Why Younger Men Date Older Women …

by Cherry Norris on November 9, 2011

If you're a smart, fun and vibrant woman, you're my kind of gal.

You look and feel much younger than your age …

So you certainly don't want to end up with an old, boring man. (Nor should you have to!)

The problem is, when you meet a younter man who's sexy and smart, the first thing you think is, "he could have any '20-30 something-hard-body' he wants so why would he want me?"

The truth is, there are MANY reasons a younger man would want you and today's video shows you why.

If you're attracted to younger men and are concerned about body issues or "being too old," you must see this now.

When I first met my younger husband, I had concerns about my age. He didn't. But don't just take it from me …

Hear it straight from a man's POV and believe me … you can never hear this enough!

Leave a comment below and let me know how you feel!

Love,

Cherry

{ 145 comments… read them below or add one }

Gloria November 11, 2011 at 12:26 pm

You rock, Cherry! I love these video vignettes. You pack a lot of substance into them. And…it’s all true. I’ve been following relationship experts for quite a while. You, my dear, are among them. You know your stuff, and thanks for teaching us. ~ Gloria

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Thank you, Gloria!

Really appreciate your comments. So happy you’re enjoying the videos :)

Love, Cherry

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Laura January 11, 2013 at 9:21 am

Cherry, so glad I found this site!  For Wanda, below, I am 45 and he is 28…..yet people think he is older and I am younger, all in how our mannerisms are together and how our maturity levels are..I say GO FOR IT and enjoy it while you can!  It is very well accepted for older men/younger women, so why not for older women/younger men?  ENJOY.

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Terri April 19, 2013 at 2:59 pm

Great video.  I look a lot younger plus I have a young attitude but this video reinforces what I knew.  But where do you meet younger men who have their life together and not just looking for a fling?

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Jackie April 19, 2013 at 6:00 pm

Thank you for having a man's perspective on this issue.  It's nice to hear that some men actually do want more in a relationship and can appreciate inner qualities.  I find energetic attraction so much more important than anything…
However, I was told my a man that was flirting and there was a mutual attraction. But he told me that the age difference wasn't an issue now, but when we would get older it would make a difference and he didn't want to go through that.  I'm 48 and he's 31. 
That made me realize that though I may look and act young now, aging is a real issue in such a relationship…  and to be honest, it made me feel old.  Oh well…. thanks. <3
 

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Wanda December 9, 2012 at 4:46 am

Cherry
I feel you are super and u do cover a lot with the little short videos.  I love the younger man older woman.  It was great, however I am feeling my gap is too much. I have been dating a guy who is 26 and I am 51 we have been dating three months

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Batte Choi July 21, 2013 at 5:39 pm

I have a semilar situation. I’m 52 and his 25. We leave together for 2 1/2 months. He cook and treat me very well. we had fun together only fought 2 to 3 x. We get along very well. But i kept telling him about. our age gap. he said. his not perfect, this is what he want, he has no regret,His very happy he meet me. him and his family accepted me for who i am. and there is nothing wrong with it. he love me and he will hold it without any regrets. he really love me and care for me. but i’m not sure if i¶m comfortable with our age gap. but I like him a lot. what should I do. I know his sincere.

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Cherry Norris July 21, 2013 at 8:00 pm

Good for you Batte!
Stay with him as long as you can. Sounds like he sincerely wants you!
Love, Cherry

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Janise February 14, 2014 at 6:07 pm

Batte,… get out while you can. He is way to young for you. When you are 75 he will be a young 50. before then he will most likely want his own children which you can't give him and he will move on to someone more his age or younger. Then you will be old and it will be much harder for you to find a man that wants such an older women…
Most older men want younger women. And young men who want older women is only a short term thing. He thinks, great she has so much to offer. She is experienced in bed and he can brag to his friends he is bedding an older women but he will realize with a 25 year age gap, she is not the one to spend the rest of his life with when he fast forwards how the age gap will effect him and he wont want to be with a shrivelled up woman when he is still young and vibrant.
You say you are living together?… That is just making it way to easy for him without having a marriage commitment.  If he was serious he would have proposed by now instead of living with you. Its great for him to have a live in mom that has sex with him… Trust me I have been there. All these dating experts says to go for it but you will end up alone someday because that way to younger man has moved onto someone younger.  Get out now before your heart really breaks and find a man within 8 or less years of your age if you want a younger man. 25 years is too big of a gap. Remember when you were 25?… You are not even the same person now and nor will he be.   Just as your tastes changed over the years so will his and that means you will no longer be what he wants…

