When You’ve Pushed A Man Toooooo Far …

by Cherry Norris on September 23, 2015

We've all done it … even though we hate to admit it!

Meet a man we really like and just as things start to heat up, do something really stupid to screw it up …

Like drinking too much wine or too many "tini's" and calling him up (or texting or emailing) all kinds of craaaazzzzy stuff!

OMG! What must he be thinking? You went completely nuts! You'd give a gazillion dollars if you could just take it all back!

Worst of all, when you try and reach out to explain, he doesn't return your calls.

Today's video gives you a fun, fail-proof tip on what to do when you've pushed a good man too far.

It may not be too late to repair the damage. If this won't save your situation, nothing will!

Thanks for watching and tell me below what you do when you've pushed a man too far and want to get him back.

Enjoy!

Love,

Cherry

{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }

Jazzmyn December 4, 2016 at 8:30 pm

I was at a school dance and me and this guy was getting to know each other and I asked him to dance but he said he didn't know then his firmed came by and talked him into it but I did not get it on video so I asked him again and asked till he said yes I feel like hi mad him mad but hav eno way if knowing what can I do to win his heart again 

Reply

jasmine July 14, 2016 at 5:55 pm

Well i harrased him with calls nd text, but my last text was i APOLOGIZE IM DONE nd stopped contacting him will he ever come back around hopefully not to late

Reply

Kan June 16, 2016 at 3:37 am

Hi Cherry, your advice is so true and deep. I can tell its the "real" feminine way to go about things! 🙂 My question is I had a major crush as a 15 year old on this guy and barely got to talk to him, but probably scared him away in my attempts. Fast forwsrd 16 years and I see he has a profile online, but I dont know how to initiate "the 6 second smile" online and additionally dont want to rescare him away now that were both adults. I genuinely want to get it right this time. My only insecurity is my invome, he lives several hours away by car. What is best starting advice in this situation? 

Reply

Diane izatt April 22, 2016 at 2:29 pm

OMG,  I needed to read this.  Of course, a lot of us have said stuff that we shouldn't have while drinking a bit too much so that the lack of inhibition made it easier to voice some stuff that should have stayed quiet or written and burned. I know for me there is no repairing any collateral damage from fallout drinking,  It will be "next" for me but wiser now.

Reply

Allie April 22, 2016 at 1:32 pm

Hi Cherry,

i have gone though something very similar many times. I let my insecurities from past relationships infiltrate new relationships and I push and test men. It's like I anticipate them leaving me. I push them to see if they'll stick around. I just recently lost a good man by doing just that. We had been seeing each other for 6 weeks and he was making tons of effort and the other night he was over and said he was going to go home instead of sleeping over and I got mad and slammed the door. He left, but I called him and asked him to come back and he did. We talked all night. He cried. I cried. He said he's afraid I'm going to put him through the same hell that his ex put him through and he can't "deal with it". He said he changed his mind when I got angry and slammed the door. And now he just wants to be "friends first" and see if I can show him I won't act that way again. He says he's not sure if we can be together now and he needs to get his "head right". (He has been going thru some serious life issues and it has him acting really depressed.) He said he doesn't want to lose me and he likes me, and I don't want to lose him, but he is afraid of getting hurt. I feel he thinks I'm going to be just like his ex. How do I show him I can be the woman he wants? How can I win him back? 

Surely if he can change his mind so quickly off, that he could possibly turn it on again?

id really appreciate some personal advice here. 

Thanks Cherry

youre wonderful! 

Reply

Daisy March 13, 2016 at 2:33 am

I recently did just that, pushing a good man away with my emotionally charged texts. I've repeatedly reflected on what happened and what led to me sending those messages. I really shouldn't have lashed out at him like that. I apologised profusely the next day. He said he still thinks I am a great woman and he would like us to be friends. I've been obssessd over this for almost two weeks. I'm determined to work on my insecurities and some other issues I've realised from this incident. I guess what I am struggling a bit to understand is why he wouldn't give us a second chance when he still thinks I'm great despite this incident. We all screw up at some point without the intention of hurting anyone, and many of us all do deserve second chances I believe. I am normally very much in control of my irrational emotions, but I lost control this time because I felt so comfortable with him and thought I could just be blunt and direct about how I felt. Having said that, we did only know each other for a month and met four times. Maybe it is hard for him to decide otherwise based on the little knowledge he had of me. I still feel very sad 🙁 But this did expose some of my issues, and hopefully I will truely learn my lesson. 

