When A Younger Man Asks Your True Age …

by Cherry Norris on July 9, 2013

"Cute. Young. No way."

Those were the first words I thought when I first saw my husband, Lorenzo while sailing the Amalfi Coast in Italy.

Being cute and young, I knew he could have any younger woman he wanted.

No way he would be interested in me because I was waaay too old for him … or so I thought.

Even though I look and feel younger than my age (at least I think so :)) I was certain when Lorenzo found out, he would freak out and run!

Fortunately, he didn't.

Today's video gives you a fun, fail-proof tip on what to say when a much younger man asks your true age.

You're sharp.  You look good.  You feel younger than you are.

If you're hiding your age, tune in now to see how the "age old question" affects a younger man's interest.

If you've ever dated a younger man and fretted over your age, please share your comments and story below.

And if you have a girlfriend, sista or daughter that can benefit from this video, pass it along!

Thank you so much for reading and watching.

Love,

Cherry

{ 69 comments… read them below or add one }

Donna June 5, 2017 at 6:23 am

My man is 12 years younger, I am 63. He has pursued me for years, since he was in his early 40's, while I was in another relationship.  My partner passed away last year, and he took the time afterward to be not only a gentleman, but to continue to pursue me slowly and with meaning, after a decent interval.  I finally said yes to a date and can't tell you how happy I am that I did. He is wonderful!  I have NEVER felt  the way he makes me feel. He knows my age, and doesn't care one iota. He is the most amazing man, and he thinks I am pretty amazing, too.  We are very compatible, have a lot of fun together. He makes me laugh, which is more compelling than you can imagine. I was worried at first about how he would perceive this body…it is not an issue.  Our lovemaking is the most passionate I have ever experienced in my life.  He wants to please me, and I want to please him, and we are having the best sex ever.  He makes me feel beautiful, sexy and  worthy of love in ways I never thought possible.  I have never been more comfortable with a man in my life, ever, and that is a huge gift!  I no longer worry about my age, my "older" model body.  I can be free and uninhibited with him, as I never have in my life…and it has been beyond my wildest dreams!.

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Chris May 19, 2017 at 1:32 am

Hi Cherry. I  really need your advice. I  recently joined a online dating after being single for 2 years. I  am 53 but people always guess my age as being no older than 35. I  am naturally attracted to you feel men when I  say that I  mean between the age of 40 to 50. On my profile I put my age down as 43. I  have since then met someone and we have gone out on a couple of dates and decided to start a relationship.  I am now worried about telling him how old is am. As I  get the feeling that he wouldn't want to  date a older woman even though we have decided to start a relationship.  

I  am now not sure how to tell him as I think that we are good together and I  feel like am starting our relationship on a lie and dont want to loose him due to the age differences.  Help please 

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Jennifer December 8, 2016 at 9:08 pm

btw I am 45 and look like I am in my 20's from what they have said to me. It does make me feel weird. Because I know when they come up to talk to me that I am much, much, older then them and that sucks that I have to tell them sometimes and watch them run away or start acting weird. I just give them time and see what they do.

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Jennifer December 8, 2016 at 9:00 pm

I tell men the truth. Cherry is right you can just move on if he is not intested. But I have run into men that think I am lying when I tell them my real age which I find strange. I also get a little joy out of seeing the look on their face. haha

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Telling him my age January 8, 2016 at 7:19 am

Hi Cherry,

I met a guy at work who invited me out for coffee. We're only 5 years apart, (me being the older one) but I'm often mistaken as younger. He's in his late 20s while I'm in my early 30s. Part of me thinks that I should tell him my age before I accept his invite, however, I can't help but wonder if it's even necessary or if he would even care considering he hasn't even asked my age. If he asked me directly, of course I would tell him. But until then, is it even necessary? If so, how should I bring it up?

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Holly September 21, 2015 at 11:46 pm

Cherry,

i recently locked eyes with an attractive man at a restaurant, we talked, he asked if he could take me to dinner which I said yes. He then asked me how old I am, so I turned it around and said you're never supposed to ask a woman her age and asked how old he is. He said 37 so I said 34. Well, I'm 42 going on 43 but I do look like I'm in my early thirties and act it as well. Problem is we went on that date last Thursday and it was great and we've talked a couple times since and plan to see each other when he gets back to where I live for work in a couple weeks. My question is, when do I tell him I lied about my age and how?   Holly, the liar 

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Cheryl December 13, 2014 at 3:17 am

I went to a pre cruise gathering to meet other people in the group going on the cruise. To my surprise there was a man I was intrigued with immediately. We were already into the cruise for a couple of days when he said what I wasn’t even thinking about. He said he was 47. I didn’t want to scare him away so I joked about being 48. Obviously he knew I was older than that but I never said my real age of 58. I enjoyed his company and was always happy to spend time with him. I know I had no business being attracted to him after that but I was. At the end of the cruise he hugged me like it was nobody’s business and said he didn’t want it to end. Of course I said I didn’t either. I got nervous and embarrassed then babbled like a fool. I couldn’t live the live and was afraid to tell the truth. I didn’t even give him a chance to ask for my number. I didn’t want to blindside him with the truth or put him on the spot by blurting out I was 58. I felt like I already lied to him and that is not a good way to start anything. I ended up just saying he was a good man and I enjoyed his company then walked away. I didn’t mean to hurt his pride and regret doing so by walking away. The dream world was ending and the reality was he might have thought it was too much. Worst day ever but lesson learned! Just be up front and honest in the first place!!

