How Available Should You Be For Him?

by Cherry Norris on April 27, 2016

Valerie is an independent woman who has a full life.  She’s busy and bustling and never bored.

The problem is, when a man calls, Valerie is too busy to date.  A man gives up after only two dates because she has too many schedule conflicts. 

So what’s is Valerie to do?  Give up her life to please a man?  Or have the guys give up because she’s not available to date?

Today's video gives you a fun, fail-proof tip on how to have your own life and still be available to date men you're interested in.

Thanks so much for watching and sharing with your friends!

Enjoy and in the comment section below, tell me what happens when a man you like invites you out and you're too busy to see him.
 
Love,
Cherry

 

{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

Joana May 15, 2016 at 9:38 pm

Dear Cherry, what a wonderful tip, I hope I get to try it out soon 😉 

Yesterday I heard your radio interview with Ken and was sad to hear you are separated, but also so inspired by your honesty, strength and integrity in the way you are handling the situation. I have you in my thoughts and trust you are well and continuing to follow your inner voice. Thank you for teaching me so much. 

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Camille May 7, 2016 at 2:18 am

Hi Cherry,

If a man wants to see me and I am too busy, he says he understands but I can tell that he is disappointed. I guess it's like you said, unless it's your job or an emergency don't reschedule or he will move on to someone else.

 

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Lornetta April 29, 2016 at 8:21 pm

Wow!  This is SO my life!  I stay very busy and love what I do and don't want to give it up.  When I receive an inivitation and I'm already booked for that time, I suggest a couple of other times or scenarios that might work.  This lets them know that I AM interested in seeing them and it seems to keep everyone happy.

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Stephanie April 29, 2016 at 6:51 pm

Cherry, love your videos. All my G Fs are either married or live too far awayand I am uncomfortable going out alone. On line dating isnt working for me. What's a girl to do?

 

 

 

 

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Jc June 23, 2013 at 9:27 pm

Finally some good dating advice for women. As a man with a busy schedule myself – Bank VP  who frequently travels out of state mid-week for work, if I ask for a date twice and get an "I'm too busy" response both times, I pull up her name in my phone list, and hit delete. What's the point of having a girlfriend if she's always going to be too busy to see you? As for the advice of women planning the dates… I disagree with that one. Ultimately, if you really are booked up, even just finding a 15 minute block to meet up and say hello will tell the guy you are indeed interested and will still enable you to do whatever else it is that has you so busy.

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Barbara April 29, 2016 at 12:34 pm

Agree with statement of Jc- think when there is a will, there is a way:)

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Diane May 24, 2013 at 11:48 pm

Dear Cherry,
What do you do when Suitor number one calls for a date "tomorrow" but have a date scheduled with suitor number 2. I have 5 suitors at the moment, is this too many?
Do men not thrive on competition?
 
Blissfully,
 
Diane
 

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Jeff March 4, 2013 at 5:10 pm

I think one thing to add from a mans perspective is that if you enjoy spending time with a certain man and you are to busy you have to plan it and schedule that time with him.
It sends a sublte message to him that you want to spend time with him, but you also can't allow yourself to be stressed about it. He will appreciate you being honest and upfront without making him feel your not intrested.
On the big plus side if you free up some time you will also be able to call him up if you want and ask him out on a date. He'll love that!!
Factsonmen.com

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Donna March 2, 2013 at 8:09 pm

@Patti and Anne, I agree it's not fair to leave friends in the lurch. I was thinking more of times I have plans with a group of friends (often the case), they wouldn't mind me bowing out for a date, especially if I explain in advance "I might not make it to the WCS dance if I have a date," etc. The main point I think is we CAN make time if it's a priority. I just opened up lots of free time I didn't realize I had, just by making it a priority.
The job question is a tough one Lori. I am self-employed so I can be flexible for dating. What about a lunch or dinner date, during work hours, if he'll meet someplace near you? You have to eat right? Explain you only have a half hour and promise to give him more time in a couple weeks when things slow down at work. If you give him your undivided attention during that half hour, he will feel good about your effort for him.

