When He Makes An OUTRAGEOUS Proposal!

by Cherry Norris on January 7, 2016

He said "What?!?!?"

But … you don't even know each other!

You've only seen him TWICE in your life!

Whatha faawk is he thinking?

Why would he ask such a thing?

You like him and all, but his proposal is SOOOO outrageous it nearly kills the romance!

Today's video gets right to the point … like some men who barely know you … and gives you a fun, fail-proof tip on how to find the romance with a new man despite his proposal!

It's great to meet a new man, but it's crazy when you hardly know each other and he's planning the rest of your life.

Tune in to see what he's really thinking … and what you can say in response.

Enjoy and tell me below what you say to men who make outrageous proposals!

Thanks so much for watching!  

Love,

Cherry

P.S.  Tune in to see what to do when a man makes an outrageous proposal before your third date!

 

{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }

Clare January 11, 2016 at 8:13 am

I had a guy who talked very seriously about moving in together and marriage by the third date. I would have been too scared to call his bluff like in the video because I'm reasonably sure he would have showed up at our next date with a diamond ring. He turned into a man very closely resembling a stalker and contacted me relentlessly even after I asked him not to.

 

I don't think he was a bad guy per se but he was in the middle of a separation and divorce and was very emotionally unstable and needy.

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Marie January 9, 2016 at 1:43 pm

I did not experienced this "luxury problem" directly, but I had a guy friend who had not many success with women (mommy´s boy ?) and when most of his friends got married or started having children, he started to pursue me. After not having seen him for a while, he wrote me an e-mail and offered to come to see me at my home place to "help me with" (I mentioned something in an e-mail). I lived on the other side of the country. I saw it as a red flag, as before, he only talked about himself and barely asked anything about me. Also I felt a desperate energy about him. I was not interested in him, so I thanked him for his offer, but wrote that "it is unfortunately not possible now to visite me". He never replied back (I felt it before), "friendship" ended. Another situation, when I expressed to my ex-bf I wanted to be married and I started to move myself from the relationship as there was not enough commitment, he did not change his behavior, but started to talk about "if it would help me, we could get engaged"…but he talked too much and his action did not mach his words. I felt offended by this cheap talking to string me along as it was many times before the case. I refused. Today, I´d say as Cherry advices " Great, what jewellr´s do we stop by ? I like big, shiny diamants " 🙂
(I know he talked about diamands, when I one asked him, passing by a jewellry´s that  he could buy me this nice easy, simple necklace, he replied "he had not so much money"…).

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Nancy January 8, 2016 at 4:48 pm

I had one man who asked me a few times to just "jump into" a relationship with him (after he'd broken my heart a couple of times). I always told him I needed time to make sure that was the right thing to do. He'd get argumentative and all I could say is "if you want me that badly then you have to give me time to catch up to where you're at. If I'm worthy of being your woman, then I should be worth wating for"…and he would walk away. LOL

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A January 8, 2016 at 2:53 pm

PS- I usually just roll my eyes and exit the date as quickly as possible, as I don't have any more of my precious time and energy to waste with someone so all over the place or shallow.

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A January 8, 2016 at 2:47 pm

This has ALWAYS been my biggest problem!!!  :-(. I've had it happen so often, usually the first or second date, it doesn't feel like a compliment at all, rather that I am just a "arm piece," instead of a real woman with real feelings.  It's been insulting to me, as it feels no one truly wants to get to know me to see if we are compatible.

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barbara April 20, 2014 at 5:15 pm

I also think it is a red flag…but I get freaked out if theguy wants to hold my hand on the first date…!  Seriously, I feel that there is an issue of boundaries..holding someone's hand walking down the street is like anouncing to the public that this is my man and I am his woman. But there is something creepy about a man trying announce that before he has earned your love and the right!
I know there IS such a thing as love at first sight, and I DO think a person can sense intuitively that they will marry a person they've just met….but it's usually a quiet thing, not something you blurt out…the unfolding process is as important as the knowing.
a man who wants to marry you right away is probably needy and immature.

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Catherine April 12, 2014 at 1:19 am

I have had this happen several times.  I have had several responses – one time (1st date) he asked me 4 or 5 times to "Let's just get married and make it work", at the end of the date, I asked him what he would say if I had said "yes" — he said probably freak out.  Another time, he kept asking if we could just elope to Vegas, and skip dessert.  I just told him frankly, "Hell no".  The last time was after a few weeks of dating – but I really think this guy has something, so I told him "sure we can talk about it and have a very long engagement period."  He is still aorund, so I guess that worked!

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Carole April 11, 2014 at 7:53 pm

What a quandry?! LOL
I think if this EVER happened to me, I'd probably say something like, "GREAT, I'll call my mother. We can tell her the Wedding is ON!" 
:OD

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Karen April 11, 2014 at 7:28 pm

Having been married to an abuser, I have read extensively about their behavior so I can avoid them. One thing they do is try to get the woman moved in or married as quickly as possible because they are trying to be on their good behavior when courting.  After they have wrapped up their prey, they can let their true selves come out and the abuse begins when you have no option out.  I dated a guy who rushed me into moving in, and within a few weeks, he was acting like my ex!  Needless to say, I was out of there so fast your head would spin!  When I'm dating a guy, and they start to talk about the "M word" as I call it, I simply state, "I can't say if I will or will not ever do that again.  However, I'd like for us to just date, and if, after a year, we are still as compatible as we are right now, I'd be willing to broach the subject.  Let's just put that word on the table and enjoy courting!"  I dated a widower who broke up with me after 4 months.  I asked him why, and he said, "I can tell that you'll never get married again, and I want to get remarried."  I said that I thought we had an agreement about the "M" word that we'd date for a year before even talking about that.  He said that we did, but he could just tell I wasn't going to remarry.  Hmmm!!!  Oh well, my experience dating widowers is that they want to remarry as quickly as possible, and I'm just not going to rush into a lifelong commitment that quickly!  Slow down and enjoy the courtship! 
I went to a singles Sunday School, and we had a great teacher who taught a lesson about the FOUR SEASONS of courtship. She said that we need to go through all four seasons with a person to really get to know them.  They were not literal seasons, but the Spring was the courtship and initial infatuation.  Summer was the warm, comfortable stage.  I forgot what Fall was, but Winter meant that you needed to see how a person handles the bad times and conflicts that happen to everyone.  I think seeing how a person deals with the "stuff" that life throws us is very important.  Do they handle it or go into depression, create melodrama, pull back, fall apart, etc. 

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Carma April 11, 2014 at 5:51 pm

Did you know that one of the 15 signs of a potential batterer is wanting exclusivity quickly? I've learned this the hard way. My most recent experience ended with an orbital fracture an my ex is now starting a 6-yr prison sentence. If a man wants to marry you so quickly, watch out for other warning signs. This could be a very bad sign!

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Goldberry April 11, 2014 at 12:21 pm

P.S.  I think part of my reaction is also just total disbelief that they could actually like me so soon; but maybe we should give them more credit for being able to appreciate what is truly good about us.  Maybe we're in denial about how cool we really are!

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Cherry Norris April 11, 2014 at 3:06 pm

Love your awareness Goldberry!
Stay open until you must say NO!
Love,
Cherry

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Goldberry April 11, 2014 at 12:18 pm

I've had this kind of thing happen a few times with foreign men.  One suggested on the second date that we move in together, and one asked me after only one date to go on a trip to Hawaii with him.  Another thought I was his future wife for sure before we even met!  My intuition is to simply end things there since this is so unrealistic.  I need a guy who is level-headed and so on.  One of them did turn out to be mentally ill.
On the other hand, my very steady grandfather proposed to my grandmother on the second date, and they were happily married.  So maybe I've been too hasty….!?   I guess I just recoil from their assumptions that they know what I'm like; I think it does take a while to get to know me.

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Melanie October 7, 2012 at 6:41 am

Hi Cherry, I met a man online in September of 2011 through a dating site online. We basically talked on the phone and texted on and off for close to a year. There were times where he would say things to me, that seemed to be a "bit over the edge" or very emotionally charged (via text). Yet, he would just simpy not give up. I finally met him, just for a couple of hours, after close to a year of sporadic talking and texting. After that, he was getting all nutty, talking about "I'd ask you to marry me if I thought you would say yes" and talking about babies, trips to Hawaii, all after a soimple 2 hour meeting? I couldn't believe it! He proceeded to tell me that he was in love with me. I made the mistake of telling him that this just simply was not possible. Boy, did I learn a lesson! No one likes to be told what they are feeling, and also, how could I possibly know? Like you said in your video, the funny sarcasm does tend to work quite well with men, especially online (and in person). Men love trying to "peel back the layers" to get to the real you! And we all know that the love a challenge. I guess I've been the ultimate challenge for this man, this past year. Next time he brings it up, I will ask him which jewelry store we shall go to. I have to admit, I am a bit scared that he will pick me up and take me there! As he is constantly offering to pay for things. It is quite flattering, but, I don't think I feel the same…and I think that's actually a big part of his interest in me. On the bright side, I have learned a valuable lesson on getting to a proposal with a man, as this had never happened to me before. Thank you for addressing this, as I felt like you were reading my mind when I saw the topic!

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Cherry Norris October 7, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Love it, Melanie!

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Marianna October 6, 2012 at 7:25 am

I married him. I’d never been proposed to before and it didn’t even occur to me that someone would say such a thing and NOT be serious. Or that someone would be so dishonest and misrepresent who he really is. Marrying him was one of the most foolish decisions I ever made. I wasted 5 years of my life.

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Linda October 6, 2012 at 1:45 am

I've had this as well, but it is almost always implied and not completely direct.  I level with them if I like them.  If I don't, I run.  If I like them, I answer them seriously and just tell them how important of a decision it is, and I want the man who decides to marry me to take the time to get to know me as I want to do with him.

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Jan October 6, 2012 at 12:22 am

Hi Cherry!
I don't usually comment on sites, but I have to tell you…..I meet my husbandon the second week he was home from Vietnam…..We dated most of the second week….then he left for Calif. to finish his tour of duty.  While he was gone….we wrote to each…..telephone calls….that was it for 3 months…..He came home discharged on 9/13/68…..we went out dancing on 9/14/68…..and he asked me to marry him……I thought he was nuts…..he asked me three times that night….on the third asking I said "yes"!   We were married the following year on 5/17/69….one week shy of knowing each other for one year……..We were married for 40 years….then he past!  It was a great marriage, and a great life.  He died 3 days before our 40th wedding anniversay….I was burying him instead of celebrating!  That being said……….anythig is possible!!  You just never know!
I enjoy your broadcast…………keep them coming!  Now I am single, back out on the dating scene….what a change from 40 years ago….but I am a survivor….and I decided….sink or swim……..I decided to swim!  I am having funnnn!  Though, recently I think I met my Christian Grey (you know, the character in the 50 shades of grey).  It totally happened unexpectantly.  Couldn't be happier………but….I am taking one day at a time!  No expectations….no pressure!!  I have learnt that along the way! I have decided to be patient, and see what happens!
I have learnt that there's no coincidnece in life…..everything happens for a reason!
Jan

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Cherry Norris October 6, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Beautiful story, Jan. My mother was married to my father 6 weeks shy of 40 years also. So happy to hear you’re back out there having fun and thanks so much for tuning in 😉
Love, Cherry

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Christina April 11, 2014 at 1:03 pm

I loved reading your story Jan–thank you so much for sharing it!
~Christina

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B October 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

I say "Thank you!" before responding with something like "but I don't think we know each other well enough, yet."  After all, he is offering me his greatest gift — himself — and I'm turning him down.  He may say "I was only kidding" to protect his ego.  Cherry, your response gives him that gift– you make it into a joke so he doesn't have to back pedal. I like it.  If he does take you to the nearest Tiffany's, well, you can always set a date about a year away and see how it goes. At least you know he's committed, exclusive, etc.  🙂

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Cherry Norris October 6, 2012 at 12:06 am

Love it, B!

