To Call (Or Not To Call) After A Great First Date?

by Cherry Norris on February 17, 2015

Imagine meeting a wonderful man who takes you out on an amazing date.

You felt connected, relaxed and had so much fun!

He was a perfect gentleman and treated you well …

So after the date, do you call or text to thank him … or wait until he calls you?

Today's video gives you a fun, fail-proof tip on one of the most important things to know after a great first date.

When you meet a new man, you don't want to blow it.  You want him to keep calling  you back and inviting you out.  

Thanks for watching!  Leave me a comment below and let me know your thoughts about calling men.

Enjoy!

Love, Cherry

{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

Lawrence October 11, 2015 at 7:47 am

Happen to stumble on this thread and as a guy find it very interesting. It seems we are damned if we do and damned if we don't! Girl's, please be aware that no guy likes rejection or making a fool of himself. I, by nature, am more reticent in these matters; I suppose it is a pride issue. However, I will happily initiate and make the first move IF THERE HAS BEEN A HINT OF INVITATION. Not only is that simple but its reasonable too. Plus potentially being considered pushy, creepy & stalky is not cool and in a work setting, if we get it even slightly wrong,  we may end up receiving a call from HR regarding an harrassment charge. Furthermore, how do we know the girl/lady is not just being polite and the most she intends to do is friendzone me?

Strategies to make men jealous, test him, "treat him mean to keep him keen" are fraught with danger. Any self respecting guy if treated like that will interprete a lack of interest on her part, shrug his shoulders and move on.

Ok women shouldn't hit on a guy as that is not, in spite of feminism,  socially acceptable behaviour. But if you think he likes you and you like him then its perfectly fine to let him know that you would like to learn more about him!

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Ziji February 20, 2015 at 11:31 pm

Thanks, Cherry.  I've been listening to your videos long enough now to know just what you were going to say!  That said, your voice is sounding quite juicy in this clip…signs of a lively and romantic weekend away.  🙂

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Joana February 20, 2015 at 9:16 pm

And a little update: I wrote R an e-mail on Wednesday, shortly after our call, and today is Friday but he has not replied. In my e-mail, I did not say I was willing to see where we might go together, I just said that I was sorry for cutting him off and wished I had been brave enough to hear him through (hoping he would get the hint and tell me what he had planned on saying). I know men are straight forward and prefer direct wording (though he is left-handed), but I wasn't able to deliver the whole message. I think I will now initiate the 8 week count :s Thank you again, Cherry (it's all part of the process!)

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Cherry Norris February 23, 2015 at 7:22 pm

Indeed it is all part of the process, Joana!  Good for you for reaching out and making amends.  Now let's see what he does … In the meantime, keep smiling at others!!  Love, Cherry

 

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bonnie February 20, 2015 at 9:10 pm

I had a lovely date for Valentine's Day, our first date. Four days later I texted him:"Thank you for an absolutely perfect Valentine's Day". His english is limited. He texted back a message that was too much of a proposition for me, so, I did not respond. A little more tha a day later he sent photos taken on VD. I have not responded and really don't feel like doing so until he comes up with an acceptable invitation. Any feedback?

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Joana February 20, 2015 at 6:11 pm

Thank you again, Cherry, for this great piece of advice 🙂 It saves a lot of heartache not to chase a man 🙂

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Janine May 27, 2013 at 9:41 pm

Dear Cherry,
 
I went through a three year relationship break up.  This was a little over a year ago and he is already married to someone.  It has been a tough recovery.  I am planning on buying your video but do not have the funding for it right at this time. ugh.  I have been watching your you tube videos and just watched Duty Dating last night.  I really enjoyed it and learned alot from it.  Keep up the good work!
 
Janine

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Cherry Norris May 28, 2013 at 4:48 pm

Thanks, Janine.
Happy to hear you’re moving forward and learning a lot!
Keep going and you’ll meet a new man soon!
Love, Cherry

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Molly May 24, 2013 at 4:03 pm

Cherry:
You are right on….DO NOT call…..it will blow it!  I made those mistakes
and it took the right frame of mine about myself, etc. to turn things around
so they keep calling me vs. the other way around.
Love to you,
Molly

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Newcomer May 24, 2013 at 3:15 pm

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY CHERRY!
 