Its always to the advantage of the younger man when dating an older woman. The older woman gets the short end of the stick.  Don't waste anymore of your youthful time on him. Look for a man closer to your age and that will last you a life time not this temporary thing you have going now.  You will regret wasting your last youthful years with a guy who will eventually move on from you. You will regret that you are too old to market yourself for a quality man and then all that will date you is guys 20 years older than you…..
I am just 50 now and guys my age don't want anything to do with me once they find out I am 50 since I look 30.  We get along great but they want more for their future. I can't give them babies & will start to look old soon. Guys my age all want younger women. When your 25 year old get to be your age now he will want the same a younger women. Do you want to be dumped at age 65 and have to start looking for love all over again?… Please I have been in your shoes a few times and have seen women experience the same as you.  Just don't waste you youth on a fling.  He will tell you age doesn't matter now but down the road it will matter to him and you are left single again.
Good luck. I will pray you find your true lasting love.

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Rosanna April 8, 2014 at 4:16 am

You should just enjoy your time togrther. And stop fretting thr small stuff
 

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Shoshi November 11, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Wonderful Cherry
Spots on!!!

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Thanks Shoshi!

Love, Cherry

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Lorene November 11, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Whoa, Cherry, I needed to hear that so much! … Because I’d never really found all the wrinkles till I found myself around a younger man. This confirmation that (obviously) I have other attractions!

Thank you for being a friend.
Tina

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Yay, Tina!

Love this!

Love, Cherry

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Anne November 11, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Hi Cherry,
I have usually dated younger men than I am, and married a man 7 years my junior. I always wondered why! Now I know!
Thanks!
Anne (Kentucky girl)

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Kentucky girl!

Thanks for your comments and for tuning in!

Love, Cherry (Tennessee girl!)

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Kate November 11, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Super duper Cherry!

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Thanks, Kate!

Love, Cherry

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Suzanp November 11, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Thanks Cherry. At age 53, I have been hit on by younger men.. 30′s, 40′s.. but shyed away. Thinking that they just wanted sex and not a relationship. To be honest the men in their 50′s and 60′s are kind of set in their ways, some looking much older as well as acting like old men. So this video has helped in the fact that age should not be a factor when I am looking for a relationship. Once again.. thanks

Suzanne

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 5:53 pm

You got it, Suzanne!

Love, Cherry

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Kate November 11, 2011 at 3:01 pm

I sometimes worry that I am being compared with stunning younger women by men of my own age….

Now, if a man of your age sometimes talks in a fun away about hotly fancying younger women to his male friends (and this gets back to you via chance conversation with someone else) rather than about women his own age , but actually wants to spend time with you… Does he feel he is making some sort of compromise..to get the confidence and the quality of conversation he wants he has to put up with an older body too??? Or if he had the choice would he want to go out with much younger women?

NO way to know I know …!

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 6:25 pm

That’s right, Kate.

You can only be who you are. Most men want it all … however your man will know he wants you!

Love, Cherry

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Karrie November 11, 2011 at 3:14 pm

HI Cherry,

I wanted to share a story with you. I had dinner last night with a very happily married couple (14 years). The husband is a strong, masculine, assertive man, and yet, he was so overwhelmed by his wife when they met at a party that he corresponded with her by email for three months before asking her out! He simply did not believe this beautiful woman was attracted to him. She was crazy frustrated, so she sent him a present on Valentine’s Day and he still didn’t get it! Finally, his friends, who could see that she liked him, shamed him into asking her for a date. He is handsome and NOT insecure. Yet if she hadn’t been aggressive, there would be no marriage (and 2 beautiful children) today. What do we do when faced with men like this??

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Great story, Karrie!

Thanks for sharing! “Patience, patience, patience.” That is the mantra when dating men b/c you never know. Men who move slower may be taking courtship very seriously!