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Joslyn August 24, 2014 at 12:11 am

Men of any age could leave a woman for someone younger. It happens all the time with same age couples who were married young and the man is now wanting to go and sow his wild oats because he was married too young and too long and maybe had kids right away. But I would say that the older the man is when you meet him, (over 40) the more likely he is to know who he is, have more life and relationship experience, and know for sure if he wants children or not or maybe he already has them. As far as lying about age, it is amazing to me that people assume that if you "hide" your age, your hiding other things, like you're an ax murderer, or embezzled money or have a crminal history. I agree with many on here, that online, men put in an "order" like a restaraunt, and they stick to what is on paper. We are numbers obsessed, age, height and income and weight. Men lie too about hieght and income. t's different when you meet offline, then you have your charm and energy and connecttion to go on and often people end up with someone way different than what they listed online! However, when someone posts a picture of themselves that is clearly not them or 20 years ago, that's just rediculous. I wish online sites had age categories instesd of numbers like they do in many surveys, because people sure stick to their numbers and have head trips around the number. I remember living in Europe, and when I was there, it was impolite to ask a woman her age, it should be the same here and instead focus on health, connection and if two want children or not and maybe over 40 or under 40!  Sadly, we women are not comfortable sharing our age because of the stigma since the beginning of man, and I'd say the revrese, if a man is really into you, he won't care if you DIDN'T share your number! 'd be more concerned if he got all concerned that I was hiding other things because I didn't feel comfortable sharing my number! I don't care if someone lies about their age, hieght or wieght, because I'll base things on how we interact and the other important things as I understand that we live in a world where there is too much importance on numbers and those are really little things. So for me, I don't get upset with someone hiding their numbers to me as I get it. But if we date younger, it's less likely to work if he's in his 20's and 30's because so many men think they want one thing at that age, only to change their mind in their 40's, and he has so much more developing to do, as we all do in our 20's and 30's. I knew a couple where the man didn't ever know his wife's age, she was a bit older, and he didn't care to know and in the old days, our grandparents generation, I hear it was common for women not to tell their age!

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thalia July 2, 2015 at 10:37 pm

Joslyn, you are absolutely right!  What a great viewpoint you have brought to this subject!

 

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Lorrie July 12, 2014 at 12:34 am

I wish people would stop calling women cougars. I don't think we label older men with those sorts of prey epithets. Aren't the men just called bachelors? Or lucky bachelors?
Yet women are cougars, spinsters, old maids, hell hath no fury, etc. I hope our consciousness is expanding so we can at least not apply labels to ourselves. A cougar is a beautiful animal but I've yet to hear that epithet applied as a compliment to a woman. 
Thanks!

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Denise July 12, 2014 at 6:51 am

Its a double standard when it comes to men. They label women all the time and cougar is a common label for older women. And in using cougar as a label they are saying she is a hot older women they want to conquer. Its a fact we have to accept and the more we know how men think of older women the more we can protect ourselves.
Currently I have several younger men that want to date me. They are at least 25 years younger than I. Its a compliment but realistically is will go nowhere.  Many women say to date them and just have fun but what is the point. I want to get married. Why waste my time and be unavailble to meet the  man who wants to marry me. I could miss Mr. Right while I am playing with a  young boy toy Mr. Right Now.
 

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Louise December 5, 2014 at 9:09 pm

I’m also of the opinion that ‘cougar’ is a predatory, misogynistic, disgusting term for older women who date younger men. It gives the impression of a desperate woman forcing herself on semi-interested, ‘impressionable’ younger men because she ‘knows’ as one PUA website put it, that ‘she’s not the most valuable in the pack.’

Ladies, a decent younger man will treat you like the gem you are regardless of age difference (though this may prove unworkable long term as others have identified). And from what I’ve seen (and experienced), it’s usually the younger man that makes initial contact, shows interest /sets dates and pursues the so-called ‘cougar’.

@Lorrie – I think these terms, (readily taken on by many women) are invented by men to keep women submerged and ‘in their place.’