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Lori March 2, 2013 at 5:20 pm

But what if it's your job? There are certain times of the year when my work schedule has me working 6 or 7 days a week for 2 or 3 weeks straight, week nights are not good. I've met  guys right at the beginning of one of those heavy work weeks & I know they don't believe me when I try explaining I'm not blowing them off, I really do want to meet him & ask him to try and hang on, that these crazy hours weeks are not all the time.

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Louisa March 2, 2013 at 12:42 pm

Hi Cherry,
Love your videos!!! They are so much fun!!!
I remember dating a guy, after our 2nd date, I had a course that I had already booked & paid for, that lasted 3 weeks. He was great about it, because he had done that same course a year before. 
So our 3rd date was actually 3 weeks after our 2nd date!! We stayed in contact by text messages & phone calls!!
So anything is possible!!! 🙂

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Sharon March 2, 2013 at 12:23 pm

Does the same hold true if a guy waits til the last minute and asks if I am available?  I'm willing to try to clear if he plans a couple of days in advance but calling me on Friday night and asking me if I want to go to dinner makes it seem like I am going to be always waiting for last minute dates with no way to plan a social life.

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laurie August 15, 2014 at 11:36 am

If you're available–go! Enjoy yourself.  Get to know him a little better and you'll know the answer to if 'he's a keeper…..or not.'  😉

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Sally March 2, 2013 at 5:12 am

Great  tip Cherry. I would love it if a guy asked me out – as I have plenty of time available – haha. That scenario where I'm too busy, hasn't  happened to me yet . . .  Things WILL have to change 🙂

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Cherry Norris March 2, 2013 at 5:38 pm

Yay, Sally!
Yes, time for a change 🙂
Love, Cherry

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Lori March 1, 2013 at 8:31 pm

If a guy asks me out and I already have something planned.  I say so but I also offer another night that Im available.  It may only be the next night or the night after that.  MOST of the time it works but once in a while he might say.  I don't plan that far out.  Men……

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Patti March 1, 2013 at 6:34 pm

I understand making time to date, but I think it's rude to cancel on a friend/family member just because I got a "better" offer (some guy asked me out).  They made plans with me, and it's not right to bail on them and now instead of a fun evening out, they have to sit at home alone watching TV.  Especially since I still get a fun evening out, albeit with the guy.  I wouldn't like if they bailed on me, regardless of what the plans were, so I can't justify doing it to them, for any reason.  Instead, I would reserve certain days of the week for dates, and make plans with friends on other days.  If the guy has a weird schedule, then I can adjust my "dating days," but I would never cancel on a friend for a guy.  He may or may not be around in a few weeks, but my friends will, and I'm going to treat them with respect, and like the important part of my life that they are.

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Anne March 1, 2013 at 8:39 pm

I completely agree with Patti. It is rude to cancel on anyone. That's a good way to LOSE friends and leave your family feeling snubbed. If you are really on that tight a schedule, I would consider whether you really have time in your life for a man. What if there's an emergency and he needs you? Could you respond within a reasonable period of time?
You may want to look ahead and not sign up for your regular tennis league, or whatever, if that will give you more time with your guy. You make the call.
 

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Tosha March 1, 2013 at 4:28 pm

But what if the man seems to only have time for you when it's convenient for him? Why is it about his convenience and we have to change our lives around to suit his time? It feels like it should be the other way around.  If a man is truly interested in me, wouldn't he make time? 