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Kristin May 24, 2013 at 2:59 pm

Cherry,
Oh man talk about late to the video……UGH!!! Went on a GREAT date last nite and he did pay for dinner and drinks and I forgot to thank him at the end of the date :(. So I reached out by text and said,"Hope you made it safely home and I forgot to thank you for dinner and a nice time,,Thank you." he replied ,"had a really nice time" and i said "me as well" and he said, "gnite"i said gnite now I know its in his court BUT i hope I didnt blow it by reaching out first to say thank you…….UGH!!!
Cheers,
Kristin
 

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Cherry Norris May 24, 2013 at 3:40 pm

I feel you Kristin!
Sit tight and see if he cycles back around & calls you again!
Love, Cherry

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Yvonne May 24, 2013 at 1:16 pm

Wish I'd seen this after my date last week. Another great video!

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Moira January 2, 2012 at 7:36 am

Hi, Cherry – Thank you so much for this timely reminder about waiting for the man to call. Thanks to your videos, I’m really getting it about letting a man do the pursuing. That way you know whether he really cares. It eliminates the second-guessing and anguished (doomed) attempts to read his mind. Many, many thanks – and Happy New Year!

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Lisa January 1, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I’m not sure I agree with your comments this time, Cherry…. I think you’ve missed the old-fashioned virture of saying “thanks”. I assume the man asked the girl out, arranged the date and probably paid for it. Seems to me a guy would be offended it you didn’t reach out to simply say “thanks, I had a nice time” and keep it simple. That’s not chasing a guy- that’s being gracious. Your thoughts?

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Cherry Norris January 1, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Hi Lisa,

Thanks for your comments. I’m not missing the old-fashioned virtue of saying “thanks.” I’m just advising you thank your man on the date and thank him again when he calls you back. This keeps him coming toward you. To call and thank him risks setting it up to where you’re chasing him … and you may catch him in an awkward time. Be patient, wait and if he wants you, he will call you … then you can thank him all you want!

Love, Cherry

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Bozenka December 30, 2011 at 8:51 pm

I agree 100% Cherry. Even though I’m not even 40, I was raised the old fashion way, where women were not suppose to date alone, kiss in public, God forbid loose their virginity before married LOL I don’t practice any of these nor will have my kids obey those rules either, but I do believe that women should be wined and dined and adored by the guys. So let’s not make it too easy on them 🙂

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Gail December 30, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Hi Cherry,
I agree with you. I am definately one of those women that say ” I don’t call men until there is a real relationship in bloom”. Some understand that and some don’t, but that is my practice. Love your updates. Keep them coming!!

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A December 30, 2011 at 8:03 pm

I always like your advices, Cherry! Thank you very much!

What is the polite way to handle this when the guy gave you his published book on the first lunch date? I am neutraul about him at this point.

I wish you a healthy and happy New Year!

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LeeAnn December 30, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Great advice Cherry – it’s sooooo hard to be patient but you learn volumes about who the guy is and where he’s at by letting him do the calling. Thanks for the reminder and have a great new year!

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Cherry Norris December 30, 2011 at 6:08 pm

You’re welcome, LeeAnn!

Here’s to a Happy New Year!

Love, Cherry

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Ida December 30, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Once again, Cherry, your advice is so timely! I must be a slow learner as I keep asking questions that I know the answers to deep down in my gut, but just need validation from someone I trust…turns out that is YOU! Keep your tips coming!
Just went on a fun first date last night, a blind date. I had a wonderful time even though I found I was VERY nervous. I am not always nervous, only when I’m really attracted to someone. This is also the time when I struggle most with remembering to let HIM talk. My self talk and my gut feelings go into overdrive and today I am struggling with negativity about the date.
I am going to the gym and then a bubble bath. I am entertaining friends tonight. I will NOT contact him and wait patiently for my hero, even if he is not last night’s date. (Argh!)
2012 is gonna be a GREAT year! Best wishes to you Cherry and all kindred spirits on this site. Cheers!

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Cherry Norris December 30, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Wonderful Ida!

You’re doing great! It’s fine if you were nervous on your date … Do your best to let go of any negative feelings.

Happy to hear you’re relaxing and taking care of yourself today!

Here’s to a great year and meeting your man by next Christmas 🙂

Love, Cherry

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lindsa December 30, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Hi Norris,
I like to be the man in the relationship does that mean I am doom to be alone or that i have to turn lesbian?

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Cherry Norris December 30, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Hi Lindsa,

If you want to be the man, just do the opposite of what I advise and find a cute man who’s happy to let you lead.

Love, Cherry

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Wendy December 30, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Hi Cherry: Wonderful advice, as always. Thanks for your insightful videos! Happy New Year!

Wendy

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Cherry Norris December 30, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Thanks for tuning in, Wendy!

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Diana December 30, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Cherry, your advice is the BEST. Wishing you and yours a wonderful New Year.

: ),

Diana

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Cherry Norris December 30, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Thanks, Diana! 🙂

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