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rosalia July 11, 2014 at 7:51 pm

I never hide my age. I am 55 years old. Depending how I am dressing/make up, people have told me they thought I was 35 or the most 40. The way I figure, I am not ashame of my age, they are the ones that have to decide if they want to be with me…I might not want to be with them , hahaha!!!!

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Lorraine July 11, 2014 at 5:34 pm

I will be 64 in 2 weeks, although, most people take me to be in my early 50's, some younger. I seem to attract younger men, my last relationship (5 yrs) was with a guy 12 yrs younger than me. Ladies, believe it or not, there are alot of younger men who prefer older women. When I asked him and the other younger men I've dated since him why they prefer older woman, they all gave the same answer, in one way or another: older women know what they want out of life, they aren't as silly and bitchy as younger women, more drama free & have a "what you see is what you get" attitude in life.  
As a woman who originally was looking for a man around my own age, I've learned to appreciate a younger man, the few I've dated are full of life & zest and are alot of fun to be with. Of course there are men my age like that, but the number is dwindling. lol  It is important to remember, a younger man to me is a guy that is probably around most of your ages. lol  So when a younger guy asks your age, look him right in the eye & tell the truth, don't make an issue out of it. A woman with confidence in herself and what she does is a real turn on for a guy. Isn't it better to start off a possible realtionship with the truth, than for your lie to be discovered later on, and it will. Good luck to you all!
 

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Cherry Norris July 11, 2014 at 6:27 pm

Wonderful Lorraine!
Thanks for sharing!!
Love,
Cherry

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Elizabeth July 11, 2014 at 3:21 pm

Hello Cherry! thank you for your videos… I bought your movie and start to practice the 6 seconds smile and eye contact, so Im doing my dutty dating with positive results. I met the last weeken a guy in a supermarket  :).  Im 39 years old and just realized few weeks ago that younger guys are not out of my league.. I had this wrong perception based on my negatives  belief, thank you for your great advises you are helping to create positive beliefs about relationships and dating.
Elizabeth (your follower and fan from Mexico)
 
 

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Cherry Norris July 11, 2014 at 4:51 pm

Yay Elizabeth!
Wonderful news! Carry on!
Love,
Cherry

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Pat July 11, 2014 at 11:52 am

Cherry , I am involved with a younger man, He is overseas and we have yet to meet, but plan on that happening really soon. He is 14 years younger than I. He keeps telling me it doesnt matter, that age is just a number, it's what is in your heart that counts. Just like size or color. I guess just the thought of being older bothers me. i don't look my age people tell me all the time, i look so much younger than 71. hes 58. Yell me how to get over this feeling of worry when it desn't bother him

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Cherry Norris July 11, 2014 at 4:52 pm

Hi Pat,
If it doesn’t bother him, then let go of your old worries and beliefs and embrace it!
Love,
Cherry

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Lorraine July 31, 2014 at 12:20 am

Hi Pat!
Happy to hear of your budding romance & I think Cherry's advice is right on!  I've been doing alot of online dating and have a profile on a socialization site for a few years and have met some very nice guys, but my prince charming hasn't arrived yet.
I've also encountered so many scammers out there, I've become very good at spotting them. There was something you said that jumped out at me about he's working overseas & you haven't met yet, but will soon. Most Nigerian scammers follow a script and putting off meeting because they're out of the country is large part of their script. They also immediately begin telling you how amazingly beautiful you are, and age means nothing, nor does distance. They usually have some hard luck story and begin asking for money or to have checks cashed for them.
I so sincerely hope my suspicions are wrong & this all works out for you. I just felt compelled to alert you, as I've done with many other unsuspecting women. I've seen so many kind, caring women get scammed out of money, & if not money, their emotions & get really hurt. These guys are such creeps, I'm so happy every time I get one of their profiles deleted, but like roaches, they'll be back. I just like making their scamming a little difficult for them.
Always remember, you are the commodity, if I guy wants to meet you, he'll climb mountains to get there. I wish all the best for you, just please be careful, we gals gotta stick together & watch out for each other!  Lorraine
 

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Elaine June 7, 2014 at 4:12 pm

Hi Cherry
I'm 66 and I've just been dumped by a 61 year old who told me my age works against me. He said he couldn't go through with it. I feel so unwanted. I wish I could find someone of any age let alone younger!
Elaine

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Tina July 12, 2014 at 5:10 pm

Elaine, I know your question is for Cherry, but … 5 years is nothing! That 61 year old man is a JERK who wants a younger woman because he can't face his own age. If you are ever unfortunate enough to run into him, tell him his shallowness works against him. LOL
Best wishes with a better man!
Tina

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rosemary March 12, 2017 at 3:49 pm

so sorry, try to get over it. He was not worth it. as the other commenter said 5 years is nothing. 

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Iris June 1, 2014 at 11:23 pm

I am in a tough spot. I'm dating a man 14 years younger. I look 10 years younger than I am. I led him to believe I am the age I look. It's been a year and it's getting serious. How do I tell him now. I'm 45 he is 31. He believes I am around 35.