Reply

Lizzie December 26, 2015 at 4:21 am

My boyfriend of 3.5 years just broke up with me. Due to my insecurities, the past year we've been arguing alot and he's been patient with me all this time to keep trying as well. But I pushed him too far. He doesn't get mad much but when he does it's too much for him handle. He's not the kind to get mad so when I pushed him I pushed too far. And he said as much as he loves me and still cares for me, he can't let this resentment grow and end up hating me. He can't give it another chance because he thinks it's not working out cause we're only going to start fighting again. I'm finally realizing my mistake and I can't believe it took me this to wake up. He said he wants to stay in contact because he still wants to talk to me. He said that he's going to leave it up to fate if one day we reconcile. And that gives me hope but how am I supposed to move on if I still have that hope? He said that he's hoping as well that we can be friends and one day start over. I understand why we need to do this, we both still need to work on our careers and our personal issues that won't affect a relationship. But how am I supposed to move on now when all this hope is still there and yet the fear of that hope come crashing down? 

Reply

Hope February 26, 2016 at 8:13 pm

Can I ask you how this worked out for you? I'm currently in the exact same situation and struggling. 

Reply

Ang June 16, 2016 at 9:11 pm

Im in the same situation..i really screwed up with the texting. Called the police that i was harrassing him.Which i wasnt – it was about money that is owed to me. I heard hes moved on with some girl when he was with me 3 weeks ago for 3 nights.Im lost

Reply

Confused April 27, 2015 at 5:50 am

Dear Cherry, your video's and your energy is exactly what I needed. 

I did push a man too far. We texted for months when I was abroad and something was happening. When I returned we rushed things. It turns out he is leaving within 4 weeks and was afraid to have a distance relationship. We took it easier but I messed up with crazy texts. He wants to meet me in two weeks, but has still blocked me. How do I show him that even when he is away I'm serious about is without pushing him too far..

With Love

Reply

Kate April 24, 2015 at 12:27 pm

I've done it, too.  I've blown up on a man I'm in love with.  I apologized, and he accepted it, and we decided to be just friends (but I love him more).  He still checks in with me every now and then, offers to help with things around the house, takes me to lunch, and we hug when we say good bye.  BUT he is dating others.  I know there could be hope, but it depends on the individual man.  What I would like to know is how best to bring him back and when to know there's no hope.  

I have put myself back on the dating site, but my heart isn't in it.

Thanks for comments.

Reply

stacy April 14, 2015 at 7:05 pm

I have also experienced what is in this video as I see many others here have. I was married 19 years. I’ve been divorced almost 4 yrs now. Met a great guy, after 2 months I brought up commitment and pushed him away. Then I sent him ridiculous hateful text messages and tried over explaining myself. I’m sure he thinks I’m crazy. I’m so disappointed in myself for pushing him away. He is really a great guy. My insecurities got the best of me. Definitely a lesson learned and a good man lost. I’m still sad and trying to move on. It’s very hard not to contact him. After all I’m 41 and I feel like time is wasting. Thanks for the good advise.

Reply

Kerry December 7, 2014 at 11:23 pm

It was so refreshing watching this video. I have been seeing a really lovely man for the last 8 weeks. A couple of weeks ago I told him that I was uncomfortable with him still being active on dating website we met on. He cooled it down slightly after this but was still calling and texting me everyday and we have met up a couple of times. He seemed really into me. This weekend we had planned spend together but a couple of hours before we were going to meet I saw that he was online. I felt gutted and called us off…..I haven’t heard from him today. Have I blown it…….just hated the thought of getting closer to him and then as soon as I leave his checking his messages from other women

Help please

Reply

Cherry Norris December 8, 2014 at 7:56 pm

Thanks for your note, Kerry.
You haven’t blown it, but you do need to negotiate your relationship. Is he in agreement to stop seeing other women? If so, he’s broken your deal. If not, then he has every right to check in on other women and you decide if it’s acceptable or not. If he’s not willing to be exclusive and that’s what you require, then you’re incompatible.
Got it? Good.
Love, Cherry

Reply

Molly April 4, 2014 at 3:00 pm

Cherry:
The beginning, middle and end of this video was not only true and one
we can all admit the mistakes we have made….but it was one huge
laugh-out-loud for me.  Love the video showing your hands tied to chair
and mouth taped to prevent you from calling him or texting.
Really hilarious!
Love to you,
Molly

Reply

Liv March 25, 2014 at 10:02 pm

Me and my man broke up over a month and a half ago and I really behaved a bit irrationally towards him.. We got into little text arguments about us and why it ended to the point that I was desperately trying to explain myself and he quit replying. I sent a last text with a very kind apology for the way I acted after that.. When I see him in person, which is daily, I notice that he still seems to glance at me or look at me. I don't know if this is just me or if he actually still has interest, but is it absoluetly necessary to not contact him for 8 weeks or can I maybe talk to him in person sometime and try to explain myself so that we can at least be friends if not a couple again? 

