He Seems Interested, But He Hasn’t Made A Move …

by Cherry Norris on February 4, 2015

It is so frustrating when you’re interested an attractive man, but you’re not really sure if he’s interested in you.

Maybe you’ve seen him a few times.

When you do, he’s always polite. Β He’s quick to smile or give you a wink, but it’s really confusing because he hasn’t approached.

He could be shy, but what’s the deal?

If he were really into you wouldn’t he say something?

It’s so confusing when you feel the attraction but don’t know what’s going on.

Today’s video gives you a fun, fail-proof tip on what to do when a man you like won’t initiate a conversation or invite you out.

There’s a reason an attractive man who seems interested doesn’t ask you out and it’s not just because he’s married or gay.

In the comment section below, tell me what you do when you see an interesting man who doesn’t initate a conversation or a date.

Enjoy!

Love,
Cherry

 

{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }

Linda July 3, 2016 at 1:45 pm

Hi Cherry,

 For the past month I keep running into  this man and a coffee shop once or twice a week .  I found myself attracted to him and I felt the feeling could have been mutual.  We have communicated with Small talk," hi"," how are you today", "what do you do for work" etc.  The last two times I saw him I sat down and he came over to me to talk more small talk.  Of course I was waiting for him to ask me out.  Finally the last time he came over to me, he said " maybe someday we will see each other on another setting."  So I thought OK this is it. But no he did not ask me out so of course I was not gonna let this opportunity go.  I replied back and said why don't we go out for a drink sometime.  I really did not want to be the one but at the same time I felt that we had a mutual interest so what was the worst he could say.  If if he said no then at least I would Kmow that  he wasn't interested  for one reason or another.  He responded back " I would like that ".  So I did not have a pen in just my phone on me and he gave me his number.   To be sure I asked if he  was in a relationship and he said no he had done some dating  over the past few years but not very actively.  I don't know why I still feel so insecure but since I made the move I feel like he should call me.  When he gave me his number I dialed it so I could save it in my phone.  I don't know what to do next.  I feel that everything has been so strategic.  My gut feels that I should just send him a text in a week.  Is there a way I could give him the opportunity so I know that he is interested ?

linda

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Kat May 1, 2015 at 11:25 pm

I worked with a man two times (20 years apart). He was my boss both times! I'm pretty sure we are soulmates because a friend of mine is an intuitive counselor and told me that he is indeed a soulmate. I have a crazy/uncanny attraction to him and I think it's mutual. The seond time I worked with him (this past year). He stopped wearing his wedding ring and after I stopped working there because the attraction was getting in the way of the job I've lost friends because he separated with his wife and people had heard we worked together as well as 20 years ago. We had more of an attraction then. I'm wondering if I should wait for him or move on! Since he just did separate from his wife.. wish he could let me know something!

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Patricia February 15, 2015 at 4:07 am

Cherry,

I don't think a woman should ask a man out.  The man should do the pursuing.  If a woman gives a man the "six second smile" and starts a conversation if he doesn't react to it, that should be enougn.

 

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Melissa February 6, 2015 at 3:33 pm

Dear Cherry,
When On-Line dating, is being the first to send
“a wink” to show your interest in a man’s profile
perhaps “taking on the masculine role” ?
Melissa

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Cherry Norris February 6, 2015 at 4:01 pm

Thanks for your question, Melissa.
Sending a wink is not being masculine b/c you’re not taking the lead and speaking first. It’s the equivalent of standing across the room and sending him a “6 second smile.” Many quality men are shy to approach if they aren’t signaled first. Sending a wink on line tells a man you’re interested and you’re it’s safe to approach.
Love,
Cherry

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Anita February 6, 2015 at 1:11 pm

To thine own self be true. Cherry, i do agree with your premise, however, isn’t there a case to be made for honesty and clear communication? Perhaps the reason a man hasn’t initiated is because he’s not truly available but it could also be that he thinks the woman is “out of his league”. I have found that on the rare occasion that I do meet someone interesting that I owe it to myself to settle it. After a bit of time has passed with casual flirtation then I will say, ‘Hey, we’ve been chatting for a while and it’s been fun. I’d like to get to know you better.” If after that he doesn’t initiate then I move on but i do so knowing I dealt honestly with my own intentions and feelings. Even highly intelligent men are often socially/emotionally dense and need to hear a woman speak from the heart.