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Cherry Norris June 2, 2014 at 5:12 pm

Hi Iris,
If a man is into you, he won’t care how old you are. He may concern you didn’t tell him the truth, but he won’t care about your age.
Love,
Cherry

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Iris June 2, 2014 at 6:28 pm

Ok next question, how do I tell him?

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laurie July 11, 2014 at 2:44 pm

I think  a lead-in about goals and dreams would be a good start. Find out if he wants to father children.  You may have to state that you can't  have biological kids but would love to adopt (or not)

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Sarah July 12, 2014 at 6:25 pm

I disagree.  In a perfect world, if a man is in to you he won't care about your age.  However, this is not a perfect world.  A man may be into you, in-love with, and think you are the greatest invention since "sliced bread," but if he desires children of his own and is not open to adoption or fostering, "your man" will care about his woman's age.
Cherry's man didn't want children, so the fact that Cherry is ten years older didn't matter.
A woman's age is her fertility.  A man's who desires a family desires a fertile woman.

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Cherry Norris July 13, 2014 at 6:20 am

Actually, Sarah, my husband wanted 2-3 children.  For me this was a non-negotiable and I told him he was free to leave me to meet another woman who would give him children.  Fortunately, he chose me over the "unborn" children so we're still together. 

Some men will prioritize being with a woman over having children.  Mine did.

Love,

Cherry

 

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Lucy January 22, 2014 at 7:05 am

Cherry please gelp!!! need some advise!!!!!!

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Bity January 13, 2014 at 5:53 pm

Cherry, thanks for your great and easy videos (helps not to take things too seriously!). A handsome and wonderful man 21 years my junior joined our office as an intern. There was immediate attraction on my part and flirting on his. We have been doing a relationship 'dance' for almost five months (with me feeling very self conscious of my age). When I got tired of the games thinking he wasn't interested I let go and stopped started creating distance – which meant waving instead of standing my his desk to chat.
He then asked me to review his CV, thanked me profusely for my advice and took me out to a great lunch (he only receives a stipend and talks about how he needs to make money soon). Anyway, I got a great new job (that I was least expecting) and he was the one I first told the good news after our lunch. He called for a coffee in the office kitchen to congratulate me. I mentioned (I shouldn't have) that I might make a huge salary – stated a figure and he raised his eyebrows in suprise. Later, he asked if I could look at a job application letter.
That was last week. He did not send the letter and today he greeted me cooly – barely saying anything. It was the driest interaction we have ever had. Looks like my job killed any potential for a relationship. Anyway, am feeling fed up of the whole thing but also feeling badly cause I really liked him and know he liked me.
What should I do?
regards, Bity

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SusanB November 26, 2013 at 9:48 pm

I met a younger man by 6 years online.  Most people think I look like I'm in my early 40's.   I was 51, he was 45 – very good looking, and a bit of a cocky bad boy.  Not usually my type but I had been alone for a long time and I fell for him.   It seemed that the age difference was not a big deal for him but I knew he was looking for women 35-51.  So I was at the tail end of the upper limits for him.  It did not work out, long story, and I am still trying to get over it.  I do think that the age question depends on the man but it is very true that in the online dating world, most men are looking for younger women.  
 
The experience did sour me a bit and I would prefer to find a man within a few years of my age preferably right around the same age.  I am staying optimistic but someday it will happen!

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Constance September 21, 2013 at 10:19 am

I was asked that question by another guy in front of another guy I kind of find attractive. I didn't want to answer him but I did anyway. I'm 31. We were at a work Happy Hour. The attractive guy was shocked and I was shocked by his response. It was as if he was disappointed and so was I. I didn't look at him though. I can't look at him. I figured he'd know that I was liking him. There were about 20 of us at Happy Hour so listening to other conversations was a way out. 
 
Either way, I am just going to hold on to him as a secret crush – surely there will be other guys around. 

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Val July 7, 2013 at 5:25 pm

I'm 55 and have been attracting men in their 40's, some very hot and handsome.  Wowza!  Nice ego boost for me, eh?  the guy I'm seeing now is 49 – we met the old fashioned way, off line. 😀  One day he was whining about being 50 this year and I teased him about it, so he asked me how old I am.  I told him. He gasped and looked at me with amazement and awe, and said:  Wow!  I've ALWAYS wanted to date an older woman!"  When I asked him why, he said that older women were classy, smart, had more life experience, more to bring to the relationship…  What a fabulous response to this question, and now I feel even more attractive.  Thanks Cherry!  LOVE your work – keep it up!