Reply

Nicola January 4, 2014 at 1:11 pm

8 weeks, that seems like a long time.
Regards

Reply

Sharie January 3, 2014 at 7:12 pm

Oh my! Time to grow up! This is okay and perhaps normal if you're in high school but grown women should really know better. Go to AA if this is a regular thing. Men hate drama.  I would be dumping any guy who behaved like this towards me. There are simply too many other people to choose from. When a guy doesn't respond he's either busy or not interested. Date someone else. If he wants you he will let you know. You will KNOW it. You don't need to question it!

Reply

Kamilla January 3, 2014 at 12:14 pm

Still not easy. I am soooo uncomfortable with the first date that I ruin it and you can't help but ask, why ??
I do the same. I want to know why men don't date me why ???
Its not fun.

Reply

Cat October 7, 2013 at 4:39 pm

Boy did I need this!! I pushed when he pulled away and now I see had I googled this before- this wouldn't have happened!!! This video was fun, light and there's something to knowing that other normal, healthy, wonderful women can do what I just did. Not fun!!! I did send an apology text and he responded but ultimately said it's 'too awkward' now and it sucks. So I said, I like you it is awkward. And now I leave it alone. Thank you!!

Reply

Susie July 29, 2013 at 1:21 pm

Hi Cherry,–love this video!!
 
I have recently done the exact thing. We have been off and on for the last 1.5 years. We go three months and one of us screws it up, him needing space and breaking contact or me going "nuts" on him for not giving me what I think I need. This last time we got back together, I swore I would play it cool with this guy who was upfront about not wanting a full relationship (we both have said marriage and kids is not a goal)–problem is we were in a relationship even with no label. I thought I was fine with this—what I realized is I wanted a committment from him–one that was even if we had an arguement or something–he wouldn't run. Well, he had been staying at my place for a bit while he was in between places. I was fine with that at first. It was nice having him around etc. Well, you could tell we were spending way to much time together and we started to get on each other's nerves. He suggested he should leave so we wouldn't end up in a stupid arguement—I didn't want him to go–the plan was for only a few more days anyway. Well, I got really upset that he was leaving–he said mean things, I said mean things—.  He left with the "don't contact me again" as his last words to me. Since has removed me as a friend on FB (I know, does that really matter).  It has been a week of no contact. In the past, I would blow up his phone. The last time, I made a point to only email, text or VM just a few times. After a few days of no response, I stopped all together. He contacted me after about 3 weeks, apologizing for his silent treatment (he basically fell off the face of the earth; he was not asking to get back together).  A few days later, we picked up where we left off with daily communicating and seeing each other….really as if nothing had happened.
Deep down I think this is the guy for me, I think our biggest problem is my insecurities and he just runs when things get a little tough. Me, I like to talk things out–like most girls. Every relationship has issues and is not perfect. How do I apologize for what happened and let him know I am sorry. I want "a relationship with him".  I have always gone after him–meaning I have at least contacted him in someway so he knows the door is open. This time, because of no contact—-I don't feel like he knows the door is open.

Reply

Adrienne July 12, 2013 at 3:55 pm

Ash…your story is SO similar to mine.  I met a guy on Match a month ago; we talked constantly via text and on the phone for two weeks prior to meeting in person.  After an amazing weekend we continued to talk regularly, but my insecurities from a previous relationship reared their ugly head.  This relationship lasted seven years and was emotionally and physically abusive.  I became obsessed with his online activity and mentioned my frustration not just once, but twice to him.  The first time he seemed forgiving and brushed it off, however, this last Sunday he didn't seem so forgiving.  I haven't heard from him since a casual text exchange on Monday.  I really cared for him.  I sent the following email on Tues as one finally attempt to see if he'd respond…"I regret letting an insecurity from my previous relationship get the better of me, which made me question your motives; you didn’t deserve that.  I thought we had a genuine connection and would’ve loved to have seen where it could’ve taken us.  You’re a kind, funny, caring and charismatic gentleman with one hell of a sexy country voice J  All the best…xoxoxo…Michelle"  I haven't heard back from him and wonder if there's ANY chance he will forgive me…

Reply

Cat October 7, 2013 at 4:41 pm

I am sorry to see this- and I am wondering- did he contact you again?

