If you're a smart, fun and vibrant woman, you're my kind of gal.
You look and feel much younger than your age …
So you certainly don't want to end up with an old, boring man. (Nor should you have to!)
The problem is, when you meet a younter man who's sexy and smart, the first thing you think is, "he could have any '20-30 something-hard-body' he wants so why would he want me?"
The truth is, there are MANY reasons a younger man would want you and today's video shows you why.
If you're attracted to younger men and are concerned about body issues or "being too old," you must see this now.
When I first met my younger husband, I had concerns about my age. He didn't. But don't just take it from me …
Hear it straight from a man's POV and believe me … you can never hear this enough!
Leave a comment below and let me know how you feel!
Love,
Cherry
{ 108 comments… read them below or add one }
You rock, Cherry! I love these video vignettes. You pack a lot of substance into them. And…it’s all true. I’ve been following relationship experts for quite a while. You, my dear, are among them. You know your stuff, and thanks for teaching us. ~ Gloria
Thank you, Gloria!
Really appreciate your comments. So happy you’re enjoying the videos
Love, Cherry
Cherry, so glad I found this site! For Wanda, below, I am 45 and he is 28…..yet people think he is older and I am younger, all in how our mannerisms are together and how our maturity levels are..I say GO FOR IT and enjoy it while you can! It is very well accepted for older men/younger women, so why not for older women/younger men? ENJOY.
Great video. I look a lot younger plus I have a young attitude but this video reinforces what I knew. But where do you meet younger men who have their life together and not just looking for a fling?
Thank you for having a man's perspective on this issue. It's nice to hear that some men actually do want more in a relationship and can appreciate inner qualities. I find energetic attraction so much more important than anything…
However, I was told my a man that was flirting and there was a mutual attraction. But he told me that the age difference wasn't an issue now, but when we would get older it would make a difference and he didn't want to go through that. I'm 48 and he's 31.
That made me realize that though I may look and act young now, aging is a real issue in such a relationship… and to be honest, it made me feel old. Oh well…. thanks. <3
Cherry
I feel you are super and u do cover a lot with the little short videos. I love the younger man older woman. It was great, however I am feeling my gap is too much. I have been dating a guy who is 26 and I am 51 we have been dating three months
Wonderful Cherry
Spots on!!!
Thanks Shoshi!
Love, Cherry
Whoa, Cherry, I needed to hear that so much! … Because I’d never really found all the wrinkles till I found myself around a younger man. This confirmation that (obviously) I have other attractions!
Thank you for being a friend.
Tina
Yay, Tina!
Love this!
Love, Cherry
Hi Cherry,
I have usually dated younger men than I am, and married a man 7 years my junior. I always wondered why! Now I know!
Thanks!
Anne (Kentucky girl)
Kentucky girl!
Thanks for your comments and for tuning in!
Love, Cherry (Tennessee girl!)
Super duper Cherry!
Thanks, Kate!
Love, Cherry
Thanks Cherry. At age 53, I have been hit on by younger men.. 30′s, 40′s.. but shyed away. Thinking that they just wanted sex and not a relationship. To be honest the men in their 50′s and 60′s are kind of set in their ways, some looking much older as well as acting like old men. So this video has helped in the fact that age should not be a factor when I am looking for a relationship. Once again.. thanks
Suzanne
You got it, Suzanne!
Love, Cherry
I sometimes worry that I am being compared with stunning younger women by men of my own age….
Now, if a man of your age sometimes talks in a fun away about hotly fancying younger women to his male friends (and this gets back to you via chance conversation with someone else) rather than about women his own age , but actually wants to spend time with you… Does he feel he is making some sort of compromise..to get the confidence and the quality of conversation he wants he has to put up with an older body too??? Or if he had the choice would he want to go out with much younger women?
NO way to know I know …!
That’s right, Kate.
You can only be who you are. Most men want it all … however your man will know he wants you!
Love, Cherry
HI Cherry,
I wanted to share a story with you. I had dinner last night with a very happily married couple (14 years). The husband is a strong, masculine, assertive man, and yet, he was so overwhelmed by his wife when they met at a party that he corresponded with her by email for three months before asking her out! He simply did not believe this beautiful woman was attracted to him. She was crazy frustrated, so she sent him a present on Valentine’s Day and he still didn’t get it! Finally, his friends, who could see that she liked him, shamed him into asking her for a date. He is handsome and NOT insecure. Yet if she hadn’t been aggressive, there would be no marriage (and 2 beautiful children) today. What do we do when faced with men like this??
Great story, Karrie!
Thanks for sharing! “Patience, patience, patience.” That is the mantra when dating men b/c you never know. Men who move slower may be taking courtship very seriously!
Love, Cherry
Perfect timing for me to hear this message. I met a man who is a dream! I am very interested in him and he in me. We are making an amazing connection. The issue (my issue) is that he’s 7 years younger than me. Those thoughts about not being that young anymore keep crossing my mind. He doesn’t seem to mind the age difference at all. I am the one making it a big deal. This video helped me push those concerns away! Thank you Cherry!
Wonderful Maria!
So happy to hear this video helped you with these concerns!
Love, Cherry
Maria, when I first met the father of my child (10 and a half years younger than me, handsome, sexy, intelligent), I had the same issues about my age. I was a 42 years-old alpha woman, looking much younger, but I used to scare the hell out of men my age, who were, anyway, either married, womanisers, or not ready to commit.
With him it was love at first sight. We talked for 6 hours on our first date and one month later we were living together. Our wonderful daughter was born after two years. That was 6 years ago.
You already wrote it: these issues are yours, not necessarily his. When I asked him: "why me, if you could have prettier, younger girls?" , he told me: "I had them already.. been there, done that. Now I want something more: you".
Although that relationship has ended, for a number of reasons – nothing to do with our ages-, we are still friends and responsible, caring parents. I feel now better and even younger, open to the future, and not interested anymore in men close to my age.
How fun to hear it directly from a young man! Great idea.
Now then. please arrange for me to be in the line of vision with your guest speaker so that I may practice my 6 second smile on him
Heidi,
Thanks for your note! Brent will love hearing this!
Love, Cherry
Dear Cherry,
I am 56. I’ve been divorced for 30 years.Except for my ex-husband
I had always had serious relationships with men in the range 3-17
years younger than me.It helps that I do fashion modeling for a
living and I do have a great body/I do speed ice skating/.I can say
that it’s not just the physical connection dealing with younger men,
it is more the emotional connection that comes from a younger mind,
not yet disillusioned and cynical with life,who is happy to be with
an older woman, radiating confidence and elegance.
Jasmina
Love it, Jasmina!
And soooo true. The emotional connection with a younger man is fabulous!
Love, Cherry
Dear Cherry:
Please speak a bit about men who have been Burned by love, and are still Very wary.
I know someone like this, Very sweet, (but doesn’t really trust women.)
I appreciate your comments So much.
Thanks,
S.
Sue,
This is a great topic for a future Q & A. Thanks for submitting it!
Love, Cherry
Unlike most men my age, I prefer dating age appropriate women. Of course, the young hard body is fun for a couple of hours, but the 50 somethings have experience, maturity, sensibility, and generally know what they want and how to get it. And they are more fun – to me.
Hey Happy,
Thanks for validating “older women” from another man’s POV!
Love, Cherry
I'd like to add that there are also more cultural references to pull you together.
I have been interested in younger men all my life. When I was sixteen, I was dating a thirteen-year-old. But now at 68, although my face looks like it’s 50, I am being pursued by a man who just turned 30. He has told me to get in shape physically since I’m seriously overweight due to depression. I’m teetering. There is a THIRTY-EIGHT YEAR age difference here!! Should I tell him? I think he’s judging by my face that I’m fifty.
Diana,
Thanks for your note! Love this! No, you don’t need to tell him your age until he asks. If he’s not asking, he’s not bothered!
Carry on!!
Love, Cherry
I miss you Cherry…love your little videos. It’s good to see you from time to time…love the truth you speak. Julia
Miss you too, Julia!
We must speak soon
Love, Cherry
Thanks Cherry! This is so helpful and timing. I recently met a man 11 years younger than me and could not understand why he would want someone my age. Your video gives me more confidence and I love that you included the man’s perspective! After years of dating older men, I am certainly setting my sights on younger men!
Karyn,
Thanks for your note. Happy to hear the video gives you more confidence!
Carry on!
Love, Cherry
Thanks,gives me hope and courage to feel good about myself.
From the ex spouse who was 9 years younger to the current partner who is 6 years younger, I can tell you it is fun, fun, fun. If they had issues with your age, they wouldn’t be there. If they don’t have them, you shouldn’t either. Carpe diem.
Mom of 3 adult children….
This guys viewpoint is wonderful but isn’t he a rarity?
No, not in my experience! After a wonderful marriage with a 12-yr. younger husband, I stayed out of relationships for way too long. Now, my two lovers are eight and 14 yrs. younger and Iʻm loving it! As Iʻm 66, they are no youngsters, so any qualms I might have about my aging self also apply to them. Yes, they might notice my sags, but, guess what? Theyʻve got sags, too! I recently went out with a guy my age and it felt like I was with my gramps. I need someone a good deal younger if he is to have any chance of keeping up with me, so, I keep myself slim and healthy and have lots of young friends. Age is not a barrier.
Cherry,
Thanks! I have always been attracted to younger men but didn’t quite know why they were so interested in me! This video–especially the part with your dashing husband, really made so much sense! Cherry you are the best!
Love,
Tina
Hi Cherry,
Thanks for a great video. It helps to hear from a man why they are attracted to older women. I am a ‘young’ 54 year old who finds men my age much ‘older’ than I. I am attracted to younger men, but have been hesitant to date them, wondering why they would want an older woman. Now that I’ve heard from a man what the attraction is for them, I won’t hesitate when the opportunity comes along. Thanks again.
Pam
I keep wondering when to break it off with my boyfriend who is 13 years my junior. He is wonderful, filled with joy, kindness and fun, but I think this has to end and I should do it before my heart is broken. I just don’t want to stay in a relationship that I feel is bound not to work out. Thanks for the video….georgie
This is 9 months later so I will ask: What did you do? Are you still in the relationship? I am in a relationship with a man that is 21 years younger than I am. I think if you just want to enjoy every moment then just live in the present. But, on the other hand, if you are looking for a "partnership" then maybe, and just maybe, you may want to look elsewhere? Everything has to end eventually. Older women are more aware of that but don't dwell on it.
Yes, Pat! I’m still in my relationship. Enjoy yours!
Hi Cherry,
In the past I’ve mostly dated older women, 5 to 10yrs, and enjoyed it greatly when I was in my 20′s&30′s, also married an older woman for all the reasons discussed in this video. However, now that I’m in my mid 40′s I would have to say they have been some of the most difficult women to date. Rather than be relaxed and enjoy the dating journey with a smile most here, San Franisco Bay Area, I’ve met seem to feel that time is running out, don’t want to compete with younger women and as a result “want to have you commit rather quickly”. In essence that confidence that was once so sexy seems shaken due to time and now rather than exuding that playful confident attitude it’s been replaced with lack of humor&easygoingness that I found so appealing before. That saying 9lder&Set in her ways” rings true and I know understand why a lot of men go for younger women,,way more easygoing for the most part. My father was from Hollywood and dated many beautiful women,including quite a few playboy bunnies, however he married a wonderful lady 12yrs older who was goodlooking BUT also incredibly playful&fun…that combo is one that is hard to beat and highly desired…wish more of the older ladies understtod that..yes you are going to compete with younger women,yes we are going to look, but if you fun,easygoing,attractive and make me feel like the only man in the world I will choose you everytime over the playboy bunney!
So …
she should make you feel like the only man in the world … but you're not going to return the favor and make her feel like the only woman in yours …?
Um — okay??
:-/
I’ve been with a man ten years younger than I for over 14 years. He calls me “supermodel,” loves my body, doesn’t know my real age (I’m 71). Unfortunately, the attraction is purely physical, and I still hope to meet the man of my dreams who shares my passion for travel, my interest in metaphysics, is spiritual and educated like me. Do you think I still have a chance? I’ve tried online dating sites, written down what I’m looking for in a man, but so far, no luck, and sometimes I feel time’s running out. I have longevity on both sides of the family and will probably live for at least another 20 years, but I want so much to share the rest of my life with a special man. I’m not necessarily interested in marriage, having already been married once (I have a 36 year old son who’s a physician, married, and the father of two little girls). Cristina
Cherry, I am so happy to hear the mans POV. I agree. I am also no longer in my 40s and still have a great style to attract younger men. Now, time to learn how to keep one! Thanks for you site!!
Wow, this was great, and makes me feel so much better. I have felt so unsure about the way younger men are attracted to me, but maybe now I can appreciate it and even go for it without that feeling of an unsure future with such a man. Thankyou Cherry!
I love this!! I am often approached by younger men. One guy was even 23 years younger than me! I never understood their attraction and am so glad to know that it’s genuine. Honestly, I’ve turned a couple of hotties down because it seemed to odd. I’ll surely rethink that!!
Thank you so much and your male “POV” is gorgeous:)
God he’s hot, I want one of those. Im going to not turn the other way when I see a younger man look at me now, dont know about this 6 second smile others are talking about but I certainly will smile (even though I feel an old fool when some dont smile back, I sort of feel like a pick up woman). Im a young 52, cute, smart, funny and drive in me that could move mountains if I beleive in something. I have been seperated for two years now and I’m ready for love again. Im ready TO love again. Cherry your making a difference in my life with the videos, thanks
Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments!
Love hearing your stories and knowing you’re broadening your romantic choices by opening up to dating younger men!
Carry on girls … and thanks for the validations, gentlemen!
Love, Cherry
Cherry, this is wonderful. thank you so much. I am a very young 52 year old
and for the past 2 years been dating two younger men seriously; 1 is 13 years younger than myself (I am in love with; though not sure he feels the same way??) and one is 19 years younger than myself. The latter we have so much fun together both physically and emotionally there is a great attraction. His age is fun and I think our ages compliment one another. I am not attracted to him because he is only 33; I am attracted to him as a person and his youth is a part of that. A man at my age could be attractive to me as well but he has to have what I desire in a man. I find very few men my age that have that. So many of them let themselves go. It is so sad. So I am having the best days of my life at 52 and plan on having them for the rest of my life. 
Thanks Cherry. You have made a difference in my life regarding this area especially and it was very much needed.
Cherry, maybe you can help me with this. Cute younger men at my gym make lots of eye contact with me. But when I look back and smile, and then look at them to catch their eye at random times, they eventually completely withdraw and close up. It’s as if they only like me if I don’t show them I like them. I’ve decided, sadly, to stop trying. What do you think I should do?
I have the same problem Robin has.
I don’t think it’s uncommon at all.
I wonder if it's shyness or not knowing how to handle it. I had a similar issue with a young barrista recently. I see him several times a week when I get my morning coffee. I didn't really notice him until he started smiling at me and being nice (like doing my coffee ahead of the queue if it was very busy). Then I noticed how cute (and very young) he was. However, I'm seeing a guy 22 years younger and am developing a taste for younger men : ) When I started smiling back, though, he suddenly started avoiding eye contact and I concluded he was embarrassed that I was taking an interest i.e. it seemed I'd misread the signals …. until … I went on holiday for 5 weeks. When I got back he not only served me but engaged me in conversation for the first time, noting I'd been away for a long time, etc. So, that got me wondering. Who knows but I think these siutations are not as straight forward as they would be if the age difference wasn't so apparent.
I am currently dating a man 14 yrs younger (I’m 42 he is 28) than I. He doesn’t believe I’m my age, he thought I was 28!! I NEVER thought I would date a younger man. But this man adores me, doesn’t care about my age and we have a wonderful connection and lot in common. Being that I am very experienced in dating adn have been single for a long time, I am very sympathetic to his need to go out with the buddies or his friends. I never try to come between that. He appreciates that. Men my age seem to be broken, bitter and mean or are getting divorced looking to spread themselves like butter (LOL!). The funny thing is, he is more successful than I am and makes more money. I am so COOL with that. I think the key to success with a younger man, is patience and understanding. Making him feel like he is in charge. We older women can mold these young men to be better men.
Amen, Sister!
Wonderful story. Thanks so much for sharing!
Love, Cherry
Thanks for the video Cherry! I'll be marrying my boyfriend 12 years younger than me next year after my previous marriage gets annuled. He asked me! I'm so happy and he's really serious about marrying me caused he already told my Mom. My daughter from my previous marriage loves him and wants him to be her Dad. Before I had qualms why he would want someone like me…now I understand why. Your video made me feel more confident about myself. Thanks again.
Congratulations, Pillow!
Where do I find a nice young man like this one in your video? Seems like men forgot how to be men…
Dear Cherry:
Your thoughts and insights are so wonderful!,- I do think it's hard still- to
imagine- in a marriage to a younger man- if your energy or pace would be
enough for him- (if you love him,- you'd never want to let him down or dissappoint him-)
especially if the age difference is quite a bit.
I'd love to hear more from you on this topic, Cherry,- You are fabulous!
Happy Paris and always,
Sue
I recently turned away a much younge
man, I got cold feet. When we tried again
he got cold feet and pulled away. Lack of
confidece…very contagious
My husband is almost 11 yrs younger and I am scared that he will eventually desire a younger model. I'm more nervous about the possibility of cheating than leaving because he knows I am a good woman .
Thank you for this. Ever since I split up with my ex-husband in 2005, I could not understand why, all of a sudden, I had all of these guys interested in me and all significantly younger. It wasn´t me coming on to them, quite the opposite.
I have also come to realise, I am not really into guys my own age. They are like dinosaurs (except one maybe, he´s an artist and that has still to be realised …)
Thank you for your short vid. Explains a lot.
Love and Hugs,
Averil
XxX
I so really needed to hear this. Although I have heard it from the young man with whom I have been involved with, just needed to hear it again…lol My problem is I find myself advising him or acting like his mother. He posed the question to me…"Do you want to be my mother or my lover? I thought that was a fair question..my answer was a little bit of both…LOL just kidding!
i'm 23 and attracted to old women maybe i`ll plan to marry one in the future
I have been with my husband for 11 years. We were married in 2001 when I was 51 and he was 29. This is after he courted me for seven years. It took him that long to convince me that he was not crazy in the head or just weird. Society sets these stereo-types. My husband and find that we are a good blend of intelligence, friendship and companionship. I am so pleased to see your video and find that I am not the only one out there. Thank you.
Hi Cherry, first time I'd ever seen anything like this and thank you. I've known this man for about 15 years. Never knew he was interested in me until this year he messaged me via facebook to say he's crushed on me all these years. Unfortunately, I've moved states away. At first his texts were full force. Saying he wanted me to move back and so on and so forth. Lately, I've been the one initiating texts or comments. Should I assume he is no longer interested and move on? I too started thinking only of my appearance once I found out he was interested. He says he knows what I look like and he thinks I'm sexy. Let me know what you think. Thanks, JJ
Hi cherry and all of you
I do love my man,13yrs younger never thought i wld be with him for a year already,i have been married and have two boys 13,11 he is still adjusting to them lol ,they act up whn he is around and give him a really hard time, he said im in for a while. As a women 39
ugg im adjusting to us trust and commitment
He requires a lot of attention sometimes i cant gives. It too him i do feel bad .. im too busy witnh the boys and my own buisness. So cheating is a concern in my head for him.. sometimes i dont want too ask wht he is doing.. but do we ever know? ever
cherry thanx for being you.
Hi Cherry,
Thank you for your wonderful videos. I always get so much out of them. This one, especially, resonanted with me. I am a very young 50 and am dating for the first time in many years. I find a lot of younger men are very attracted to me. I have not found men my age or older attractive. I'm sure there are some out there that I could be attracted to, I just haven't found them yet!! I was starting to think there is something wrong with me because these older men are very nice, high quality men and there is just no chemistry for me. Thank you for giving the male POV. It helped me see that I do have a lot to offer a younger man.
"Elegance, grace, confidence." So THAT's it, huh? No wonder people tell me I have the perfect "girl" walk, even though I'm 50-ish! Men marry Venusian sweetness. That means, the older you get, and the more dependent you become on other people to do things for you, the sweeter you have to be, so they will WANT to! So I've gotten good at being sweet to everyone I meet, from CEOs to busboys. You never know when Mr. Right will spot your behavior out of the corner of his eye. He could be making a decision about you right then and there, while you're focused on some other interaction.
WOW!! Your video from a mans viewpoint really boosted my spirits. I am 55 . My husband who is 11 yrs. younger than me is forever telling me what a gorgeous body I have, and is forever trying to reassure me that the age difference doesn't bother him. He once told me that younger women are too immature with child-like personalities and they really annoy him. He is always trying to tell me he loves the TOTAL package, your video helped me to better understand what my husband has been trying to tell me. Thank you for sharing this video with us.
That’s so great, Linda!!
hi thanks for your help..am surprise when younger men want to know me or date me. i am around 40 and younger looking female. sometimes i just wonder why me? as i know there are nice young girls out of the younger men. this video did help..but am still bit un easy…
once again am asked to go out on date with guy who is in 20s ..and wow..not sure if i should go for it..or just be pure friend to him..he is sweet.
you have a good day
prettylady
Oh this is so good to hear! I have just been in a long miserable relationship with a guy my own age (34) and he had more baggage than an airline.. ex's, kids, debts… 6 months after I called it a day, I met a gorgeous 26 year old and he is everything I could want. Not cynical about life, still ambitious, very eager to please me, compliments me all the time, chilled out, wants to travel but sees himself settling down in 2-3 years… I, however, am nervous about the age gap and since he is so hot I was wondering why he finds me attractive when there are so many girls his own age that would jump at the chance to go out with him. But now I'm starting to understand, I'm fun-loving, but not reckless, although a little out of shape, I am confident in my own skin, and I know what I want out of life.. not playing games! I guess this is why he's sticking around… Thanks.
Wonderful, Bex!
After ending a 12 yr. relationship with a now 44 yr old and I 41. Not even a month later (i know it may sound like rebound but i honestly was not looking) i felt some very attractive eyes on me. I found myself asking is he really looking at me???? It was not the kind of setting where you just start talking. He walked up to approach me and we said hello and exchanged business cards. I knew he looked younger but to my suprise 14 yrs….. it has now been 3 months.. We have the best dinners,conversations and the intimacy is AMAZING… I try not to worry too much where this will end up long or short term. I have asked him why me? He tells me that I have everytbing he has looked for inside and out… He loves my confidence in what i want, my curves and tells me also he did not want to play games with women his age…. At this point I going with it… he has not once lied to me and is so in to me and what I am tbinking… I will just see what happens.. We tell eachother that we love each other and he reminds me often when he wants to talk long term that his heart knows what it wants and that is me…. sounds like a fantasy but it is real as it gets.
Yay TIc!
I enjoyed watching the video clip of one man's perspective. Online I get approached by numerous much younger men – even teenagers! (I'm 50) I used to be quite suspicious of their motives – perhaps they were just wanting that particular notch on their headboard i.e. to have bedded a cougar, but there was no real attraction. So now I always ask the ones I'm interested in about their motives. Here's a reply from one guy which is consistent with the video clip:
"Well, an experienced woman is a major turn on for me… they are direct and know what they want…… I find there's an accumulated sexiness to an older woman.. as opposed to a younger version who might look sexy, but doesn't exude it through experience."
I've now been seeing this 28-year-old for several months. He doesn't seem to mind I don't have the body of a 25-year-old and I make an effort not to act overly self-conscious about it. We have a lot of fun with lingerie, too….
Glad to hear it from the man… I’m confident about my body but this helps reinforce my thoughts and confidence…this is new to me. I usually date guys my age or older and I never give yngr guys a second though, but lately yngr men have been bombarding me with attention..So I’m at the point.. Y not..
Thank you continued Blessing
Love <3
Hi Cherry
Please Help! What brings me here today a 43 old man contacted me via an online dating site I am a member of. I didn't know what to say! I have never been in this situation.
I’ve been married twice before both men my age. Maybe that might a good clue not to date men my age! LOL
I wondered why me? He told me he likes older woman and have dated woman in there 60’s. I'm a 56 year old woman, cute, fun to be with, with a pretty healthy sex drive! I just don't know what to do!
We've chatted back and forth a few times now. I did ask him why did you decide to contact me…his answer was, my smile, have a good sense of humor and I lived nearby. I somewhat discouraged him but he asked if we can be friends…I said yes. He said we could go out to dinner…movies etc…. But now what do I do!
I find myself interested in him but then my rational side of me comes out! I did tell him I thought we are in two different places and I didn’t think we’d fit in to one another’s. He didn’t see it that way.
I need some imput please..I don't have anyone else I could talk to this about!
Thank you so much!
Suzan
P.S. He's a firefighter and that alone puts a twinkle in my eye!
Wonderful news, Susan!!
Just go for it!
Put your fears & judgments aside and enjoy the fact he finds you so desirable.
Most of all, have fun
Love, Cherry
Hi Cherry,
Thanks for this. I have fallen for someone the same age as my son. After working with him for almost 3 years, he made a pass at me. I was thrilled and terrified because I had fallen for him long before he made the pass. Reader's Digest version here…it didn't go far because of our work relationship, but the way he looks at me sometimes, it's the way someone who really cares and wants to be close. He said he has always been attracted to older women (he is almost 26 yrs younger than me) and "really likes" me, but he holds back. What do I make of this?
I was going to stop working with him, but the weekend I decided this, my son died quite unexpectedly. The only time I feel sane and whole is when I'm near this incredibly handsome, sexy, kind man. How do I get him out of my head and my heart?
Hi Cherry,
JUST HIT 40 OMG.. PANIC ATTACK.. I loved this video and it really made me feel better. But I'm struggling with my age since I don't look or feel it. I turned 40 while on vacation with my 28 yr old "friend". How we got here… We've known each other for 3 years and his 8yr relationship recently ended..(he got dumped for the last time) although it was heading that way for a while now. His ex has moved on but he is still grieving. Since I have been there for him as a friend, he approached me because he felt comfortable with me and asked me to have a sexual relationship with him (friends with benefits). I gave it a lot of thought and made him wait a month and then said yes. Everything with him is amazing but after this trip I have undoubtedly fallen for him. Since I was feeling the "why me – physically" thing we talked and he said the only reason he would not date me seriously was my age, to reassure me he likes me in every other way. He only knows roughly my age btw. He says he doesn't want to "feel" for someone again right now and I know it may be too soon for him.. officially it's only been 3 months.. but we are so good together. I fear I will lose him since he is not ready and I won't be able to hide my feelings for too long. I know now that it is ok to think of him seriously thanks to you.. but I don't know what to do. I haven't met a man this good in 20 years. Maybe it wouldn't matter anyway, if he truly has an issue with my age, but there is no denying there is a great connection there. I know it is not impossible for him to fall in love again so soon but.. what to do?? Am I doomed??
I am a 59 year old woman…I look mid-forties…very attractive, fun, progressive, march to my own drum…not interested in dating men my age — I just cannot relate. A good age for me is between 45 – 48…can't seem to find them, meet them…it's frustrating! When I do meet men, and they find out that biologically I am 59, they cannot believe it …. but then the distancing starts. I should not be forced to lie about my age and yet I feel I have to sometimes…. I have so much to offer…..WHERE do I meet compatible men???
Hi Cherry, I recently met this this guy that is 16 years younger and he is soooo into me I cannot get him away from me. We met while on vacation. He attached himself to my sister and I and he would not give up. He is wonderful, his personality is amazing. He has stayed in touch with me since the trip. The only problem is that I'm scared of the age difference. I'm 34 and he is 18
While on the trip he treated me with respect and didn't even try to kiss me. Which I appreciated. He lives in a different state then me so we've been keeping in touch on the phone and he told me that he has fallen in love with me. I don't know what to do. Please help! He tells me that age is just a number and it doesn't bother him at all… I'm just soo worried because he is 18!!!!!. I'm very careful what I tell him because I don't want to give him false hope. I feel that maybe if he was at least 20 it wouldn't bother me so much because he has lives a little but 18? HELP!
Hi Cherry, thank you so much for these tips, l am 53 years old but look mid 40′s because of my clear skin. I do carry myself with confidence the way l dress and walk but that has come with maturity and confidence over the past few years from various life experiences and life lessons. I have been very close friends for a while with a guy who is 12 years younger than myself and we click so well, we have through the same pain of domestic violence which in case his ex bested him and mistreated their son, he has suffered loss, sadness like myself, he is spiritual like myself and his mother is a gifted medium, my mother was gifted but is deceased, he is a gifted artist, painter, very creative and plays the lead guitar and is so gifted at that too. We both share arty and musical talent, we talk for hours about Spiritual things and we have experienced the same spiritual things happened to both of us good and bad, we are both into ghost hunting, going to old historical places to explore, we love architecture, history and military history, we both want to explore old haunted buildings and use equipment to get our findings, he doesn’t want any more children as he’s happy with the son he has and l have a beautiful 18 year son from a previous marriage. He believes beauty is inside not on the outside but tells me l am gorgeous even more so without makeup. He is a rare very close friend, his father was Australian but his Mother was Asian, he has been brought up not to be materialistic and see people for who they are. he is happy to watch a jazz or blues band in a quiet corner, l have never met a man who thinks, acts like l do, it is too scarey and its like the Angels and our Spirit Guides are arranging something for us to be together as a couple in the future, he works hard as technical engineer at Qantas in Melbourne and he has numerous properties that has been left to him from family and that is not what l am used to as l struggled financially all my life. I am going to take baby steps as it seems too good to be true.
Cherry,
You are SO smart and funny!
Yah baby…we got it!! lol
Thank you!
Very much:))
Cherry, I LOVE this!
I wrote my "100th Birthday Speech" with the FULL intention of being up, and able to deliver it, on stage, to all my family, friends and co-workers. I have envisioned a MUCH younger husband/partner with me. I don't believe I'll retire; at 50 I finally am just starting to do what I LOVE. Yes, I've loved being a wife and mother, not the same! I was widowed 10 years ago. I've had a many flings, and a couple of longer term relationships.
I am VERY attracted to younger men. I am constantly being hit on by men my oldest child's age, or maybe just a few years older. My BIGGEST issue with the younger men is they either have NEVER had kids and think they still might like some ( ummm NOT happening!) or they HAVE younger kids and quite frankly I've raised my 5 and I'm TIRED of raising children. My youngest will be 18 in a few months and I will be DONE with the child rearing.
Can you speak to THIS?
Hi Cherry, thank you for your great tip and I really enjoyed the Video. I have never attractive to a younger man and I find out most man are not grow up even older man. I've met some older and some younger, but none of them are a real man. I do not know if any good man out there????? I'm not looking for perfect ( there is not) only good , I mean real good .
Please don't judge the men you haven't met yet, by the ones you have, or might possibly one day! And, if you are looking for the perfect man – you will be waiting a LONG time!
Hi, cherry, Thank you for your nice video. I am dating a younger man right now. You help me know a lot about why a young man like older woman.
Hello Cherry, my BFF sent me your blog on older woman with younger men…my boyfriend of two yrs is only 38 but i am 66 yrs old, we have the best relationship. He's very handsome, is 6' tall, was a trainer at a gym and has a super body and a dynamite personality to match. It took me a long time to understand why he is with me when he could have any young girl with a body and no wrinkles of youth, but he said that wasn't why he fell in love with me it was that i was perfect for him. Will we last forever, who knows in any relationship, but what i have resigned to do is be happy for today and not worry about when i am 80 and he's only 50, who knows he could still be here with me! Thank you! Jezabel
Hi Cherry! I do like younger men, I tend to avoid dating older men because I already had one father/dad, and that was enough for me. I'm a firstborn, and I have never liked older men. I'm in love wirh a younger, creative man who has a lot of the qualities I have failed to find in other men. He says he loves me, but its long distance , and he works a lot on his creative venture. And I am long past staying in my area, the social scene for over 40's isn't there, and I have looked for friends to go out with, but people are either couples or have established friends. I wish I had some answers..This is not working for me and it seems plan b will now be going through the other letters of the alphabet as well. Something needs to change, and where I'm living is one of them, I don't think people can be changed.. I need ideas and suggestions, I may be over 40, but I don't want to give up on having a life that works and is right for me..
Hello Marta S. I became a member of Meetup.com Sometimes we Meetup to dine,listen to a local tribute band, hike or BBQ.Lots of fun! ,Linda
Cherry, I just started chatting with a guy online who is 18 years younger. And is anxious for us to meet! I asked him if he had dated older women before and he said he dated a woman that is 5 years older then I. I feel with him being a an ex-Sailor, a Dad and having a responsible job, that he is more immature then some of the older men I have met/dated! I agree with some of the other women about not having the body that a younger woman does, but your video helped me to see that isn't all they are looking for – but for our minds and knowledge and what we can bring into the relationship! Thanks Again, Anita
I am in a fairly new relationship with a terrific man who is five years younger. That certainly isn't a big range but I still have had concerns and felt a little insecure about it at times. So this was a nice boost to read. Accepting that he chose me- what a lovely message, thank you.
hi cherry, thanks so much for that video on older women and younger men. i also cannot stand the old pot-bellied geezers or the ones who have signs they are heading in that direction. i am 70,fit,very pretty, and sexy. but the younger men sometimes do not want us permanently,because when we are 90 they will be….what?……60?…..70?……?
i had one experience in which my chronological age was a big factor and he could not handle it and was ashamed to let others in his family know we went out, because he could never make it lasting….he needed their approval. we broke up.
i have many men who are in their 30's and up who are interested, but even the ones in their early 50's i am now afraid to date, because of my last experience. At this age, i do not have time to spend a year or 6 months with someone and then find out my age is a factor and we cannot be permanent. i do want a permanent relationship one day either live-in or marriage.I feel they have to know our real ages, because that number might make a big difference suddenly to them.
what do women feel about the following?
1)how do women out there feel about introducing a man to their chidren and their sons who are older than my BF?
2)we are ready for semi-retirement or full, and want to have privacy in the house ( sex! walking around naked!) but these young men have teens or kids who live at home that need bringing up. but we have been there/done that!
3)we are also ready to get up and travel. but now our man cannot go, since he is still into building a career, and cannot take off the time yet…we are done with that, at age 70.
yeti cannot stand the lack of muscle tone,the lack of health, the old thinking, etc. that the older men have!!!
how do women feel about these above issues?
i am looking at reality here.
i know they find us attracitve, confident, sexy, we know who we are, but what about the above issues?
I NEED TO SAY THIS ALSO, ABOUT VERY YOUNG MEN WHO WANT TO DATE US. I MEAN THE GUY IN HIS EARLY 30'S WHO WANTS A WOMAN 30+ YRS OLDER. FROM MY ONLINE EXPERIENCE, THEY USUALLY WANT A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP, AND THEY HAVE ADMITTED IT TO ME. THEY WANT AN EXPERIENCED OLDER WOMAN TO TEACH THEM AND UPON WHOM THEY CAN PRACTICE. NO ,NOT EVERY ONE OF THEM, BUT A LOT I HAVE HAD CONTACT WITH.
I HAVE A NEW FRIEND WHO IS AN EXCEPTION. HE IS A VERY FINE PERSON, BUT I CANNOT SEE A LIFETIME PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO IS 32 YRS YOUNGER, AND IF I WENT TO BED WITH HIM, IT WOULD BE A GREAT DISSERVICE TO HIM, FOR HE IS REALLY INTO ME – HE REALLY LIKES ME A LOT, AND HE WOULD GET TOO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED AND THEN I WOULD HAVE TO SAY NO, NOT FOREVER ,SORRY,I TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE. IT WOULD DEPRIVE HIM OF HIS YOUTH, OF POSSIBLY BEING A DAD, AND HE WOULD HAVE TO SKIP OVER ALL THOSE YEARS INTO SEMI- RETIREMENT MODE WITH ME. AND I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TOO FAR, BECAUSE ALTHO IT KEEPS US YOUNG TO A DEGREE, IT ALSO DEPRIVES US OF OUR HARD EARNED RETIREMENT YEARS, SINCE WE HAVE TO BE CHAINED TO A JOB AND CAREER AGAIN THRU HIS CAREER NEEDS. TOO BIG AN AGE DIFFERENCE.
I CAN SEE 10 YEARS EASILY. I CAN EVEN SEE 15. 20, NOT THAT SURE- IT DOES NOT FEEL RIGHT BUT DEPENDS ONTHE MAN.
IF IT WERE SOMEONE I LIKED BUT DID NOT THINK HIGHLY OF, I WOULD HOP INTO BED, HAVE SOME FUN, AND SAY GOODBYE ONE DAY, ALL THE WHILE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE REAL THNG.
Hello,
Thank you for this site.
I'm currently being courted by a 34 year old darling man and I'm 48. I'm holding myself back because I've never been with someone this young before. He's kind, we have the same values. We also "click" as he says and we are open and honest with each other. He's fun, compliments me a lot, and always there for me.
I am just scared that I may fall too deep in love and I'd be hurt again… my ex-husband was 15 years older than me. And now, I'm in a complete age opposite. Ah, life, these are the cards I've been dealt with.
Friends have told me to enjoy it… but for me to fully enjoy it, I need to completely let go and just fall in love. Become vulnerable. I've been hurt too many times and I don't know if my heart can take another break up. I know, I should think more positive from all the wonderful posts in here.
Thank you for the validation that age is just a number because he makes me happy and I know I make him happy.
We've liked each other now for almost 6 months… no sex and I know he's not just after sex with me because he hasn't pressured or even hinted of sex.
Oh boy, okay, here we go! falling! falling! falling in love…
Jessica
Jessica, if you can, enjoy only, but please dont fall in love ,when you re older is more difficult to recover…
Jessica,
Thanks so much for the honest and the emtional comments.
I have only begun to message a sweet young man (47); I am (61) .
He connected with me on a dating site, and I am flattered by his complimets to me.
But, OMG ! I am SO anxious ! I refuse to be his "sugar mommy" !
I sent him a message this morning to let him the hook; I have no idea what his response will be.
Thanks for your honesty.
I wish you all the happiness you seek,
Debi
Hi i just broke up with my boyfriend he was 30 me 55 and ….never again awful experience ,after one year of dating most of it only sleeping together ,he wasnt experienced at all sexwise ,and no comunication between us ,…i will never repeat it again . Best guys to date your own age maybe 7-8 years younger no much more…i would'nt recommend . At least you have something to talk..
Hi, now I don’t consider myself that old yet but at 33 I am attracted to a young man of 24. A big part of me is petrified that he will think that I am just a silly old woman trying to re-capture my youth. I promise you this is not the case. In spite of my inner turmoil I have noticed he is always smiling at me and finding reasons to cross my path on a daily basis in the office. I wonder if he is just not too young right now. … hope it makes sense.
Thank you for a wonderful insightful video.