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Bee February 6, 2015 at 3:43 pm

Anita…I agree…some men are just as scared. I have heard of many instances where the woman made a subtle move and they are married. So I don’t think its always like that one can remain very feminine being a bit assertive at least.

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sophie marie December 20, 2014 at 1:30 am

Iv also caught him mirroring me with hand to face gestures, the index finger to the lip and the thumb placed underneath the chin he hasn’t even accepted me in Facebook I’m trying to be receptive to him but I’m scared to be rejected and dunoo if h is interested or if its just him being friendly

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sophie marie December 20, 2014 at 1:26 am

I’m in a pantomime with this guy and he’s super cute he winks at me every time he passes me but I can’t seem to grasp his vibes. He never initiated a conversation always me he’s in a relationship but I’m sure he likes me. But so darn confused ! he passes me and always either calls me darling or lovely and then he winks as when he passes and sorting the stick on hair on his chest for his lead role he sorting his costume and when he catches me looking h looks and continues to sort his chest hair out and keeps re-ajusting his collar and always puts his hand behind his head and moves about as if he’s unsure of where to stand all the time I’m in his presence. One time I caught him looking wend quickly looking away also. Were both 20 I try to start conversations with him but they never last long and its an awkward silence between us why is this he greets m with winks and smiles or raised brows but that’s it.I really like him but know he’s taken anyway so dunno why I’m typing this lol please help thanks

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Ashola June 23, 2014 at 4:00 pm

This is SO TRUE….  I had a gorgeous man approach me and beg me out….I went and all of a sudden, he SWITCHED to the feminine…..on the date he primarily talked business…I listened until he hit a nerve….then I spoke up and my masculine (business) came out….since then, he was just a GIRL…uggg….it wiped out all of the man I saw….now I don't know what to do……

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Em Rao May 11, 2014 at 10:20 pm

Hi Cherry 
I have a very good looking man that says this Im interested in you and want to get to know you better….but he s not moving…He will email me…but doesnt respond if I email him or IM Him….
Should I be concerned……or am I just impatient…….ty
Em

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Ev March 29, 2014 at 2:09 am

Cherry, 
Thank you for the great advice!  I've watched this video a long time ago, and the lesson stuck.  I just found myself in this situation and happily walked away from it.  I am very strong and independent woman but I want to stay in the receptive role.  There is no longer any doubt in my mind about it.  If this gorgeous, nice and funny guy is so interested in "moi"; he needs to initiate and pursue me.  I'm happy with my decision and no longer distracted or frustrated trying to figure the situation out.  Sadly, most of my girlfriends insisted I should pursue.  Although I have explained why, they don't seem to get it.  I guess everyone has to discover these truths on their own time…as I have. 
Thank you, thank you!

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Silence! July 4, 2013 at 5:56 pm

Thats a good one that could be useful for anyone really.
Shortly and simply : I met and still see this woman ( in 30’s) with wonderful eyes. Indicated my interest subtly, took few chances to get to know. Results were not bad but I realised she is getting married soon and withdrew from situ (because dont want to get in betweenthem).since then no talking for the same reason.
Thought if she wants she’ll make a move .
Recently after marriage not sure if she’s teasing or showing interest in me or even cutting me down to size for withdrawing earlier. There are few obvious things she does which make me think one of above her dressing changed , she tries to come where I sit for what ever reason and even continues to look at me .
I’m interested but don’t know what to do. Not sure making a move and start talkingis worth. Appreciate every comment cannot be replied but would be good to see some advice please. Thanks.

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Gail May 31, 2013 at 4:43 pm

I forgot (yes after all of that I forgot something) he's 55 I'm 48. He doesn't know my age and I look like I'm about 35ish. He may also think that because my son is 17. Could it be he thinks I'm too young for him?