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ss March 2, 2013 at 3:26 pm

Good quesiton. I wonder what Cherry would say, but in my opinion, this video is more relevant to the first couple of dates, and why not ? I'd always feel flattered when a man has a courage to ask me out, ;it's his show so women, please make up time, just go and enjoy the shows.. Keep your judgment, stereotypes out of the mind..
After you know him well and decide to continue seeing him, then there are no rules, every couple set their own rules, to your question, it's time for you to assess him further. What he really looks like and feels like to be with when sometimes meeting up takes some efforts ? If he's really intrested in you, and you are in him, things will work out. Dating is a test drive to couple's compatibility, way of thinking, decision making etc. There isn't a science how to make dating works and all smooth all the time..You keep having a full life, put your best foot during the dates and hopefuly he does the same..

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Cherry Norris March 2, 2013 at 5:37 pm

You got it, Susi!
I totally agree with what you wrote!
Thanks!
Love, Cherry

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Donna March 1, 2013 at 3:42 pm

OMG, this is ME. Thank you. Okay, I am changing my "game plan," clearing my calendar, ha ha, and being available for men who ask me out! I love the idea of telling friends/family that I may have to bow out of something fun with them if a man I'm interested in asks me out! Even my kids are old enough to do that with (22 and 16), so unless we have plans with tickets that can't be changed, I'll give them a "rain check" too. It's not like it'll happen every night, ha ha (unless it does, which I won't complain about!). Seriously, my teen loves staying home by himself. (If I get a date every night, I'll just have to spend more time with my kids during the day and put my business on hold, ha ha. I make my own hours, self-employed, so that's not a problem.
I love this tip, thank you! (Time to go respond to that guy on eharmony who said he wants to get together, I've been avoiding getting back to him, since I'm "so busy." Funny how just shifting my attitude opens up all kinds of free time for me. In fact, almost everything I have scheduled can be cancelled or postponed for a date! This is one of those things, now that the light is turned on, I wonder why I never saw it before! I have plenty of free time for dating, I just haven't been prioritizing it! Sheesh, things are about to change.
You post a lot of great tips and this one is really perfect for me right now! I so appreciate it! 

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Cherry Norris March 1, 2013 at 4:54 pm

Wonderful, Donna!
So happy to hear it helped 🙂
Love, Cherry

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Marie February 28, 2013 at 2:28 am

A few years ago I knew this Woman who some may call a feminist and if not, fore sure, she is known for being hard on Guys and for Sisterhood Empowerment.  Told her about my long awaited interest in this Guy and that he asked me out.  The timeframe that he asked me out, I couldn't devvote time to him because of work.  I was so surprised when she told me that I needed to make time for him if I were interested and that he may not like that I'm not available to him.  Because she is hard on Guys, at the time, I thought she was talking out of both sides of her mouth.  I nearly chopped her head off and said that she wasn't progressive enough to understand.  Shortly after that I started learning about Masculine and Feminine roles, was introduced to Dr. Pat Allen and came to adore YOU Cherry.  After nearly three or four years later, I finally get what she is talking about LOL.  Therefore, Cherry, I absolutely agree with you in this video.  If interested and want him to pursue, gotta make time for him.  

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Bee March 6, 2013 at 12:40 am

"… I thought she was talking out of both sides of her mouth.  I nearly chopped her head off and said that she wasn't progressive enough to understand…"
Whoa!  I'd call this "being hard on women."  Would you call it that? LOL.  I hope your friend's chopped off head grew back.  
There are all kinds of women in the world, different ages, different religions, skin colors and political persuasions.  There's room enough for all varieties of women and a lid for every pot.
If we want to date, we have to make time for it.
😀
 

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Marie March 11, 2013 at 6:40 am

I know, was I hard on her or what? LOL I look back at that and think to myself, I'm surprised that I spoke to her that way and that she tolerated it.  Thank goodness her  head is on tight and she is doing just great.  Just because someone says something that you don't agree with doesn't mean it's not valid.  I was completely wrong and learned my lesson for sure.  

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laurie August 15, 2014 at 11:28 am

~~Just because someone says something that you don't agree with doesn't mean it's not valid.~~Powerful awarenesses Marie,  Thank you!

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