Love, Cherry

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Maria November 11, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Perfect timing for me to hear this message. I met a man who is a dream! I am very interested in him and he in me. We are making an amazing connection. The issue (my issue) is that he’s 7 years younger than me. Those thoughts about not being that young anymore keep crossing my mind. He doesn’t seem to mind the age difference at all. I am the one making it a big deal. This video helped me push those concerns away! Thank you Cherry!

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Wonderful Maria!

So happy to hear this video helped you with these concerns!

Love, Cherry

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Josie March 15, 2013 at 2:38 pm

Maria, when I first met the father of my child (10 and a half years younger than me, handsome, sexy, intelligent), I had the same issues about my age. I was a 42 years-old alpha woman, looking much younger, but I used to scare the hell out of men my age, who were, anyway, either married, womanisers, or not ready to commit.
With him it was love at first sight. We talked for 6 hours on our first date and one month later we were living together. Our wonderful daughter was born after two years. That was 6 years ago. 
You already wrote it: these issues are yours, not necessarily his. When I asked him: "why me, if you could have prettier, younger girls?" , he told me: "I had them already.. been there, done that. Now I want something more: you".
Although that relationship has ended, for a number of reasons – nothing to do with our ages-, we are still friends and responsible, caring parents.  I feel now better and even younger, open to the future, and not interested anymore in men close to my age. 

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Heidi November 11, 2011 at 3:45 pm

How fun to hear it directly from a young man! Great idea.

Now then. please arrange for me to be in the line of vision with your guest speaker so that I may practice my 6 second smile on him ;)

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Heidi,

Thanks for your note! Brent will love hearing this! :)

Love, Cherry

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Jasmina November 11, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Dear Cherry,
I am 56. I’ve been divorced for 30 years.Except for my ex-husband
I had always had serious relationships with men in the range 3-17
years younger than me.It helps that I do fashion modeling for a
living and I do have a great body/I do speed ice skating/.I can say
that it’s not just the physical connection dealing with younger men,
it is more the emotional connection that comes from a younger mind,
not yet disillusioned and cynical with life,who is happy to be with
an older woman, radiating confidence and elegance.
Jasmina

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Love it, Jasmina!

And soooo true. The emotional connection with a younger man is fabulous!

Love, Cherry

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Sue November 11, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Dear Cherry:

Please speak a bit about men who have been Burned by love, and are still Very wary.
I know someone like this, Very sweet, (but doesn’t really trust women.)
I appreciate your comments So much.

Thanks,
S.

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 6:31 pm

Sue,

This is a great topic for a future Q & A. Thanks for submitting it!

Love, Cherry

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Happy November 11, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Unlike most men my age, I prefer dating age appropriate women. Of course, the young hard body is fun for a couple of hours, but the 50 somethings have experience, maturity, sensibility, and generally know what they want and how to get it. And they are more fun – to me.

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 9:57 pm

Hey Happy,

Thanks for validating “older women” from another man’s POV!

Love, Cherry

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Ninah September 7, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I'd like to add that there are also more cultural references to pull you together.
 

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Diana November 11, 2011 at 10:20 pm

I have been interested in younger men all my life. When I was sixteen, I was dating a thirteen-year-old. But now at 68, although my face looks like it’s 50, I am being pursued by a man who just turned 30. He has told me to get in shape physically since I’m seriously overweight due to depression. I’m teetering. There is a THIRTY-EIGHT YEAR age difference here!! Should I tell him? I think he’s judging by my face that I’m fifty.

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Cherry Norris November 11, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Diana,

Thanks for your note! Love this! No, you don’t need to tell him your age until he asks. If he’s not asking, he’s not bothered! :)

Carry on!!

Love, Cherry

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Julia November 12, 2011 at 12:17 am

I miss you Cherry…love your little videos. It’s good to see you from time to time…love the truth you speak. Julia

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Cherry Norris November 12, 2011 at 3:12 am

Miss you too, Julia!

We must speak soon :)

Love, Cherry

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Karyn November 12, 2011 at 1:04 am

Thanks Cherry! This is so helpful and timing. I recently met a man 11 years younger than me and could not understand why he would want someone my age. Your video gives me more confidence and I love that you included the man’s perspective! After years of dating older men, I am certainly setting my sights on younger men!

