"Cute. Young. No way."
Those were the first words I thought when I first saw my husband, Lorenzo while sailing the Amalfi Coast in Italy.
Being cute and young, I knew he could have any younger woman he wanted.
No way he would be interested in me because I was waaay too old for him … or so I thought.
Even though I look and feel younger than my age (at least I think so 
) I was certain when Lorenzo found out, he would freak out and run!
Fortunately, he didn't.
Today's video gives you a fun, fail-proof tip on what to say when a much younger man asks your true age.
You're sharp. You look good. You feel younger than you are.
If you're hiding your age, tune in now to see how the "age old question" affects a younger man's interest.
If you've ever dated a younger man and fretted over your age, please share your comments and story below.
And if you have a girlfriend, sista or daughter that can benefit from this video, pass it along!
Thank you so much for reading and watching.
Love,
Cherry
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
Can you say? "I'm 66. The women in my family live to their mid-nineties or more." :)
Love it Ziji! Your man will too
This is harder than it sounds. I just turned 40 and dont look it at all. I just say “old enough” now and hope they don’t push it. I recently fell hard for a guy/friend who is 28. He thinks im 39 because of a profile I showed him once. He won’t ask. However even at 39 he can’t get past the age thing. He said if I were closer to his age we would be dating. We have all the important pieces for a solid healthy relationship. But now I have to figure out how to get over him and maybe be his friend again. It’s tough when the only thing separating you is a number. If this question were off the table people would be much happier. I mean, in 10 years there is no guarantee he won’t look older than I do. Rejection on this level is tough. Age shouldn’t matter for two adults. I bet most guys dont have a problem with this question. Very sad.
It is sad your age is a deal breaker for this man … however it won’t be for YOUR man! Keep smiling and meeting new men!
I have to agree with you Dgd, it is very sad when "a number" comes between two people who seem so right for each other but have to figure out how to be "just friends", as this has recently happened to me as well. You're not the only one. The toughest part is that he knew my age going into it, I'm 35 and he's 23, and he still wanted to date me. He said it didn't bother him, as the last two women he'd dated were the same age. He found me to be the most sexy, beautiful, and intelligent woman he'd ever met. We both felt like we were perfect for each other in every way. He even invited me out of state to meet his family, but we never made it that far. I fell hard for him as well though. As a matter of fact, I don't think I'll ever meet another man that I will have such a deep, magical emotional/physical connection with or love more.
This actually became the problem… as he realized he was falling in love with me "that number" came back into his mind and he broke it off with me because he said he just couldn't see himself married to a woman that age and wanted to wait until he was at least 30 to have kids. He said he just couldn't picture me starting a family in my mid-40's. It broke my heart as I would've done anything to spend my life with this man, including waiting until my mid-40's to start our family, but he said that he was stubborn about this one thing and had to set me free before he fell even more deeply in love with me and couldn't leave. I can't even begin to express how much it breaks my heart. Maybe you are lucky your man rejected you sooner, I don't know if I agree that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have shared loved at all. I do hope that you find someone who is wonderful and perfect for you. I very much hope that this can happen more than once in each of our lifetimes! Much love, MJ
Great video!! I'm in my late 40's and I also attract younger men cause of my energy. I do have a fear of it being a deal breaker, so I don't offer my age…. it's not important to me. But lately I have discovered that my resisting my age is causing a conflict within myself… I am not truly accepting who I am. This came to my awareness the last time someone asked me my age and I had such a strong reaction about telling him. The next day I found him and told him. If I don't accept myself, age and all… how can I except anyone else to?
And you're totally right, if my age is a deal breaker, then he isn't the man for me. Why waste any more time?
Love your videos… very fun! <3
Great awareness, Jackie! Your man will love you for who you are regardless of age
Most men will say age doesn't matter because it's cool to have sex with a cougar these days. The question is does age matter to them long term because for a fling or short term relationship age doesn't matter to anyone as long as there is an attraction for the time being….
The thing is if a younger guy wants kids then age really does matter. He may not want kids for 5 or 10 years if he is young and when that time comes an older woman may be too old for kids on his time frame. But if a younger guy doesn't ever want kids then age shouldn't matter. The thing here is he may change his mind about having kids and then you are dumped for your age.