Reply

Molly March 21, 2013 at 9:22 pm

Cherry:  I love your videos….they are helpful, but also very humorous.
I am now in a very good relationship and your videos have and will be
very helpful.  We are both what a relationship therapist told me is:
"Chemically in Love."
Love,
Molly

Reply

Cherry Norris March 22, 2013 at 5:17 am

Love it, Molly!
Thanks!
Cherry

Reply

Ash February 2, 2013 at 4:46 am

Cherry,
I just started watching your videos and they are delightful! I recently had a situation similar to the one described here. I met a man online and we dated for almost a month. We had 3 incredible dates and great phone conversation. He is definitely someone I can see myself with. The emotional and physical attraction is very strong. However, I can be hypersensitive sometimes to the feeling of a man pulling away. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with lots of push and pull and I'm still working to overcome the insecurities. 
I think that I started to let my insecurities show a bit and got a little snarky with him for canceling plans with me, but still nothing major. But I think it has led him to distance himself further. I initiated the last phone call, he did not answer and I have not heard from him at all in a week. 
I would like to think that I can salvage this in some way. I don't think I would have gotten as anxious if I didn't really like this guy.
Thanks for all of the advice that you give!
Ash

Reply

Florence February 1, 2013 at 9:05 pm

You are so adorable, and all is so true Cherry.  Funny to laugh at ourselves, we've all been there.  I think okay to acknowledge and apologize for what I did too.  That has worked for me a few times.  He forgave me and we went forth.  Sometimes I haven't been forgiven though.  🙂  Oh well…..next!

Reply

Karyn January 5, 2013 at 5:28 pm

I love your videos Cherry!  They are so great!  I hate to admit it but  have done this way too many times.  I ususally wait to see if he contacts me and if they don't, I do not follow-up.  I feel if one little blunder is going to push a man away, he is not worth it and move on to the next.  Maybe I have too much pride, but if a man is really into you, he will come back.  I am not going to chase them – they need to hunt me!! Of course, sometimes an apology is in order, but if they can't accept it, then adios!!

Reply

Goldberry January 3, 2014 at 2:14 pm

The thing is that these men don't know you yet, Karyn.  It's a small blunder to you, but to them it's an indication of what you're "really like".  So if you want them to come back you should at least do a little damage control.  At such an early stage of the relationship it says more about you than them if you don't bother to do it…  Do you think you might be avoiding a real relationship by pushing men away like this?

Reply

margie January 5, 2013 at 3:39 am

ha ha ha yes guitly, guilty, guilty and thank goodness i am not some famous starlet so someone could kiss and tell some of my crazy ideas from the past!!! but that is exactly what they are… the past .sometimes the seemingly right man evokes such wonderful but also vulnerable feelings within us. some just trigger things within ourselves and if we are able to stop, think and calm down instead of reacting then perhaps we will be open to the lesson that is before us. yes, you are soooo right and sooo funny. the right man will see beyond all of that if you are able to get that grip on yourself. thankyou for a hearty laugh today and everyone say goodbye to that crazy woman and say hello to the new self assured, composed one. so true self love is a wonderful anchor.

Reply

Cherry Norris January 5, 2013 at 5:25 pm

You got it Margie!!
Thanks for sharing!
Love, Cherry

Reply

Diana January 4, 2013 at 9:37 pm

Nice, this was exaclty what i needed to hear today, there is this guy I just met, we've been on two dates, I postponed the third because i was busy and also because I want him to call me ahead of time, not just contact me through facebook or e-mail; we chatted a little yesterday, and he said we should get together again, but he didn't make any plans, grrrrr! I've learned so much these three months and when I need reassurance i just come back here, and that is what happened today, he's been "on" and doesn't initiate contact, so i will just inhale, exhale, relax, and wait to see if he is interested in pursuing ME, if not…well there are other guys, and things to do.
I was about to say hello to him on facebook, and thought just a little hello won't hurt. Maybe he is wondering why i haven't said anything either. 

Reply

Cherry Norris January 5, 2013 at 5:26 pm

Breathe, breathe, breathe, Diana!
And let him come to you in his time 😉
Love, Cherry

Reply

Diana January 6, 2013 at 4:16 am

Thank you Cherry.

Reply

Suzanne January 4, 2013 at 7:52 pm

OMG! I just watched this video & laughed my a** off….You are funny, Girl!
I felt as if this vidoe was written for me! (& so happens my name is Suzanne also!)… Super Very timely video, Cherry! Thanks!
Suzanne~  

Reply

Suzanne January 5, 2013 at 4:41 pm

From one Suzanne to another, BIG HUG and kisses! We women are a trip, for sure.