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Cherry Norris July 7, 2013 at 9:40 pm

Thanks Val!
Great story 🙂
Love, Cherry

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lola May 2, 2013 at 4:50 am

I like younger guys because I have more in common with them !!! heehhe Im 34 and most men think Im 22 or 23, I find that when I tell my age they are in "shock!". well, sadly, age is an issue for a lot of men, specially because we live in a patriarchy, but one HAS to believe, a man for me could only be one who realizes that most limitations are lies, I am a deep person and I deserve someone as deep as I am, no pretty boy who believes in stereotypes, no dirty old man looking 4 a sex toy, just true love and a sharing experience, I believe is possible !! and if is not then at least am not the one with the problem 🙂

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Dina March 1, 2013 at 5:39 pm

Hi cherry,
i met someone younger than me by 8 years on a trip, i don't know what's the 6-seconds smile technique, but we had eye contact fo the whole day before he introduced him self to me.
then we spent a whole night on board till the next mourning talking and laughing, he expected that i'm older than him but he thought it's only 2 years, but wheb he knew the truth he got chocked and didn't believe it (i'm 30 years old and he's 22 years  old)
we're friends, didn't move further, but i believe that there's something we both feel it but can't say anything.
i've to say that i was always considering the younger men as my young brother, it's the first time that i meet a younger man and deal with him as my true love.
i'm so confused, i don't know what to do, i can't imagine what will happen to me if he engaged to another girl.
thank you Cherry for yr videos 🙂

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Judith Warren February 4, 2013 at 3:33 am

I'm 71 but look and feel 50. My last boyfriend was 12 years younger; however, he did marry a woman 28 years younger than me. I try to avoid the subject with a smille. I'd love a disarming line. There is far too much emphasis on age  and it is stopping me from on line dating. If i told my real age, the one 90 year old on the website would contact me!
Judi

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Peggy January 22, 2013 at 1:45 am

Hi Cherry  –
This was a GREAT video.  Thanks for this. 
I know that I have personally felt that age for me is a deal breaker.  I wanted to have "control" over that….why would someone 10 years younger want me?  What happens when I'm 65 and he's 55? 
A relationship coach (Kavita) told me to quit putting limitations on the universe and what it has plans for you.  Just go with the flow, incluidng age.
I think that this is awesome that you re-iterate this in your video….also the 6-second smile.  The one time I tried that, I met this awesome guy in the grocery store, but he never asked for my phone number.  I did not talk to him until he made contact with me, but the "feeling" of him connecting with me through just a smile, made me a believer for sure.  We shared a brief conversation where I verified he was single, but I have never seen him again.  However, the six-second smile does work!!
Thanks for all your fabulous advice, Cherry.
I appreciate it.
Peggy 🙂

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Sophia January 19, 2013 at 9:16 pm

Hi Everyone!
I tend to attract younger men and have found it's very important to be upfront about age and circumstances for both parties.  Ther are lots of young ones looking for MILF'S or specific sexual experiences, so you must proceed cauticously if a long term relationship is what you seek.
Make sure he acts as the man regardless his age: let him call, make the dates, see if he shows up for you.  If he seems sincere with long term interest and is a good match for you – go for it!  And it's so true what Cheryy said, "Your man won't care about your age." It's a great way to weed out men who aren't your man.
I've had good experiences and not so good experiences with younger men as I have with men of any age.
Best wishes to all.
 

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Monica January 19, 2013 at 2:44 pm

My matchmaker has been telling me that men are very sensitive about women's age.
I am 52 years old and I have been working with this matchmaker since I was 49 who has introduced me to 40+ men so far. I know that in my profile, they indicated my age as in the 40s. Probably they can use the excuse that they forgot to update it.
I have been dating a  sweet German man who is a year younger for about 3 months now. Recently he asked about my age not so subtlely by asking my Chinese zodiac sign (I am Chinese by the way). I just told him my sign and asked him for his (actually I already knew as I saw his birthdate on his driver's license). We then left it as it is and continue to have wonderful dates. 

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Cas January 19, 2013 at 7:38 am

Hi Cherry,
Thank you for bringing up this topic.  I am 38 and the man that I am slowly becoming involved with is 23.  We have known one another for a year now, and he is recently available. It all just sort of happened, without plan or forethought.  We have yet to even talk about our age difference, but he knows how old I am, and did when we met.  
He is very young in number, yet is an old soul. I am wise and have an old soul, yet am a kid at heart. I rarely feel that age is anything but a number when we talk.  I believe that a lot of it is mental on my part.  Do you have any thoughts for me? 
Sincerely,
Cas

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Toni January 19, 2013 at 2:37 am

I think it's really important to find out early on if he wants kids. Some guys just want to use older women for the sex, because it's an exciting conquest, but they really want a younger woman to start a family with. That's what happened to me. I have dated men both older and younger than myself and it really just comes down to the person and your chemistry with him. My boyfriend who was 21 years older than me had the energy of guys half his age, but was way more interesting (he made "the most interesting man" look positively boring).  

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Donna January 18, 2013 at 8:23 pm

Hi Cherry, Love your videos! Love your comment that age won't matter to "YOUR man." I think I'll put my search feature for dating services a little younger than I have been (which is 9 years). I'm also young-looking/feeling with more energy than some 20-year-olds. I was at a singles dance recently and all the young men, 20-30 were asking me to dance because I could keep up with them, ha ha. One said to me, "Just watching you makes me tired." I'm 54. I don't want to date a 20-year-old, but 40 is probably fine (as long as he doesn't want babies. I'm actually open to adopting an older child, and of course any he already has is great, and I have two myself). I am setting my sights high this time, not settling for anything less than my "must have" list, which really isn't outrageous, but I have "settled" in the past. Age doens't really matter to me but good health and vibrant/youthful energy does. (And to Carol, if it's important to date a man the same age or older, then I hope you don't "settle" either! We each need to figure out what's right for us and stick with it!). Best wishes to everyone on your journey! 

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Cherry Norris January 18, 2013 at 8:34 pm

You go, Donna! I LOVE it 🙂

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Kimberley January 31, 2013 at 12:19 am

i love it too :o)

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Kim January 18, 2013 at 7:10 pm

Bernadette and Trudy,
Obviously I can't speak for Cherry re: your question about listing your age on the online dating sites, but Cherry clearly stated in her video that if someone asks you, tell them. They'll find out eventually. So yes, if the dating site requires you to include your age, be honest — and proud! (Who wants to date a liar? OK, there are some out there who do. That's just not for me, though.) You'll see many men your age (online) who list their age and say they are looking for a woman who's 20+years younger. At least they're honest, but I call "foul" on that; don't waste your time on them. (I emailed a guy once and asked, "Who do you think you are?" lol) Stick with the guys who want women your age. Honesty is always the best policy! Have fun!

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Cherry Norris January 18, 2013 at 8:34 pm

Excellent, Kim! Thanks!!

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Carol January 18, 2013 at 7:01 pm

Well, my question was placed at the wrong place, and I cant take it back. I had an admirer that was madly in love with me, hw was 33yrs and I was 45yrs. I told him he was too young, and he was crushed. I have had several younger men being attracted to me, but I do not date younger men, maybe 1 or 2 yrs younger but not more.

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Kia Ulrike January 18, 2013 at 6:53 pm

I agree! Openness and authenticity are a turn on! Plus, men die earlier , so that way there is a chance we have them around as long as we are! Btw, are you in Europe right now? Looking at the 6.20 pm of your comment, when it is only 12.50 here, haha. Or maybe you time travel. 😉 Thanks dear. Much love!

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Trudy January 18, 2013 at 6:04 pm

Hi Cherry,
I am get hit on by more young men also.  I feel & look much younger so I think I would do better with someone 10 years younger.  I would love to hear your answer to Bernadette's question too!  Thank you!

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Carol January 18, 2013 at 5:42 pm

Hey Cherry: I have been watching your vedios, and think they are very informative yet to the point. My question is : I met a man on line, and thinks he is awesome, he gave me his number and ask me to call him the first night we made contact, something he said he does not normally do. We spoke, he was very humorous and had me laughing. He said my accent and voice turned him on. We text mostly, the last time we spoke he was beside himself and said he wanted me, and if I would sleep with him. I told him I wanted him too, but I would only sleep with him in the context of a relationship. I am seperated but not yet divorced. He said he cannot give his heart to someone who is married even though I told him the process has started. I miss him and think about him all the time. Should I try to win his heart or just leave him alone?

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Bernadette January 18, 2013 at 4:53 pm

Great advice, Cherry. This question has frustrated me for a long time. I find that I am attracted by a man's energy and often have no idea how old or young he is. Do you feel the same about listing your age on the online dating sites? Thank you. 🙂

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LeeAnn January 18, 2013 at 4:43 pm

I'm 44 and get hit on by younger men all the time. I always say my age – I'm proud to look this good at my age!!
 

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Jackie January 18, 2013 at 3:59 pm

Great video!! I'm in my late 40's and I also attract younger men cause of my energy.  I do have a fear of it being a deal breaker, so I don't offer my age…. it's not important to me.  But lately I have discovered that my resisting my age is causing a conflict within myself… I am not truly accepting who I am.  This came to my awareness the last time someone asked me my age and I had such a strong reaction about telling him.  The next day I found him and told him.  If I don't accept myself, age and all… how can I except anyone else to?
And you're totally right, if my age is a deal breaker, then he isn't the man for me.  Why waste any more time?
Love your videos… very fun! <3

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Cherry Norris January 18, 2013 at 6:19 pm

Great awareness, Jackie! Your man will love you for who you are regardless of age 🙂

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Janise January 21, 2013 at 9:37 pm