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Cherry Norris November 12, 2011 at 3:12 am

Karyn,

Thanks for your note. Happy to hear the video gives you more confidence!

Carry on!

Love, Cherry

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E November 12, 2011 at 5:09 am

Thanks,gives me hope and courage to feel good about myself.

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Ann November 12, 2011 at 6:29 am

From the ex spouse who was 9 years younger to the current partner who is 6 years younger, I can tell you it is fun, fun, fun. If they had issues with your age, they wouldn’t be there. If they don’t have them, you shouldn’t either. Carpe diem.

Mom of 3 adult children….

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Pamela November 12, 2011 at 7:14 am

This guys viewpoint is wonderful but isn’t he a rarity?

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Nai`a December 23, 2011 at 6:12 pm

No, not in my experience! After a wonderful marriage with a 12-yr. younger husband, I stayed out of relationships for way too long. Now, my two lovers are eight and 14 yrs. younger and Iʻm loving it! As Iʻm 66, they are no youngsters, so any qualms I might have about my aging self also apply to them. Yes, they might notice my sags, but, guess what? Theyʻve got sags, too! I recently went out with a guy my age and it felt like I was with my gramps. I need someone a good deal younger if he is to have any chance of keeping up with me, so, I keep myself slim and healthy and have lots of young friends. Age is not a barrier.

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Tina November 12, 2011 at 7:52 am

Cherry,

Thanks! I have always been attracted to younger men but didn’t quite know why they were so interested in me! This video–especially the part with your dashing husband, really made so much sense! Cherry you are the best!

Love,
Tina :)

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Pam November 12, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Hi Cherry,
Thanks for a great video. It helps to hear from a man why they are attracted to older women. I am a ‘young’ 54 year old who finds men my age much ‘older’ than I. I am attracted to younger men, but have been hesitant to date them, wondering why they would want an older woman. Now that I’ve heard from a man what the attraction is for them, I won’t hesitate when the opportunity comes along. Thanks again.
Pam

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Georgie November 12, 2011 at 6:37 pm

I keep wondering when to break it off with my boyfriend who is 13 years my junior. He is wonderful, filled with joy, kindness and fun, but I think this has to end and I should do it before my heart is broken. I just don’t want to stay in a relationship that I feel is bound not to work out. Thanks for the video….georgie

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Pat August 28, 2012 at 4:04 pm

This is 9 months later so  I will ask: What did you do? Are you still in the relationship? I am in a relationship with a man that is 21 years younger than I am. I think if you just want to enjoy every moment then just live in the present. But, on the other hand, if you are looking for a "partnership" then maybe, and just maybe, you may want to look elsewhere? Everything has to end eventually. Older women are more aware of that but don't dwell on it.

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Cherry Norris August 28, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Yes, Pat! I’m still in my relationship. Enjoy yours! :)

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Alex November 12, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Hi Cherry,

In the past I’ve mostly dated older women, 5 to 10yrs, and enjoyed it greatly when I was in my 20′s&30′s, also married an older woman for all the reasons discussed in this video. However, now that I’m in my mid 40′s I would have to say they have been some of the most difficult women to date. Rather than be relaxed and enjoy the dating journey with a smile most here, San Franisco Bay Area, I’ve met seem to feel that time is running out, don’t want to compete with younger women and as a result “want to have you commit rather quickly”. In essence that confidence that was once so sexy seems shaken due to time and now rather than exuding that playful confident attitude it’s been replaced with lack of humor&easygoingness that I found so appealing before. That saying 9lder&Set in her ways” rings true and I know understand why a lot of men go for younger women,,way more easygoing for the most part. My father was from Hollywood and dated many beautiful women,including quite a few playboy bunnies, however he married a wonderful lady 12yrs older who was goodlooking BUT also incredibly playful&fun…that combo is one that is hard to beat and highly desired…wish more of the older ladies understtod that..yes you are going to compete with younger women,yes we are going to look, but if you fun,easygoing,attractive and make me feel like the only man in the world I will choose you everytime over the playboy bunney!

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lm December 21, 2012 at 8:04 pm

So …
she should make you feel like the only man in the world … but you're not going to return the favor and make her feel like the only woman in yours …?
Um — okay??
 
:-/

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Cristina Lambert November 12, 2011 at 9:05 pm

I’ve been with a man ten years younger than I for over 14 years. He calls me “supermodel,” loves my body, doesn’t know my real age (I’m 71). Unfortunately, the attraction is purely physical, and I still hope to meet the man of my dreams who shares my passion for travel, my interest in metaphysics, is spiritual and educated like me. Do you think I still have a chance? I’ve tried online dating sites, written down what I’m looking for in a man, but so far, no luck, and sometimes I feel time’s running out. I have longevity on both sides of the family and will probably live for at least another 20 years, but I want so much to share the rest of my life with a special man. I’m not necessarily interested in marriage, having already been married once (I have a 36 year old son who’s a physician, married, and the father of two little girls). Cristina

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Gail November 12, 2011 at 10:44 pm

Cherry, I am so happy to hear the mans POV. I agree. I am also no longer in my 40s and still have a great style to attract younger men. Now, time to learn how to keep one! Thanks for you site!!

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Paula November 13, 2011 at 4:29 am

Wow, this was great, and makes me feel so much better. I have felt so unsure about the way younger men are attracted to me, but maybe now I can appreciate it and even go for it without that feeling of an unsure future with such a man. Thankyou Cherry!

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Debbie November 13, 2011 at 5:22 am

I love this!! I am often approached by younger men. One guy was even 23 years younger than me! I never understood their attraction and am so glad to know that it’s genuine. Honestly, I’ve turned a couple of hotties down because it seemed to odd. I’ll surely rethink that!!

Thank you so much and your male “POV” is gorgeous:)

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sophie November 13, 2011 at 11:14 am

God he’s hot, I want one of those. Im going to not turn the other way when I see a younger man look at me now, dont know about this 6 second smile others are talking about but I certainly will smile (even though I feel an old fool when some dont smile back, I sort of feel like a pick up woman). Im a young 52, cute, smart, funny and drive in me that could move mountains if I beleive in something. I have been seperated for two years now and I’m ready for love again. Im ready TO love again. Cherry your making a difference in my life with the videos, thanks

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Cherry Norris November 13, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments!

Love hearing your stories and knowing you’re broadening your romantic choices by opening up to dating younger men!

Carry on girls … and thanks for the validations, gentlemen!

Love, Cherry

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Sharon November 14, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Cherry, this is wonderful. thank you so much. I am a very young 52 year old :) and for the past 2 years been dating two younger men seriously; 1 is 13 years younger than myself (I am in love with; though not sure he feels the same way??) and one is 19 years younger than myself. The latter we have so much fun together both physically and emotionally there is a great attraction. His age is fun and I think our ages compliment one another. I am not attracted to him because he is only 33; I am attracted to him as a person and his youth is a part of that. A man at my age could be attractive to me as well but he has to have what I desire in a man. I find very few men my age that have that. So many of them let themselves go. It is so sad. So I am having the best days of my life at 52 and plan on having them for the rest of my life. :) Thanks Cherry. You have made a difference in my life regarding this area especially and it was very much needed.

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robin November 16, 2011 at 12:27 am

Cherry, maybe you can help me with this. Cute younger men at my gym make lots of eye contact with me. But when I look back and smile, and then look at them to catch their eye at random times, they eventually completely withdraw and close up. It’s as if they only like me if I don’t show them I like them. I’ve decided, sadly, to stop trying. What do you think I should do?

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lm February 7, 2012 at 10:46 pm

I have the same problem Robin has.
I don’t think it’s uncommon at all.

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Marlene October 30, 2012 at 8:59 am

I wonder if it's shyness or not knowing how to handle it. I had a similar issue with a young barrista recently. I see him several times a week when I get my morning coffee. I didn't really notice him until he started smiling at me and being nice (like doing my coffee ahead of the queue if it was very busy). Then I noticed how cute (and very young) he was. However, I'm seeing a guy 22 years younger and am developing a taste for younger men : ) When I started smiling back, though, he suddenly started avoiding eye contact and I concluded he was embarrassed that I was taking an interest i.e. it seemed I'd misread the signals …. until … I went on holiday for 5 weeks. When I got back he not only served me but engaged me in conversation for the first time, noting I'd been away for a long time, etc. So, that got me wondering. Who knows but I think these siutations are not as straight forward as they would be if the age difference wasn't so apparent.

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Vicki January 31, 2012 at 6:10 pm

I am currently dating a man 14 yrs younger (I’m 42 he is 28) than I. He doesn’t believe I’m my age, he thought I was 28!! I NEVER thought I would date a younger man. But this man adores me, doesn’t care about my age and we have a wonderful connection and lot in common. Being that I am very experienced in dating adn have been single for a long time, I am very sympathetic to his need to go out with the buddies or his friends. I never try to come between that. He appreciates that. Men my age seem to be broken, bitter and mean or are getting divorced looking to spread themselves like butter (LOL!). The funny thing is, he is more successful than I am and makes more money. I am so COOL with that. I think the key to success with a younger man, is patience and understanding. Making him feel like he is in charge. We older women can mold these young men to be better men.

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Cherry Norris January 31, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Amen, Sister!

Wonderful story. Thanks so much for sharing!

Love, Cherry

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Pillow Lopez May 6, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Thanks for the video Cherry! I'll be marrying my boyfriend 12 years younger than me next year after my previous marriage gets annuled. He asked me! I'm so happy and he's really serious about marrying me caused he already told my Mom. My daughter from my previous marriage loves him and wants him to be her Dad. Before I had qualms why he would want someone like me…now I understand why.  Your video made me feel more confident about myself. Thanks again.

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Cherry Norris May 7, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Congratulations, Pillow! ;)

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Theresa May 24, 2012 at 1:33 am

Where do I find a nice young man like this one in your video? Seems like men forgot how to be men…

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Sue May 25, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Dear Cherry:
 
Your thoughts and insights are so wonderful!,- I do think it's hard still- to
imagine- in a marriage to a younger man- if your energy or pace would be
enough for him- (if you love him,- you'd never want to let him down or dissappoint him-)
especially if the age difference is quite a bit.
I'd love to hear more from you on this topic, Cherry,- You are fabulous!
Happy Paris and always,
Sue
 
 
 

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marge June 29, 2012 at 12:51 am

I recently turned away a much younge
man, I got cold feet. When we tried again
he got cold feet and pulled away. Lack of
confidece…very contagious

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Elizabeth July 18, 2012 at 8:12 pm

My husband is almost 11 yrs younger and I am scared that he will eventually desire a younger model. I'm more nervous about the possibility of cheating than leaving because he knows I am a good woman . 

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Averil August 9, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Thank you for this. Ever since I split up with my ex-husband in 2005, I could not understand why, all of a sudden, I had all of these guys interested in me and all significantly younger. It wasn´t me coming on to them, quite the opposite.
I have also come to realise, I am not really into guys my own age. They are like dinosaurs (except one maybe, he´s an artist and that has still to be realised …)
Thank you for your short vid. Explains a lot.
Love and Hugs,
Averil
XxX

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Rose Stokes August 24, 2012 at 8:03 pm

I so really needed to hear this.  Although I have heard it from the young man with whom I have been involved with, just needed to hear it again…lol   My problem is I find myself advising him or acting like his mother.   He posed the question to me…"Do you want to be my mother or my lover?  I thought that was a fair question..my answer was a little bit of both…LOL just kidding! 

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lolz September 3, 2012 at 4:35 pm

i'm 23 and attracted to old women maybe i`ll plan to marry one in the future

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Nora September 21, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I have been with my husband for 11 years.  We were married in 2001 when I was 51 and he was 29.  This is after he courted me for seven years.  It took him that long to convince me that he was not crazy in the head or just weird.  Society sets these stereo-types.  My husband and find that we are a good blend of intelligence, friendship and companionship.  I am so pleased to see your video and find that I am not the only one out there.  Thank you.
 

