard his voice? Does he have an accent? I've had to be very cautious online…I don't trust anyone…was almost scammed out of money once. LADIES, PLEASE, check out romancescam DOT com and inform yourself, learn, prepare, knowledge is power! Too much to post about so will leave you with that. God bless each one, don't swear off online dating, just be smart, HAVE FUN, and as my mom always used to tell me, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket"! 😉  Oh and Cherry, you are awesome, thanks for your fun and informative videos!

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Shanna January 2, 2016 at 1:12 pm

I recently met a man online. We immediately took to emailing each other. We started out telling each other a little family history, what we did for a living, our likes and dislikes, and then we moved on to our past relationships (we are both divorced) and what we are looking for in a relationship. His job took him several states away for about six weeks, and we will not be able to meet until he returns. He has confessed his love for me. Is it possible he could really love me without meeting me. I have been extremely open with him and have sent him photos. I think I am falling in love with him, but am afraid he won't feel the same after meeting me.

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Nathalie July 11, 2015 at 2:06 am

Dear Cherry,

I have been talking on phone and texting this man for 3 weeks now.  He claims that he is on contract assignment in China and is negotiating a new contract in Malaysia. He is an Engineer and travels a lot.  I really like him and find him to be spiritual, kind, sweet and very intelligent.  He has great conversation and his a real pleasure to talk to.  He has made is clear that he is looking for a wife.  I have never been in love before and really want to do the right thing.  He will be traveling to the states soon to meet me.  Any advice?  How can I be sure that he is for real?

Thank you

Nathalie

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Samantha June 29, 2014 at 8:18 am

This was hilarious… love these videos!

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Carol June 29, 2014 at 12:56 am

I have written men for a while and when I mentioned about being a real relationship and meeting, they fade away.  The most recent on I decided I would go for about a week of writing and he was getting very interested and I then I asked him what and when he thought meeting would be possible.  He said next week and asked for my phone number to call me. I haven't heaard from him since.  This seems to be a pattern.  They are also foreign born and younger so not exactly sure what is going on or if they actually live in the US even though they say the do.  I am going to meet another foreign born man next weekend and I have to drive close to an hour to meet him part way so this is a little different scenario as he is the one pushing to meet for coffee. Your input would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks.

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Kelly June 27, 2014 at 11:45 am

Is it possible to be in love if you talked to him online and then you talk to him on the phone everyday for months before actually meeting him?

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Cherry Norris June 27, 2014 at 3:59 pm

Hi Kelly,
It’s possible to be in love with the idea of who he is. You need to meet in person before you know if there’s real chemistry and connection.
Love,
Cherry

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Avra January 14, 2013 at 5:35 pm

One email. Ideally, I prefer to be asked out for coffee in the very first email I receive. That, to me, is a "good sign." No phone calls. No talking. One email. I can tell from his profile whether or not I am interested enough to find out if I like him. keeps fantasies at bay ;). 

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Cala June 27, 2014 at 1:59 pm

I agree with Avra. Well, maybe a few of emails over 2 weeks at most, but I'm not in the mood to tell details of my life to a total stranger quizzing me online. I do not understand why a man will keep writing and not want to meet. Before giving up on someone, I will write that if he would like to meet sometime, please let me know. After that, I often don't receive another email from the guy. What is going on here? Am I being too forward, are they just wanting to have a fantasy relationship online, or what?

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Dawn June 28, 2014 at 2:20 am

EXACTLY, Avra!  3 email exchanges at the most, and then if they don't ask me out, I'm not interested!  I do NOT do long-distance – it's a FANTASY!

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Ann January 13, 2013 at 12:36 am

Cheery,
Great advice! It is so easy to fall for the sound of someomne's voice, the words they choose to use, even the topic of conversations. But nothing says more then meeting face to face with all the unconscious energies at work!
Big hugs,
Ann 🙂

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Wendy January 12, 2013 at 2:47 am

Hi Cherry:  Thanks for the wonderful video, as always.  I usually exchange two to three emails before I speak to a man by telephone.  After this call I know if I want to meet him, and generally we set up a date at his request.  I am not online to correspond with a pen pal and I know that you cannot tell anything about a man until you meet him in person and spend time with him.  Also, the casting of the "less than desirable" date at the end of this video was fabulous. Bravo to the actress.

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Patti January 11, 2013 at 11:23 pm

Hi Cherry, I have been communicating with a man who lives 3 hours away. We finally met 1 week ago. He came to see me and take me to breakfast and then we talked for a few hours. He has invited me to come see him and where he lives. I believe that also tells you a lot about the person. See his home and see his life. I like him, and I must tell you I do believe that you need to spend time with the man, and get a sense about him, and see how you relate on many levels. I am not a big advocate of distance relationships, but I like what I have seen and heard so far. I totally agree with you. I could never be in love with someone I have never even met. Your articles and comments have helped me a lot. Thank you. Patti

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P J January 11, 2013 at 10:45 pm

I’ve been dating online off and on for several years. I have corresponded with at least 100 men and met over 60 of them. So many of them decided I was “the one” before the first meeting if I let the initial correspondence and phone calls go on for awhile. The problem is, I have NEVER been physically attracted to any of them on the first meeting. Those that think they’re in love often start behaving like we have a relationship and will start calling, emailing and texting me several times a day. Its this “instant relationship” attitude that kills all possibility of me getting to know a man to see if the physical chemistry will develop over time. That’s a pretty high failure rate for all the men I’ve met.
Is there any one else who never finds physical chemistry with online dating? Cherry, do you have any advice for someone like me who’s a little slow out of the gate?

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Leah June 29, 2014 at 4:04 am

I have had the same experiences.  I live outside a very small town and have trouble finding local guys to date.  I have had 3 different guys that I met and communicated with on line.  I have communicated with them for months and months via email, phone, or skype and it feels like you know them, but when I meet them I am not physically attracted to them!  It is like who is this person?  The last one was smothering me when we met for the second time after 6 months of skype or phone and I just couldn't handle it.  I broke it off after I got home and he didn't understand what I was feeling and that I needed time and closer proximity. After that I decided to meet sooner and more often and try to find someone closer.  I don't think that it is me for the most part.  I think I just haven't met the right person.  We do get a false sense of intimacy if don't test it out in person.

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Pam January 11, 2013 at 6:17 pm

I will write back and forth with a guy for maybe a week.  After that, I expect them to ask for my number or be willing to give me theirs.  After a phone conversation, I usually can get a sense of if this is a person I want to meet or not.  I then expect the meeting to take place within a week or two at the most.  After meeting for the first time, I usually have a sense of whether I would like to go out with him again or not.  I have found that it is usally a good idea to have at least 2 meetings if you are unsure but certainly don't waste a lot of time dating a guy who you don't think has what you are looking for.  I also don't like to only date one guy at a time and usually have at least 2 or 3 men I will be corresponding with until I make a decision about which one I think I like the most.

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Isabelle January 11, 2013 at 5:14 pm

 
I've enjoyed watching your videos Cherry. Today I feel drawn to respond to your invitation to speak and offer my perspective. I hope you do not mind the depth of my answer, I just felt inspired to share a differing view although they really come together when you look closely.
 
The way I see it, yes you can fall in love with someone before meeting him.
Someone once said to me something I did not understand for quite some time. I had met him online but not in physical form when he said this to me. " I have loved you before I even met you". 
 
What does falling in love mean? For me it means to experience the feeling of love inside my being and that feeling is very real. That feeling arises in us because we allow ourselves to feel it, because it is correct for us to feel it, because it is who we are. We are love, but before we can feel it, certain conscious and unconscious things need to get out of the way first, and others need to be present. When you feel love for some one, you are allowing the love that you are to be expressed. In order to feel and experience it at first you project it on the outside, on someone else and mistakenly think he is the source of your love, the one who gives you that wonderful feeling. But in truth, what you are falling in love with is the reflection of your essence in the other. He is only the messenger which helps reveal to you the love you hold within and which eventually will find its way back to you when you realize it has been inside all along.
 
 “In the heart of a human being, emptiness becomes love. When we touch that Source, instantly the love is present. Literally, the divine becomes human and the human becomes divine.”
~ Adyashanti 
 
Now, whether online or in physical form, arises the reality of dealing with the many things that will pull you away from feeling that love, your judgments, assumptions, misunderstandings, belief in needs and certain conditions, your fears and all.  When you first meet online and fall in love with someone, there is a big gap that can happen between how you know the person online and your experience of him/her in physicality. Online you only had access to part of the picture. What you fell in love with was his essence, his spirit which is the part of him that is the same as your true essence. You were able to perceive it so clearly because so much was out of the way, a bit like a blind person whose other senses are much more sensitive because of it. When meeting in physicality all this comes back and now you have to deal with it, and you may not like what you see and may feel betrayed, disappointed because you though the love you felt came from that person, that he gave you that feeling of love and here he is in front of you and ewww you do not like what you see anymore so you reject the whole package and close the door on your love.
 
If you are wanting to have a “regular” relationship with someone you definitely need to meet him in form and not wait too long. But there are other forms of relating and relationship possible nowadays and it can feel as real and even more real and bring a depth of inner experiences that are literally out of this world. It is a rocky road though and one you may not want to go onto or one you do not have a choice but follow. 
 
We are all here to have the experiences that are correct for us. And our little me cannot possibly know what these are.  Thank you for reading, I wish you the best on your journey of experiencing life and love.
 

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Jennifer March 19, 2016 at 4:42 am

Thanks for sharing, very interesting way of looking at things!

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Suzanne January 11, 2013 at 5:01 pm

Yes, I agree totally Cherry! The fantasy is ususally 9-out-of-10-times-better than the reality! lol…I know women who have been in online "relationships" (relationships? right! lol..), for over a year & they dont get it that is just a "fantasy game" to the guys…. Dont fall for it ladies! Meet them in person ASAP! 🙂
Suzanne~

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Eva January 11, 2013 at 3:41 pm

Hi Cherry,
Thanks for the weekly videos I really look forward to them. I was talking to a man on the phone because of business. He was from Texas, very charming, polite. It seemed like we were hitting it off. We talked outside of work for about 2 month. His sister was getting married in Colorado and he asked me if I wanted to meet him there. I would have my own room and we would get to know eachother. I had never seen what he looked like, but I guess I wanted that to be part of the getting to know you. As soon as I met him at the airport I knew we would just be freinds. So I agree, you have to physically meet each other and listen to your body.

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Judy January 11, 2013 at 3:19 pm

I have been involved in online dating for several years. I completely agree with you comments on the subject.
 
How long I talk to someone before meeting depends a lot on him and the distance. I like to have at least one phone conversation with home if he doesn't live in the same city. You can learn so much from talking and hearing the voice.
Generally though I prefer to meet sooner than later, maybe half a dozen conversations can tell you if there any obvious reasons to not meet.
My biggest problem is this: I live in a relatively small city with very little selection so have to look farther afield, an hour to an hour and a half. Most men don't seem to want to go any distance, so what am I to do.  Is there something I could be saying to encourage them to overlook the distance?
 
Thanks Cherry
Judy
Chatham, ON, Canada

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Anita January 11, 2013 at 1:52 pm

Personally. I think you should meet him as soon as possible.  For someone local a week or two is enough time to see if there is some mutual interest.  If you are further apart, then it might be a month or two.  My experience is as Cherry said the reality does not always meet your expectations.

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