Most men will say age doesn't matter because it's cool to have sex with a cougar these days. The question is does age matter to them long term because for a fling or short term relationship age doesn't matter to anyone as long as there is an attraction for the time being….
The thing is if a younger guy wants kids then age really does matter. He may not want kids for 5 or 10 years if he is young and when that time comes an older woman may be too old for kids on his time frame.  But if a younger guy doesn't ever want kids then age shouldn't matter. The thing here is he may change his mind about having kids and then you are dumped for your age.
 Going too young with a guy may be great for some years but when you turn 70 and he is 50 you will most likely be dumped. Seen it a hundred times! Remember Demi Moore at 50 who is still super hot, dumped by her husband Ashton Kutcher, 16 years younger, for a girl in her 20's?!… Its a reality girls most, not all, but most men go younger as they get older. I have younger men ask me out all the time but as I get to know them most are not as mature as I would like them to be and most like the thrill of an older woman rather than the thrill of me personally. It's an ego thing with many younger guys to get with an older woman. Just be aware of his true motives if you decide to date younger, would be my advice.  Good Ick gals! 🙂 

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Janise January 21, 2013 at 9:40 pm

I meant "Good Luck gals!" … (sorry type O on the iPad….)

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Kimberley January 31, 2013 at 12:11 am

Good points about the younger men, older women relationship.  I'm always attracting the younger guy.  This has never happen to me so keeping your points in mind (if it does happen) will be a help.
 
Kim

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Kimberley January 31, 2013 at 12:12 am

I'm sorry.  I meant, I attract the older guy. 

sona July 13, 2014 at 4:22 pm

to Janise:   I read a few of your coments and i must say, that perhaps you got a very bad experience with a young men. You are right only about a half. Yes, there is a risk to be  a age/broker, but the other half is about – love, life experience, clear in mind, clear in past and more. And believe me, a younger men love it. Most of the reason why a yonger men are atracted to the older women is: we know what we want, we have a some past, we are not hysterical as the young girls are, they dont need to listen all the time about fashion, make-up, hair, stupid friends, we can keep a smart and interesting conversation, we offer a lot of freedom for them, we are not jalously, because we know how old we are, we take care about us, we have more energy as the younger has, we are not lazy to do the things and there is more diffrencese between young and old "girl" If you stop to take care about your life,cos you think like "eh i do not care, i have a guy, and he loves me" than it is the big mistake the women can do and the first reason for them to leave you. Most of those guy dump you for a younger but later they will find again the older… 

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Dgd January 18, 2013 at 2:35 pm

This is harder than it sounds. I just turned 40 and dont look it at all. I just say “old enough” now and hope they don’t push it. I recently fell hard for a guy/friend who is 28. He thinks im 39 because of a profile I showed him once. He won’t ask. However even at 39 he can’t get past the age thing. He said if I were closer to his age we would be dating. We have all the important pieces for a solid healthy relationship. But now I have to figure out how to get over him and maybe be his friend again. It’s tough when the only thing separating you is a number. If this question were off the table people would be much happier. I mean, in 10 years there is no guarantee he won’t look older than I do. Rejection on this level is tough. Age shouldn’t matter for two adults. I bet most guys dont have a problem with this question. Very sad.

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Cherry Norris January 18, 2013 at 6:21 pm

It is sad your age is a deal breaker for this man … however it won’t be for YOUR man! Keep smiling and meeting new men!

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MJ January 18, 2013 at 8:58 pm

I have to agree with you Dgd, it is very sad when "a number" comes between two people who seem so right for each other but have to figure out how to be "just friends", as this has recently happened to me as well. You're not the only one. The toughest part is that he knew my age going into it, I'm 35 and he's 23, and he still wanted to date me. He said it didn't bother him, as the last two women he'd dated were the same age. He found me to be the most sexy, beautiful, and intelligent woman he'd ever met. We both felt like we were perfect for each other in every way. He even invited me out of state to meet his family, but we never made it that far. I fell hard for him as well though. As a matter of fact, I don't think I'll ever meet another man that I will have such a deep, magical emotional/physical connection with or love more.
This actually became the problem… as he realized he was falling in love with me "that number" came back into his mind and he broke it off with me because he said he just couldn't see himself married to a woman that age and wanted to wait until he was at least 30 to have kids. He said he just couldn't picture me starting a family in my mid-40's. It broke my heart as I would've done anything to spend my life with this man, including waiting until my mid-40's to start our family, but he said that he was stubborn about this one thing and had to set me free before he fell even more deeply in love with me and couldn't leave. I can't even begin to express how much it breaks my heart. Maybe you are lucky your man rejected you sooner, I don't know if I agree that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have shared loved at all. I do hope that you find someone who is wonderful and perfect for you. I very much hope that this can happen more than once in each of our lifetimes! Much love, MJ
 