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Cherry Norris May 31, 2013 at 6:47 pm

Gail,
Thanks for your note. Your age is irrelevant. Sounds like there’s something else going on with this man that he hasn’t made a move in 3 years. I suggest you look for new men who are more receptive to your smile and will initiate inviting you out!
Hope this helps.
Love,
Cherry

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Gail May 30, 2013 at 2:06 am

I am so confused about the man I like. We've known each other for about 10 years and he seems interested but hasn't made a move. Now when I say we've known each other for that long all of our encounters have been brief with 10-15 minute converstations at a time. He was a bus driver and I would talk to him on my way to work. TheOnce he even jokingly said "So are you married yet?" But me being me didn't catch on that he was flirting DUH!! I just laughed it off. He always sings on the bus (as well as he used  to on stage)  and always the same song when I was on but was it for me? And he gave me  a wink and a smile once when I got off. Then I  got a car and stopped taking the bus, however when I would see him he would always smile and wave or stop and ask how I was first. I would tell my friends about this guy and that there's something about him but I didn't know what and he's not my usual type.
Well about 2 years or more went by without any real contact. Then he showed up at my new job in a home improvement store. He started talking top me first and I actually didn't recognize him at first.  He even asked about my son which blew me away that he would even remember that. I had a child. I mean the man meets hundreds of people a day. Someone who isn't interested wouldn't  remember details.
So now I've been at that job over 3 years. He comes in randomly but always says Hi, stops to chat, makes sure I notice him by doing something funny or making funny faces. Then there's still the wink. He stands close to me, even moving to the end of the counter to be closer to where I am. Once he came in and I was so happy to see him I said something like "You're here"  and he came over and gave me a huge hug (jaw hit the floor) He showed up one Valentines day- good sign he's single. He does the light arm punch/touch on occasion. I said he should join me for a drink around Christmas last year as he was working so much, but he said he has a party to go to and never asked if he could take a raincheck and he's never brought it up. He told me he's retiring from the bus and will be able to spend more time at the store. Just after New Years this year he came in and I gave him a hug. The hug back was a huge bear hug hug.
I have made subtle very awkward hints that  would let him know I like him and he would have to be really blind not to see it. I have all of these great conversations and witty things I would like to say in my head but they never  make it out of my mouth. So with all of the right signals and body language etc WHY HASN'T HE ASKED ME OUT? Am I coming across as chasing/needy? Does he see me as a friend only? Is he shy-can't see it actually but who knows? Does he like me but doesn't want to get involved with someone with a teenage son (he's 17) as his are all grown. Is he waiting until he retires and isn't working insane hours?  I just don't know.
I know his cell number from my work- he didn't give it to me- but should I send him a text? Should I call and make out it's a wrong number call from my work? Would that be stalkerish? What should I do? Wait it out more? I can't bring myself to ask him for coffee or anything after the Christmas drink turn down. My friends all think I should but what do you think? HELP please….
sorry this is so long
 
 
Y

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Mia May 20, 2013 at 8:30 am

Hey There
I am in a situation where I feel there is mutual interest, however he is my private ballroom instructor. Its an informal/casual class. So what about in such situations? Not wanting to "Cross the boundaries"?.
 
 
 

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MJ May 17, 2013 at 3:51 pm

This is a great reminder.  After folllowing your posts and classes for more than a year, I find that you are a great guide, Cherry.
I've gotten to where I want to be with a man who initiates our first meeting , and who has energy and confidence about being in a relationship.  It can be exhausting keeping up a relationship that is emotionally imbalanced. There are enough life challenges along the way that will require our strength.
I had an interesting relationship recently.  Good in many ways, but then found he doesn't want to commit deeply again, never recovering from a tough divorce.  It's an adventure finding men who are ready!  So let him initiate, and then….ask questions!

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Cherry Norris May 17, 2013 at 4:35 pm

Thanks, MJ!
You got it πŸ™‚
Love,
Cherry

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Jasmin May 17, 2013 at 11:20 am

When I first knew and was trying to get close to my boyfriend, he also wouldn't make much of a move. It was disheartening at the beginning, but I continued to be sweet and gentle, and he slowly opened his heart to me. It was kind of annoying and confusing at first – but now I won't trade my man for any other. He loves me so right and I love him dearly.

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Cherry Norris May 17, 2013 at 4:35 pm

Love it, Jasmin! Wonderful news!

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Nina May 13, 2013 at 9:59 pm

Hello Cherry Noris,
My issue is frustrating. I am a college student and so is the guy I find attractive (pseudonym is mr. International). Mr. International receives tons of attention from  women everywhere he goes. I met mr. International last semester in an Exchange student organization on campus. Ever since the middle of October I would pass by him during the organization's meetings and he would wink at me! I would politely smile and continue what I was doing. Mr. International has winked at me several times without initiating a conversation with me or any other woman. 
I'm getting irritated by his winks because he is confusing me. I grew up in a community where if a man wanted a woman he would approach her first.
Mr. International is from Central Germany and I have been researching Central Germany. Based on my research about flirting and dating in Germany the women are placed in masculine roles and the men are placed in feminine roles. 
However, I understand that men are men. If there is something men want they will go after it, but I'm fed-up with his flirtatious winks when no one is watching. I understand he is a private person, also shy, but I'm shy too!
Mr. International and I are friends on Facebook. I have sent a couple of encouraging messages in reagards to school and nothing else. He sees the messages, but doesn't respond to them.
What drives me crazy about this man is that I thought I could be slick in interviewing him for a class assignment. I studied his behavior and he was fidegty. He barely gave eye contact and was curious to ask what was my perception of him. He was nervous during and after the interview. I was too.
What should I do? I have no clue what I should do. I refuse to conform to society's newly established traditions in America. I do not believer women should ask men out and be the first to confess affection. I've done the confessing affection before and my heart was trampled over.
I greatly appreciate the help.
 
Sincerely,
I am so unsure of Mr. International 

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sarah November 11, 2012 at 5:23 pm

What if the guy is the shyest ever ??!!! He looks all the time and is very smiley; but to talk to….. so shy……

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Tamara August 22, 2012 at 3:41 am

Thanks for the insight!  There's a man who works in the building next to me and we have  exchanged looks with each other during my 30 minute lunch break for the past few months. For the past few weeks he has inititated every conversation, introduced himself, shook my hand, asks me what I'm reading, which the first time was a book about Godly dating versus wordly dating, the second time I was studying for my fantasy football draft and he actually said when you get married your husband is going to love you (guys and sports.lol but I actually love sports).  I was so tempted to say "does your wife like sports?", but decided against it because for the most part I have been the initiator in most of my relationships, hence the fact that I am single now. lol. He then asked me my team and I asked his.  Most recently I was reading another inspirational book and he asked me about it and kinda laughed like he's used to me reading only spiritual things and I said, that's not all I do, and his reply was, I really like what you read. We smiled and he said God Bless! I really like this tip because I learned that I don't want to play the masculine role and make the first moves, I want the man to make the first move. If he's married, he's not being disrespectful to his wife as far as I can see by his conversation and if he's not interested and just being friendly, I am fine with that too! And if he is interested, he will let me know. Thanks again!

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Christine August 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm

That makes so much sense thank you very much Cherry.

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Kimberley July 26, 2012 at 11:41 pm

I have ALWAYS whole heartedly believed in that tip.  Let him make the first move.  So glad I have some else that believes that too.  Men really like the chase. ;o)

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Atta girl January 11, 2012 at 8:31 am

I have been attracted to a younger man he is 42, I am 56. I can tell by his body language, the way he looks at me or shy aways, he is experiencing similar feelings. We have “soul mate” conversations. However, We are both in committed relationships, so possibilities don’t exist. It is both sad and exciting. So yes I believe two people can, no matter their ages, can be together. The truly brave ones, can break the chains of society and social norms and have a wonderful life together.

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chai November 26, 2011 at 9:43 pm

I agree with you, Cherry, but I found men do not like a woman make the first move on them before they sent women a signal in general? I am not sure if I am limiting my beliefs. Someone was very interested in me and attracted to me a while ago, then he never made move to see me, when I asked to see him, he disappeared for the past 5 months, I still have not heard a word from him since. So, that approved to me that I should never made that ‘move’. I want to know what do you think of it? I appreciate it.

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Eva October 26, 2011 at 3:22 am

Dear Cherry,

great tip! thank you thank you once more….
if I may share my 5 cents in the subject of “he seems interested but he hasn’t made a move…”….real story …just recently happened to me…
this great guy at work…. we’ve been enjoying talking to each other at work…for last 6 months… to the point where I’d be waiting for the day when he comes to my office…(he works only once or twice a week in my location)…and I could see the same body language in him…He just loved talking to me, sharing, flirting but with respect…Before my 1 month holidays in August..I couldn’t believe that we’re not gonna exchange a phone number or at least email to keep in touch during this 1 month holidays…. he didn’t initiate …so I (yes …I) suggested exchanging email address to “keep in touch”…he didn’t pick up on that …sort of ignored it …but i could see that he was “burning” while looking at me, being around me…after 1 month holidays…the chemistry was still there..love of talking to each other still there…I was deep into him and his body language and what he said was expressing the same…he was really into me…couple more months passed…he still didn’t ask me for a phone number…Finally I just couldn’t wait any longer..and when I put like…what’s up …I can’t wait any longer…After his initial…”yeah, we have to get it started somewhere…” …he spilled out the truth…”that it’s complicated as he is still in an unfinished relationship”. What the !@%!*??? I didn’t see it coming…6 months later he tells me that he is interested but he hasn’t made a move ….because he is in a relationship….
So ladies…my opinion…if he hasn’t made a move…there is a reason for it….(and it is not because he is shy…)