Going too young with a guy may be great for some years but when you turn 70 and he is 50 you will most likely be dumped. Seen it a hundred times! Remember Demi Moore at 50 who is still super hot, dumped by her husband Ashton Kutcher, 16 years younger, for a girl in her 20's?!… Its a reality girls most, not all, but most men go younger as they get older. I have younger men ask me out all the time but as I get to know them most are not as mature as I would like them to be and most like the thrill of an older woman rather than the thrill of me personally. It's an ego thing with many younger guys to get with an older woman. Just be aware of his true motives if you decide to date younger, would be my advice. Good Ick gals!
I meant "Good Luck gals!" … (sorry type O on the iPad….)
Good points about the younger men, older women relationship. I'm always attracting the younger guy. This has never happen to me so keeping your points in mind (if it does happen) will be a help.
Kim
I'm sorry. I meant, I attract the older guy.
I'm 44 and get hit on by younger men all the time. I always say my age – I'm proud to look this good at my age!!
Great advice, Cherry. This question has frustrated me for a long time. I find that I am attracted by a man's energy and often have no idea how old or young he is. Do you feel the same about listing your age on the online dating sites? Thank you.
Hey Cherry: I have been watching your vedios, and think they are very informative yet to the point. My question is : I met a man on line, and thinks he is awesome, he gave me his number and ask me to call him the first night we made contact, something he said he does not normally do. We spoke, he was very humorous and had me laughing. He said my accent and voice turned him on. We text mostly, the last time we spoke he was beside himself and said he wanted me, and if I would sleep with him. I told him I wanted him too, but I would only sleep with him in the context of a relationship. I am seperated but not yet divorced. He said he cannot give his heart to someone who is married even though I told him the process has started. I miss him and think about him all the time. Should I try to win his heart or just leave him alone?
Hi Cherry,
I am get hit on by more young men also. I feel & look much younger so I think I would do better with someone 10 years younger. I would love to hear your answer to Bernadette's question too! Thank you!
I agree! Openness and authenticity are a turn on! Plus, men die earlier , so that way there is a chance we have them around as long as we are! Btw, are you in Europe right now? Looking at the 6.20 pm of your comment, when it is only 12.50 here, haha. Or maybe you time travel.
Thanks dear. Much love!
Well, my question was placed at the wrong place, and I cant take it back. I had an admirer that was madly in love with me, hw was 33yrs and I was 45yrs. I told him he was too young, and he was crushed. I have had several younger men being attracted to me, but I do not date younger men, maybe 1 or 2 yrs younger but not more.
Bernadette and Trudy,
Obviously I can't speak for Cherry re: your question about listing your age on the online dating sites, but Cherry clearly stated in her video that if someone asks you, tell them. They'll find out eventually. So yes, if the dating site requires you to include your age, be honest — and proud! (Who wants to date a liar? OK, there are some out there who do. That's just not for me, though.) You'll see many men your age (online) who list their age and say they are looking for a woman who's 20+years younger. At least they're honest, but I call "foul" on that; don't waste your time on them. (I emailed a guy once and asked, "Who do you think you are?" lol) Stick with the guys who want women your age. Honesty is always the best policy! Have fun!
Excellent, Kim! Thanks!!
Hi Cherry, Love your videos! Love your comment that age won't matter to "YOUR man." I think I'll put my search feature for dating services a little younger than I have been (which is 9 years). I'm also young-looking/feeling with more energy than some 20-year-olds. I was at a singles dance recently and all the young men, 20-30 were asking me to dance because I could keep up with them, ha ha. One said to me, "Just watching you makes me tired." I'm 54. I don't want to date a 20-year-old, but 40 is probably fine (as long as he doesn't want babies. I'm actually open to adopting an older child, and of course any he already has is great, and I have two myself). I am setting my sights high this time, not settling for anything less than my "must have" list, which really isn't outrageous, but I have "settled" in the past. Age doens't really matter to me but good health and vibrant/youthful energy does. (And to Carol, if it's important to date a man the same age or older, then I hope you don't "settle" either! We each need to figure out what's right for us and stick with it!). Best wishes to everyone on your journey!
You go, Donna! I LOVE it
i love it too
)
I think it's really important to find out early on if he wants kids. Some guys just want to use older women for the sex, because it's an exciting conquest, but they really want a younger woman to start a family with. That's what happened to me. I have dated men both older and younger than myself and it really just comes down to the person and your chemistry with him. My boyfriend who was 21 years older than me had the energy of guys half his age, but was way more interesting (he made "the most interesting man" look positively boring).
Hi Cherry,
Thank you for bringing up this topic. I am 38 and the man that I am slowly becoming involved with is 23. We have known one another for a year now, and he is recently available. It all just sort of happened, without plan or forethought. We have yet to even talk about our age difference, but he knows how old I am, and did when we met.
He is very young in number, yet is an old soul. I am wise and have an old soul, yet am a kid at heart. I rarely feel that age is anything but a number when we talk. I believe that a lot of it is mental on my part. Do you have any thoughts for me?
Sincerely,
Cas
My matchmaker has been telling me that men are very sensitive about women's age.
I am 52 years old and I have been working with this matchmaker since I was 49 who has introduced me to 40+ men so far. I know that in my profile, they indicated my age as in the 40s. Probably they can use the excuse that they forgot to update it.
I have been dating a sweet German man who is a year younger for about 3 months now. Recently he asked about my age not so subtlely by asking my Chinese zodiac sign (I am Chinese by the way). I just told him my sign and asked him for his (actually I already knew as I saw his birthdate on his driver's license). We then left it as it is and continue to have wonderful dates.
Hi Everyone!
I tend to attract younger men and have found it's very important to be upfront about age and circumstances for both parties. Ther are lots of young ones looking for MILF'S or specific sexual experiences, so you must proceed cauticously if a long term relationship is what you seek.
Make sure he acts as the man regardless his age: let him call, make the dates, see if he shows up for you. If he seems sincere with long term interest and is a good match for you – go for it! And it's so true what Cheryy said, "Your man won't care about your age." It's a great way to weed out men who aren't your man.
I've had good experiences and not so good experiences with younger men as I have with men of any age.
Best wishes to all.
Hi Cherry -
This was a GREAT video. Thanks for this.
I know that I have personally felt that age for me is a deal breaker. I wanted to have "control" over that….why would someone 10 years younger want me? What happens when I'm 65 and he's 55?
A relationship coach (Kavita) told me to quit putting limitations on the universe and what it has plans for you. Just go with the flow, incluidng age.
I think that this is awesome that you re-iterate this in your video….also the 6-second smile. The one time I tried that, I met this awesome guy in the grocery store, but he never asked for my phone number. I did not talk to him until he made contact with me, but the "feeling" of him connecting with me through just a smile, made me a believer for sure. We shared a brief conversation where I verified he was single, but I have never seen him again. However, the six-second smile does work!!
Thanks for all your fabulous advice, Cherry.
I appreciate it.
Peggy
I'm 71 but look and feel 50. My last boyfriend was 12 years younger; however, he did marry a woman 28 years younger than me. I try to avoid the subject with a smille. I'd love a disarming line. There is far too much emphasis on age and it is stopping me from on line dating. If i told my real age, the one 90 year old on the website would contact me!
Judi
Hi cherry,
i met someone younger than me by 8 years on a trip, i don't know what's the 6-seconds smile technique, but we had eye contact fo the whole day before he introduced him self to me.
then we spent a whole night on board till the next mourning talking and laughing, he expected that i'm older than him but he thought it's only 2 years, but wheb he knew the truth he got chocked and didn't believe it (i'm 30 years old and he's 22 years old)
we're friends, didn't move further, but i believe that there's something we both feel it but can't say anything.
i've to say that i was always considering the younger men as my young brother, it's the first time that i meet a younger man and deal with him as my true love.
i'm so confused, i don't know what to do, i can't imagine what will happen to me if he engaged to another girl.
thank you Cherry for yr videos
I like younger guys because I have more in common with them !!! heehhe Im 34 and most men think Im 22 or 23, I find that when I tell my age they are in "shock!". well, sadly, age is an issue for a lot of men, specially because we live in a patriarchy, but one HAS to believe, a man for me could only be one who realizes that most limitations are lies, I am a deep person and I deserve someone as deep as I am, no pretty boy who believes in stereotypes, no dirty old man looking 4 a sex toy, just true love and a sharing experience, I believe is possible !! and if is not then at least am not the one with the problem