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Janise July 11, 2014 at 6:25 pm

Its not just a number ladies when you get into your 40's.  A much younger man will have fun dating you but for long term commitment when he may want to have children & your age is a deal breaker. Its risky to have children after 45 for you and the baby and selfish as well. Many late parents are dead before their children grow up and finish college and then they are orphaned. I am one of these children. By 20yrs old by parents were dead at 70. I have had no family for 30 years now and it sucks. If I had younger parents I could have had many joyus holidays with a familly instead of always being alone. People don't think of the kids being parentless as young adults when they have kids later in life.
I digressed, sorry…. so if a guy is 30 and you are 40 or 45 he may not be ready for kids until he is 40-45 and then you will  be 50-55 and way too old to have children with him. If he wants more than one child then its too late.  Most men don't want to adopt but they want to have their own children.

Face the music ladies. Don't go too younger only to have the guy dump you because he wants to start a family of his own and you can't provide it for him. You'll end up like Demi Moore only to have Ashton Kutcher, 16 yrs younger, leave you for a younger woman. Demi was devastated so much she ended up in a clinic! She didn't see it coming.
Don't set yourself up for heartbreak. The minute you know there is an age gap stop it right there. Tell them you could be their mother and that will turn them off of you.  Yes you can have fun for awhile but most likely you get emotionally involved and attached only to get dumped for a younger woman.  I have seen it a hundred times.
Of course many younger men will say age doesn't matter. They are not thinking long term at the time. They are only thinking of bedding that "Older Woman". Their ego loves to know they can handle a woman with sexual experience. They can brag to their friends or just relish in their conquest.  It is a turn on for men to be with older women but most only think of it as a short term thing until they want to get married and have a family. … I'd say no more than 10 years gap. Any more than that you are settting yourself up for heartbreak down the road.
 
As women our marketability gets less as we age. If you want to land a great guy don't waste your time with someone who will date you for 3,4 ,10 years only to dump you for someone younger when they are ready to settle down at which then leaves you 10 years older and less marketable to a man.
At that point you'd have to go older than yourself to be younger than him. And who wants to date or marry an old fart because no one else younger will marry you now because you wasted your time on men who just wanted to "just" have fun with that "older woman" .
There is an age when the body's aging accelerates much faster than when you were in your late 40's. Estrogen drops and so does your skin. You will start to look much older than you are even though currently you are looking younger than your age. A much younger man will no longer be attracted to a woman who looks like his grandmother in addition to you no longer being able to give him babies.
If you just want to have fun go for  the younger guys but for long term I wouldn't set your heart on him sticking around long term if he wants family.  Men just don't think that far ahead when meeting someone new.

So its not just a number for women but it is just a  number for men because they don't have a ticking clock like we do. Men can have children at any age. Women can't.
  Most men once they hit 50 go younger if they are single or newly divorced. Face the reality ladies. Most relationship mentors will tell you to go for the  young ones but they don't tell you the truth as I did here. I tell you the truth. Stick in your age bracket or no younger than 8-10 years.
Good luck ladies & think with your head as well as your heart.

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Olga October 30, 2014 at 5:52 pm

I am truly sorry that Janice’s parents died at 70 and that she has no family left. But I have to point out that nobody on earth can promise you that they would stay in your life as long as you want to have them around.
Many people lose their parents for reasons that have nothing whatsoever to do with age: illness, tragic accidents, divorce / estrangement, etc. Perhaps fertility issues prevented conception in earlier life, and the unfortunate couple was left with a choice between a late baby or none at all.
At any rate, it is extremely unfortunate for anybody to die at just 70 as this is hardly advanced old age. In my family women typically live to be 90-95. My father’s aunt married a man 10 years her junior, who died of a heart-attack aged 60, leaving her widowed for the last 20+ years of her life.

The most important point of all is this: not every relationship – age-appropriate or not – is meant to last forever. Younger women tend to put pressure on men to commit FOREVER, but the fact is that he cannot possibly predict what he might feel/want/need in the future, any more that you could promise him that your feelings for him won’t ever change. Take a look at marriages and relationships around you, and then ask yourself: can I honestly promise my partner that I would love him for the rest of my life as much as I do today?

There is nowhere near enough love in this world and true love is never wasted. Some day when you’re lying on your death-bed you’ll be wishing you’d spent your only life following your own heart, instead of collective prejudice.

Ziji January 18, 2013 at 1:49 pm

Can you say?   "I'm 66.  The women in my family live to their mid-nineties or more."  🙂

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Cherry Norris January 18, 2013 at 6:20 pm

Love it Ziji! Your man will too 🙂

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RA October 16, 2014 at 3:52 am

I love it. I’m having a hard time at 64. I FEEL 35! I’m in shape and I guess attractive. I have a good attitude. I guess I just have to be patient and hope for that younger man to come along.

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