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Cherry Norris October 26, 2011 at 6:21 am

Bravo, Eva!

Great story. Thanks for sharing. It’s true. If a man hasn’t made a move, there’s a reason for it.

Love, Cherry

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Laurie October 25, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Hi Cherry
This is great advice. Thank you for all your help and advice I guess it all boils down to common sense πŸ™‚

L.

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Cherry Norris October 26, 2011 at 6:22 am

Thanks, Laurie!

Many times it’s that simple πŸ™‚

Love, Cherry

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Jean Ann October 24, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Hello Cherry,
Thank you for your simple yet profound advice. You make it seem so matter of fact, and in fact it is. Your videos permet me to retrieve my cool. I just boil up inside still. Ha, ha. But the got it line-end is just what the doctor ordered to help me to relax. Thank you again.
Jean

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Cherry Norris October 26, 2011 at 6:23 am

Great Jean!

Happy to hear my videos keep you cool and help you to relax!

Love, Cherry

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Tina October 23, 2011 at 4:46 am

Cherry, thank you for your wonderful, wise weekly tips! This one really resonates with me because I tend to get hung up on the ones not initiating instead of silently saying, “NEXT!”

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Cherry Norris October 26, 2011 at 6:23 am

Great awareness, Tina!

There are always more men …

Love, Cherry

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mary beth October 22, 2011 at 3:14 pm

How do you find out if the man is married or in a relationship, without coming right out and asking? How do you know if he’s interested or just being friendly? I’m so afraid of rejection that I just act friendly and wait for them to make a move. Alas, nothing happens.

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Cherry Norris October 26, 2011 at 6:24 am

Mary Beth,

Keep smiling and if a man is interested, he will make a move!

Love, Cherry

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Rin October 22, 2011 at 9:23 am

Don’t forget that you can continue to be receptive to him, too! Just don’t expect anything from it (or any other men)- it’s a lot more graceful to be soft and kind to all people regardless of whether you get a date out of it or not. πŸ˜‰

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Cherry Norris October 26, 2011 at 6:25 am

Excellent comment, Rin!

… And so true!

Love, Cherry

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Anthia Ashe October 22, 2011 at 8:04 am

You make my day Cherry. You are so much fun and wise to boot! Oh where did that come from? I should just say wise too!

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Cherry Norris October 26, 2011 at 6:25 am

Yay, Anthia!

Thanks so much!

Love, Cherry

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Lorene October 21, 2011 at 10:41 pm

The music is so cute!

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Cherry Norris October 26, 2011 at 6:26 am

Thanks, Lorene πŸ™‚

Love, Cherry

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Sharon October 21, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Good afternoon, Cherry! I just want to echo the words of Florence ~
“Thank you Cherry for your generosity in sharing your wisdom. I really appreciate your videos.” !

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Cherry Norris October 26, 2011 at 6:26 am

Thank you Sharon!

I so appreciate your tuning in!

Love, Cherry

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Alena October 21, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Hi Cherry,

“Got it”…love that tip!

Please…keep them coming.

Thank you,

Alena

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Cherry Norris October 26, 2011 at 6:26 am

Got it, Alena!

I”ll keep ’em coming! πŸ™‚

Love, Cherry

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Florence October 21, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Thank you Cherry for your generosity in sharing your wisdom. I really appreciate your videos.

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Cherry Norris October 26, 2011 at 6:27 am

Your welcome, Florence!

Thanks for tuning in!

Love, Cherry

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Marlene October 21, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Good tip! Take my focus off that hot guy who’s not making a move, as I want to stay in receptivity. :0)

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Cherry Norris October 26, 2011 at 6:27 am

Bravo, Marlene!

You GOT IT! πŸ™‚

Love, Cherry

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