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C October 5, 2012 at 2:26 pm

 
Wow….Thanks!! I'll definitely consider it in a year after we get to know each other better!!  So,  tell me more about yourself.

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El October 5, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I would say 'Yes', equally as serious as he delivered the question.  Then pause, smile and continue with ….
….. but not before one year and after you have agreed to my terms of exclusivity and marriage, we have negotiated sex, money and time and I feel loved, secure and cherished..

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CL October 5, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I have responded very directly and I think the guys understand. I say something like, "Let's wait and see how we feel after we get to know each other."

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Ziji April 11, 2014 at 11:25 am

CL–I like your honest response the best. Thanks.

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Bee April 11, 2014 at 7:50 pm

Yes, CL your response is one I recommend.  It's honest, open and encouraging, yet still a bit fun and mysterious. 😀

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Carolyn October 5, 2012 at 1:43 pm

A healthy, mature man carefully vets a woman to ensure she's a good fit for his life before proposing marriage.  Even if he's thinking "this could be my wife", he won't say it until he's sure.  A premature proposal is a HUGE red flag.  The dude is trying to get something that he hasn't, and probably can't, earn…like a place to live.

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Ninah October 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Hi Cherry, This happens to me all the time – 12 times to be exact.  I usually say "Reality check, I just met you and now you are scaring me."  That makes them think about me rather than them.  Here's what I've found.  That these guys aren't thinking about me at all, just want to get me into bed as soon as possible, and they think this is the way.  Well, they don't want me to see their "flaws" and leave, so they come up with "every woman's dream" to cover them up.  Unfortunately, when I do get to know these guys, I've found that none of them are suitable.  It's all about the chase.  If they do finally catch me, then they stop chasing and do absolutely nothing within the relatinship.  Like they are done expending energy and I'm to carry the ball from there.  So, from my experience, when someone does this?  Run.    Still single at 62.

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Kim October 13, 2012 at 9:54 pm

LOL, I so agree with you  Nianh    :o)

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Newcomer October 20, 2012 at 3:05 am

I agree with Ninah,
These guys are the love addict with impossibly immature attitudes regarding "love."  They are so wrapped up in the high of falling in love with….their imaginations of you.
They are not men equipped for a real relationship and usually have very low capacity for life problems, the stages of a relationship, or any real desire to have a mature relationship.  
I agree  – RUN!

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Carolyn October 5, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Hi Cherry, my man started talking to me about getting married 10 weeks into our official being a couple. On our 12 week anniversary and two days before he left to do Basic Training with the US Military, he asked me to try on his name for size. It sounded good and felt good too. But I am in Australia and he is in Georgia USA. Plus there is a 27 year age gap between us. I'm the older one. I told him I would give him an answer after his training and when he comes to Australia. So we are saying he has yet to officially propose 🙂 this time apart is good for us to really get our heads around the meaning of marriage and what we want together in our relationship. Cherry, I am learning south from your course 7 steps to meet and marry your man. Thank you so much.

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Cherry Norris October 6, 2012 at 12:07 am

Yay Carolyn! You’ll know exactly what to do 🙂

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Beth October 5, 2012 at 11:40 am

OK,  Cherry…so your solution is kinda like NLP (neurolinguistic programming) where you match the outrageous offer with your equally outrageous response. Hmm.  Still, his tone of voice (i am assuming) is serious and yours, in the video, is somewhat leg-pulling.

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