When You’re Feelin’ Too Chicken To Confront Him …

by Cherry Norris on March 23, 2016

Let's say you meet a new man … and he seems really great.

For the most part, he does all the right things.

He calls.  He plans the date.  You like where he takes you … that kind of stuff.

All is swell, except for one little thing …

One irritating habit that just drives you nuts!

Perhaps he ogles other women.

Or makes a rude joke.

Maybe he burps or farts in public (and thinks it's funny).

Confrontation isn't easy, but if you see a romantic possibility, you gotta speak up!

Today's video gives you a fun, fail-proof tip on how to build your confidence and courage to share what's on your mind.

When a man you like does something crass or uncomfortable, watch this to see what to do.

Leave me a comment below telling me how you handle a man's irritating habit!

Enjoy and thanks for tuning in!

Love,

Cherry

{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Camille March 29, 2016 at 5:12 pm

Hi Cherry,

Unfortunately I have a tendency to get very upset and complain, but I am working on my approach to this situation.

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Evelyn March 25, 2016 at 9:43 pm

the thing is…I feel I would use the technique if the guy does something which is out of place and sort of rude like burping, not being able to eat properly maybe but somehow I feel that if he is with me on a first or second date and eyes other women, I would not be interested to "get into an agreement" it would be a case of next…

 

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Barbara March 25, 2016 at 3:58 pm

I don't think that a man has every right to ogle other women when he is on a date with me. I also don't think that he has every right to flirt with the waitress, make crude jokes, be really loud or any other annoying, rude, or disrespectful behavior. I think I might say I enjoy his company but that I was uncomfortable about his rude behavior and if he doesn't apologize or make excuses for this behavior I would move on and find a new relationship.

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Elina January 27, 2013 at 5:38 am

Hi Cherry,
I was on your call the other night, thank you so much for your time and advice.  It was so helpful!

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Alena January 26, 2013 at 6:56 pm

Hi Cherry,
Another great video tip, not to mention the cute guy with you.:)  Your live webinar was not only very educational, but also it was fun.
Thank you,
Alena

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Sally January 26, 2013 at 5:53 am

I've had one date with a guy and he visits me regularly at my market stall. While talking I find he keeps looking at my chest and I do not like it.  I am plucking up the courage to let him know how I feel about it, tomorrow 🙂
Love your great tips Cherry, thank you.

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Lynn January 25, 2013 at 9:35 pm

Hi Cherry,  Thank you for your wonderful help. When telling a man that he has every right to admire other women, just not when we are together, does that give him the impression that if we are dating/seeing e/o that it is okay to do it when we are apart? Also, how do you handle something that really is not ok with you, ie. immoral etc.?

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antonia bano January 25, 2013 at 6:10 pm

Hi cherry, My problem was not what he did. He was a perfect gentle man but I could not tolerate his odor. his body odor. There was no way I could tell him without hurting his feeling.
So,sadly I had to let him go.
Antonia

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Cherry Norris January 25, 2013 at 6:27 pm

True, Antonia.
Bad odor is not something you can negotiate.
They’ll be more 😉
Love, Cherry

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Christy January 25, 2013 at 6:04 pm

Hi-
Excellent video on confronting the bad behavior!
I have been dating a man for four months and the relationship seems to be progressing nicely.
Last week, however, we had plans to celebrate my birthday (great plans that HE put together – BTW). A couple of days prior to our date, he informed me that an old friend was coming into town and how excited he was to for his friend to stay with him. When I asked about our plans for my birthday, he stumbled on his words and said, "we'll still have dinner…" I was stunned – he'd never cancelled a date before – and he was cancelling my birthday! He offered no apology and no explanation – just said this is what was happening.
I took a day to think about it. I then called and left a cheerful voicemail message saying that I'd declined another offer after I thought we'd had planned the day. I did not want to rush dinner on my birthday, and he and his friend should have fun (it was a big football game day); I was going to accept the other offer and we would talk soon. 
I received a text message acknowledging my voicemail message, which also said, "have fun!" (I received no further birthday greeting, etc.)
He contacted me a few days later, after his friend departed. He wants to get together – and it seems that in his mind everything is status quo. I have not yet responded.
While I don't want to make a big deal out of this, how do I confront him? It was hurtful to be ditched and to have received no acknowledgement of my birthday. I could have been understanding if he'd apologized for changing the plans – at the very least he could have mentioned celebrating at another time, and that have been fine with me. Instead, it felt as though he was "throwing me a bone" by grappling with "we'll have dinner…" I believe if I'd accepted the quick dinner, the evening would have been uncomfortable for both of us, as we would both feel pressure. 
This is not about pressure. But, I want to express my feelings. What's the best way to handle this?
Many thanks,
Christy
 

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Cherry Norris January 25, 2013 at 6:28 pm

Thanks for your sharing your story, Christy (and belated Happy Birthday!)
Use the same strategy you learned in today’s video: caress, express & address!
Hope it helps 🙂
Love,
Cherry

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Laara January 25, 2013 at 5:50 pm

Cherry ~ I LOVE your comments, your clear, loving responses, I am learning..
Your call the other night was wooohooo so very helpful.   If you had other calls,
I would be there.  I have never heard of anyone going the 3 1/2 HOURS answering our
questions, wish I had been more prepared, I found so much very very helpful.
Thank You Cherry again !    Love, Laara

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Cherry Norris January 25, 2013 at 6:04 pm

Thank you Laara!
So appreciate your comments and being on the call. Yes, it was quite the marathon wasn’t it !!
Love, Cherry

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Lisa January 25, 2013 at 4:55 pm

Hi Cherry –
Love your fun, fail proof tips! 
I've mentioned this before. Today's video brought the issue up once again. No one ever makes us feel any particular way. How we feel is alwasys a choice. We can address the other person's behavior and our reaction to it , whie requesting a change in the other person.
Instead of saying "Your behavior makes me feel uncomfortable", we might say "I feel uncomfortabe when you…."   It's a minor shift in word choice which has signficant implications for self empowerment and respect (not blaming) the other person. The "makes me feel" ascribes too much power to the other person. It's important for every person (especially women) to recognize that we always have a choice in how to respond in every situation.
Thx,
Lisa

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Cherry Norris January 25, 2013 at 6:05 pm

Nice Lisa!
Thanks so much for your insight!
Love, Cherry

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Bee January 26, 2013 at 1:05 am

Yes, Lisa.  Absolutely!

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Bee January 26, 2013 at 1:05 am

Yes, Lisa.  Absolutely!

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Arvindh January 25, 2013 at 1:59 pm

Cherry, Your expressions are really funny and make me smile. You are really an amazing woman.

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Cherry Norris January 25, 2013 at 6:01 pm

Thanks Arvindh! Really appreciate your tuning in 🙂
Love, Cherry

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Ginell January 25, 2013 at 8:35 am

I agree with what you say…my problem is that I tend to react so quickly that I don't have time to think and apply this method..any suggestions?

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Cherry Norris January 25, 2013 at 6:02 pm

Hi Ginell!
Take a moment before speaking to collect your thoughts!
A little self discipline goes a long way 🙂
Love you,
Cherry

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