Reply

Cherry Norris January 5, 2013 at 5:27 pm

Love it, Suzanne!

Reply

Jane March 26, 2013 at 9:21 pm

I just wanted to thank you, Cherry, for all your great advice, you are an incredible woman. Suzanne, thank you so much as well. After a month of no communication, after some crazy emails I sent him, I decided to send one final apology email, he replied within the hour with very positive thoughts. I have definitely learned my lesson and will continue to follow all the great tips that I have gotten through this amazing website. Best of luck to all.

Reply

Nicole January 4, 2013 at 4:10 pm

Cherry,
I am 42, recently divorced after 15yrs.  I am independent, successful, attractive and active. My issue is that I have been dating an incredible guy that makes me feel wonderful.  However, he is a few states away and dont think that can change for either of us.   Recently, an old friend came back into my life that I have been "seeing".  He is local and has characteristics I desire.  So far, just friends, but its progressing now….. We are getting to the point where I believe I could start being intimate with this new man, while still being intimate with my long distance love.  However, being intimate with both at the same time does not seem right unless I tell them both. Afterall, I would want to be treated the same. However, I know that wont go over well with either of them.  It would still be nice to experience this new man to feel if our chemistry runs deeper. Please help!
Nicole

Reply

Kim January 4, 2013 at 3:11 pm

If you've already tried to explain, etc., I would recommend you send one final message apologizing for your stupid behavior, telling him it's a lesson learned, and let it go. Move on. If he wants to give you another chance, he will. If he doesn't, get over it. And please please please learn from your mistakes!  😉

Reply

Cherry Norris January 4, 2013 at 4:33 pm

Good advice, Kim! Thanks!
Love, Cherry

Reply

Suzanne January 5, 2013 at 4:39 pm

Cherry/Kim,
I'm smiling, grinning and a bit embarrassed that you featured my note! I did just that, Kim. Reached one last time and apologized. He came back, spoiled me at Christmas and we've spent more special times since.
I am glad I gave everyone a laugh, but please gals, pray for me. To all the world, I'm an attractive, fun woman, but deep inside I let my insecurities eat at me. Sure doesn't help that my ex husband had a long time affair. I've forgiven him, but it's obvious, that trust thing is still lingering.
Cherry, when I'm feeling vulnerable again, I promise to lock up my phone! Love to all of you! And thank you, Cherry, for your words of wisdom!
Suzanne

Reply

Cherry Norris January 5, 2013 at 5:25 pm

Hi Suzanne,
Thanks for your update! So happy he accepted your apology and spoiled you at Christmas!!
Know that you are enough and offer value for just being who you are … and hang in there!
You’re doing great 🙂
Love, Cherry

Reply

Jane March 26, 2013 at 9:23 pm

Kim, thank you so much for the advice on sending one final apology email, it worked! 

Reply

Cari January 4, 2013 at 1:42 pm

This was so funny! Been there done that. Thanks Cherry LOL. Love, Cari

Reply

Cherry Norris January 4, 2013 at 4:31 pm

We all have, Cari! 🙂

Reply

Sea January 4, 2013 at 1:41 pm

Thank you Cherry, You are a beacon of light in this dark jungle of dating!
This is the funniest but one of the most painful selfdestructive behaivor in people. 
Not enough self love , feeling so vulnarable .BUM! the bombs go off. 
I done it , for me is the demands, I spelled them out and if he does not come to then in time frame , off with his head, not really ,but close!  hahahhaa! Not to a certifiable extend but good enough to be said, 'what the hell is the woman thinking?" 
I meet a man that I was taken back how much I like him and how much my body likes him! and I did my speacial screw up number on him and of course , he did what any normal male will do; run for the hills and hide. He stop all communication and I let it sit like that,. I did realiazed that you have let go and let the time pass, now I know is a  8 weeks frame. Thanks Cherry.
In my case the time passed, and he did reach out , not to extend I wanted, but we are now gently developing a friendship where we just allow a friendship between us. I am helpfull and available as a friend.  He is now began to see I am not crazy and that there is so much beauty and virtue in me.
It is also clear between us that I want monogamy and a committment to be together{  if we are going to come together again} SO when he is ready to do this he has to now show me, and court me again. As difficult as this is , I am staying still, for I know he is a quality man.
Wish me luck girls!!! 
 
Sea

Reply

Cherry Norris January 4, 2013 at 4:30 pm

Yay, Sea! You got it 🙂
Love, Cherry

Reply

Leave a Comment

 

Previous post:

Next post: