How To Know If He’s Really Interested …

by Cherry Norris on April 21, 2016

When you finally meet a man who's responsive to your requests, it's a good sign.  It shows he likes you.

But if you're questioning why he doesn't ask you out, it may be because of one simple thing.

Today's video gives you a fun, fail-proof tip to know exactly how to tell if a man is REALLY interested in you and what to do if he's not.

Enjoy and let me know in the comments section below if you prefer to pursue or be pursued!

Love, 

Cherry

{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

leonard December 21, 2016 at 2:09 pm

 Oh, how wonderful, if the man does NOT  "pursue"  (pay homage?) , then, of course, he is LAZY and needs to "man up"  and "be a man".Talk about ENTITLED  women!
 

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Camille April 25, 2016 at 2:41 am

Cherry,

Let the man take the lead!

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Michele July 8, 2014 at 4:31 pm

Hi Cherry, 
I ENJOY your videos tremendously.  My concern today is: If it's either I ask a man out OR he asks me out, and I choose to be asked, will I be dealing with a controlling man who makes all the decsions?  I'm ready for a real partnership. 
Thank you for your gems of wisdom,
Michele

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Cherry July 8, 2014 at 6:20 pm

Hi Michele,
Thanks for your message.  Great question.  If a man asks you out, follow his lead to allow him to show you who he is.  If he asks how you feel, you tell him.  He won't be a controlling man who makes all the decisions if he cares about you and wants to please you.  You simply guide him with your feelings and express your appreciation!
Love,
Cherry

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Amanda July 5, 2014 at 1:13 am

Yes I'd rather have him ask me out!

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randy July 4, 2014 at 7:53 pm

That's not true – it cn be equal – both people can share in the male/female roles equally.  The best strategy is to discuss it so that you both are on the same page and you are not manipulating by bait and switch or playing any other subtle games.  Open communication is always what will ultimately work best and lead to the most solid relationship.  Someone with whom you will be compatible will also be someone with whom you can communicate well, explaining your vulnerability, needs, desires.   Talk about it if you have any doubts.  If the guy or gal doesn't have the ability to openly discuss their feelings, and you need that, then it probably won't work in the long run so you have lost nothing.  A real guy knows how to talk about and is receptive to hearing your feelings.

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april August 27, 2016 at 4:43 pm

Randy, that is so refreshing to hear: that a man does want to know what a woman feels. I am glad to know this type of man is still out there! :~}

It sort of helps me clarify my decision of whether to stay or leave my 33 year relationship as my husband just doesn't know how to communicate.
I am looking forward to seeking a man who appreciates just raw, open (but kind) communication and honesty.

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Fran July 4, 2014 at 7:20 pm

The idea of of a woman pursuing a man just about makes me crazy! I really do not think it is a womans place to pursue a man, unless she wants toforever  wear the pants in a relationship. Once a woman makes the choice to be the powerful pursuer, it seems she must keep those pants on forever! If she is only looking for sex, then pursuing is surely the way to go. Women hold the power in this reagrd.
I could have many men if I wanted to pursue a bunch of lazy beaten down men, but I refuse to do so! A few men have asked me to call them after a first or second date. I will not do that during the courtshiop phase, when I feel he should be pursuing me! When I do not call back, the man always calls me if he wants to see me again. It works like magic. I want a real man who is not afraid to play the masculine role of the pursuer!  Too many women have pursued men, and this, in my experience, has created a huge problem for those of us who wish to be pursued. There are a LOT of lazy men out there, who seem to have been turned into wimps by these so-called powerful women who pursue them. I read a mans profile on a dating site just yesterday where he proclaimed, "I am waiting for a woman to sweep me off my feet!" I say he is a lazy WIMP! I do not date wimps! I have been pursued in the past and will patiently wait until my next )and hopefully last!) man comes along. My man will me a masculine man, who has not lost his male instinct to pursue me!
 
Love this video Cherry, thanks for all you do! You are terrific!
 

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Magda July 4, 2014 at 5:42 pm

I've always heard that if a man is really interested in you, he will pursue. Who wants a man who doesn't take any initiative? I personally don't think pursuing your man is the way to get married. Correct me if I'm wrong…

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Karen July 4, 2014 at 5:39 pm

I've been doing a lot of online dating, and it amazes me the stories men tell of how the women are chasing them, asking them out, and sleeping with them quickly.  These men seem to get very lazy.  They are asking me to call them first, and then after the date, they say, "Call me."  I've been responding with something like, "I'm a bit old fashioned, and I find it hard to take the lead."  I even put in my profile that I like a man to be a man and make the first moves, so please write to me if you're interested.  I know I'm doing the right thing, but I'm not getting a lot of responses.  Do you see anything I can tweak?  Personally, I really am old fashioned in the dating department, and I don't make the first moves.  I do want a man to take the lead, but has online dating emasculated men because the women are so easy and are taking the male role? 

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Tina July 20, 2014 at 6:45 pm

Karen, I'll remember that "I'm a bit old fashioned …." Thank you for the great words.
–Tina

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Lynn April 23, 2016 at 2:45 am

karen,

I also say I'm old fashioned but only after he has initiated contact.  I don't put the 'old-fashioned' in my profile.  Here's an example: a man messages, we have a few back and forths and he gives me his phone number and says he'd love to chat offline.  I respond with "yes, I'd love to chat and here is my number."  I'm a bit old-fashioned so I will look forward to hearing from you."  This immediately separates the men from the boys! 

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Joanne July 4, 2014 at 2:52 pm

Thank you Cherry….   very valuable information…  Pursuing a man is definitely a thing of the past for me…  Men who pursue have become much more attractive…  those who do not appear lazy to me now…. 

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karnten July 4, 2014 at 1:25 pm

Thank you Cherry! I was overthinking about this topic tthis week "why this guy is not asking me to go ou?"t… so Finally I realized I dont want to pursue a guy… so I will wait to see what happend… great advise,
 

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Carma Spence November 30, 2012 at 10:56 pm

I definately want to be pursued, and so I no longer ask men out. That said, I find myself often attracted to shy men who don't seem to have the gumption to ask me out. For example, the guy I like right now belongs to a corporate Toastmasters club I'm mentoring, so I only see him at his work. He alwalys smiles at me and makes a point to greet me. Also, and this is what made me think he likes me, he always makes a point to shake my hand and holds my hand a few seconds longer that necessary. Could that be a "him" thing? Or is it really a sign he likes me? And, if he does, how do I encourage him to be a little bolder and ask me out?

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linda November 30, 2012 at 12:35 am

love the quick video's! have someone who is pursuing when he isn't doing anything else..sports, other friends and when I suggest making a plan for a futureevent/date/etc. he says he can't plan that far ahead…guess i should figure he is looking to get someone to fill in when nothing else shows up..in other words he appears to want his cake and eat it too.. I now only make certain times available for him, which means not everytime he calls am I free…any other suggestions, or like just forget him…

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Diane November 25, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Thank you, Cherry. I would much rather be pursued than doing the pursuing. It is too exhausting to be the pursuer and I have found that I don't have much patience or respect for a man who won't take the lead. It's not anything personal, just know it's not what I want.  Then I know, it's time to move on and find someone who will pursue me, who will value me and want to spend more time with me.

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Natasha November 24, 2012 at 10:17 am

Last thing,
i find myself in a uncomfortable position when a men is tending to be passive, i have this tendency to be active, to do the work. Do you have any tipps and advises how to be constantly aware not do it and once you are aware of it that you do it, how to refrain/abstain from it? Is the reason impatience or lack of self-love/confidence, fear from beeing alone? How can i repair it? THANK YOU FOR YOUR ANSWER.

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Natasha November 24, 2012 at 10:09 am

One more thing, i heard for this advice long time ago, but i thought this was old fashion way, but i was wrong, not listening to your advice a women is in a danger to be hurt, disrispected, exhausted, frustrated…The more i hear this tip from you, the more i am sure that it is the best possible way for a women: to be pursued and not to pursue. LIke this is the ancient receipe for good realtionship with men. For all women through the whole history. It gives the magic savour to the relationship.THANK YOU and happy Thanksgiving day!

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Natasha November 24, 2012 at 10:02 am

Thank you Cherry,
you are absolutly amazing, when i see your attitute, how you are gorgeous and pretty in some special way, i can think of that you are very attractive to men. That s the best reason to listen to your advice. I think your inner beeing reflects outward beauty. When i see your videos i see talented, beautiful woman with attitude and dignity. This is wonderful, i think we got two messages from you in your video, through words and through your looks/gestures.  THANKS FOR DOING THIS ALL FOR US alone WOMEN.

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Ev November 23, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Your timing is impecabble! Just yesterday, I started the "bait and switch" with a gentleman I've known for a while.  I truly want to know his level of interest and this is the only way to do so.   
My level of interest will depend on his.  No "ifs" or "buts".  Actions DO speak louder than words.  
Thank you.

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Tasee bell November 23, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I prefer to be Persued I have tried being the Persuer and it doesn't feel good. I want him to lead.

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Kat November 23, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I'm old school I like to be pursued. I like being treated like a lady. Once the relationship takes off and I know he is interested in me, I "pursue" him, yet letting him think he did all the work. And, his male ego is satisfied.

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Cherry Norris November 23, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Funny, Kat!!

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Robin November 23, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I think, in the end, it is better to be pursued, as the indicates the effort that is needed not only to capture you, but to keep you.

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Cherry Norris November 23, 2012 at 4:17 pm

You got it, Robin!

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Beth November 23, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Hi, Cherry~ I LOVE how you answer these valuable questiona from your readership in two to three minutes time. It demonstrates both your ease and expertise.  So many thanks!

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Cherry Norris November 23, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Thank YOU, Beth!

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Ginell November 23, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I like being pursued and that's the way I respect a man but in the old days I used to pursue men out of desperation and sure enough they got comfortable and never pursued me. So now I let them pursue me all the way and if they don't then I don't take it personally and just think they're not my men.

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Cherry Norris November 23, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Excellent, Ginell!!

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Marie November 23, 2012 at 7:05 am

Happy Thanksgiving Cherry!,
Back in the day pursing men was my thing.  Thought it empowered me.  After a while, it was unfulling and made me unhappy in relationships.  Always got the Guy but in my eyes, he became lazy and wanted me to do everything.  It wasn't until I realized exactly what you are saying in this video, that the Guy didn't have to do much (the pursuing) because everything was done for him by me.  Some Guys started to pursue me and some did not once I pulled back.  These days being pursued instead of pursuing feels good.  There is a shy Guy who is pursuing me and although the interest is on my part as well, allowing him to go at his own pace is best for me..    
As always, great video! 🙂

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Cherry Norris November 23, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Wonderful, Marie!! 🙂

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