How To Exit A Date Early …

by Cherry Norris on March 6, 2014

Happy Daylight Savings!

The year is flying by and the days are getting longer!

Loooonnnng days are great when you're out having fun doing things you enjoy.

Loooonnnng dates aren't so great when you're out with a man and find yourself bored to tears, wishing it were over and wanting it to end.

Oh, to know how to end the evening early so the torture is over sooner than later.

Today's Video shows you the best way to exit a date early, with respect to the man and feel good about it.

The next time you're out with a man and the date lasts looonnnnger than you like, use this fun, fail-proof tip to complete it and move on.

Thanks for watching and let me know your ideas in the comment section below!

Love, 

Cherry

 

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Beth August 3, 2012 at 12:11 pm

I understand the first two directives, Cherry…the expression of appreciation fo the invitation,and the expression of feelings.  Please detail the "agreement" a bit more. Would you wait to hear the male's response to your feelings before saying you feel you would like to end the date early?  Or would you express that right after you express your feelings of being uncomfortable?  Thanks for your response.

Reply

Cherry Norris August 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Hi Beth,
Thanks for your note. Yes, tell him you want to end the date early after you’ve expressed how uncomfortable you are and see if he’s in agreement. That’s being respectable. If he’s not in agreement, I suggest you take care of yourself and express that you’re not comfortable staying. Got it? Good!
Love, Cherry

Reply

Lisa August 3, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I appreciate your intention to balance authenticity and respect in ending a date early by posing it as a question. My concern is that in asking a question we have to be prepared to accept no for a response. What do I do if he asks for another chance or gives some other awkward response. Seems a polite and clear statement may be more effective and honest. Say something like, "Thank you for inviting me out. I appreciate the opportunity to get to know to know you. Unfortunately, we're not a fit, so I think it's best to call it an evening now. I hope you understand. Good night." 

Reply

Cherry Norris August 3, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Hi Lisa,
You got it … only after telling the man “I think it’s best to call it an evening now” ask if he’s in agreement. If he is, great. If not, then say something like, “I’m sorry you don’t agree. I don’t feel comfortable staying any longer and I must leave.” This gives him the opportunity to express his thoughts and not be so one sided. Hope this helps.
Love, Cherry

Reply

Anthia Ashe August 4, 2012 at 4:14 am

Thanks for standing your ground, Cherry.  Respect at all costs, I agree.  I love my Fridays on the computer listening and watching you and benefiting!  And the contributions of the comments.

Reply

Gigi August 7, 2012 at 4:38 am

Hi, Cherie
  I love your videos. Short and sweet and helpful.  But this one leaves me wondering.  When do you tell the man?  If you are out at dinner, do you then offer to pay for half the check?  I feel uncomfortable.  I don't want to hurt their feelings or leave them feeling used. Thank you!
   Gigi

Reply

Lisa March 7, 2014 at 5:02 pm

I agree with the more direct approach. Thank him. Express feelings. Then gently be clear in stating your intention to leave. No reason to invite a discussion when your mind is made up. 

Reply

Newcomer March 7, 2014 at 5:15 pm

Cherry, 
Thank you for your compassionate and communication training – really!  The video was very kind, respectful and communicative to for both parties – that's lovely.  I think the phrase "..asking for permission" is what set me off as well.  But you rephrasing to say, I'm uncomfortable with this date and would like to end it how do you feel" is letting him know where you stand and giving him an opportunity for input.  My question:
What if he says, "I'm having a good time and I'd like to hang out for another hour? Or he says, "You're uncomfortable? Why?"  And I say "I just don't feel we're a good match? Then he asks questions? Or is defensive?  Or gets angry? 
Thanks much!
Sophia
 

Reply

Cherry Norris March 7, 2014 at 9:05 pm

Hi Sophia,

Thanks for your note.  You simply say something like, "I appreciate your wanting me to explain my feelings, but I'm not able to.  I respect men who cherish my feelings no matter how irrational they may be."  If he gets angry or defensive a further indicator he's not the right man for you.

Love,

Cherry

Reply

Tina March 8, 2014 at 8:29 pm

Cherry, I agree with you. "If it's okay" is like a rhetorical question. You're not asking his permission at all! HA HA HA Nothing is lost by being kind and saving a man's dignity. After all, he might have a hot friend. I wouldn't want that hot friend to hear that I rode out on a broom.
Regards!
Tina

Reply

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