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JJ September 22, 2012 at 12:20 am

Hi Cherry, first time I'd ever seen anything like this and thank you.  I've known this man for about 15 years.  Never knew he was interested in me until this year he messaged me via facebook to say he's crushed on me all these years.  Unfortunately, I've moved states away.  At first his texts were full force.  Saying he wanted me to move back and so on and so forth.  Lately, I've been the one initiating texts or comments.  Should I assume he is no longer interested and move on?  I too started thinking only of my appearance once I found out he was interested.  He says he knows what I look like and he thinks I'm sexy.  Let me know what you think.  Thanks, JJ

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jen September 27, 2012 at 6:15 am

Hi cherry and all of you
I do love my man,13yrs younger never thought i wld be with him for a year already,i have been married and have two boys 13,11 he is still adjusting to them lol ,they act up whn he is around and give him a really hard time, he said im in for a while. As a women 39
ugg im adjusting to us trust and commitment
He requires a lot of attention sometimes i cant gives. It too him i do feel bad .. im too busy witnh the boys and my own buisness. So cheating is a concern in my head for him.. sometimes i dont want too ask wht he is doing.. but do we ever know? ever
cherry thanx for being you.

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Lee-Ann September 28, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Hi Cherry,
Thank you for your wonderful videos. I always get so much out of them. This one, especially, resonanted with me. I am a very young 50 and am dating for the first time in many years. I find a lot of younger men are very attracted to me. I have not found men my age or older attractive. I'm sure there are some out there that I could be attracted to, I just haven't found them yet!! I was starting to think there is something wrong with me because these older men are very nice, high quality men and there is just no chemistry for me. Thank you for giving the male POV. It helped me see that I do have a lot to offer a younger man.

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Rosanna Tufts October 5, 2012 at 11:54 am

"Elegance, grace, confidence." So THAT's it, huh? No wonder people tell me I have the perfect "girl" walk, even though I'm 50-ish! Men marry Venusian sweetness. That means, the older you get, and the more dependent you become on other people to do things for you, the sweeter you have to be, so they will WANT to! So I've gotten good at being sweet to everyone I meet, from CEOs to busboys. You never know when Mr. Right will spot your behavior out of the corner of his eye. He could be making a decision about you right then and there, while you're focused on some other interaction.  

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Linda October 10, 2012 at 6:02 am

WOW!!  Your video from a mans viewpoint really boosted my spirits.  I am 55 . My husband who is 11 yrs. younger than me is forever telling me what a gorgeous body I have, and is forever trying to reassure me that the age difference doesn't bother him.  He once told me that younger women are too immature with child-like personalities and they really annoy him.  He is always trying to tell me he loves the TOTAL package, your video helped me to better understand what my husband has been trying to tell me. Thank you for sharing this video with us.

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Cherry Norris October 10, 2012 at 4:25 pm

That’s so great, Linda!! :)

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prettylady October 18, 2012 at 8:35 pm

hi thanks for your help..am surprise when younger men want to know me or date me. i am around 40 and younger looking female. sometimes i just wonder why me? as i know there are nice young girls out of the younger men. this video did help..but am still bit un easy…
once again am asked to go out on date with guy who is in 20s ..and wow..not sure if i should go for it..or just be pure friend to him..he is sweet.
you have a good day
prettylady

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bex October 24, 2012 at 9:51 am

Oh this is so good to hear! I have just been in a long miserable relationship with a guy my own age (34) and he had more baggage than an airline.. ex's, kids, debts… 6 months after I called it a day, I met a gorgeous 26 year old and he is everything I could want. Not cynical about life, still ambitious, very eager to please me, compliments me all the time, chilled out, wants to travel but sees himself settling down in 2-3 years… I, however, am nervous about the age gap and since he is so hot I was wondering why he finds me attractive when there are so many girls his own age that would jump at the chance to go out with him. But now I'm starting to understand, I'm fun-loving, but not reckless, although a little out of shape, I am confident in my own skin, and I know what I want out of life.. not playing games! I guess this is why he's sticking around… Thanks. :)

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Cherry Norris October 29, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Wonderful, Bex!

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Tlc October 28, 2012 at 4:49 pm

After ending a 12 yr. relationship with a now 44 yr old and I 41. Not even a month later (i know it may sound like  rebound but i honestly was not looking)  i felt some very attractive eyes on me. I found myself asking is he really looking at me???? It was not the kind of setting where you just start talking. He walked up to approach me and we said hello and exchanged business cards. I knew he looked younger but to my suprise 14 yrs….. it has now been 3 months.. We have the best dinners,conversations and the intimacy is AMAZING… I try not to worry too much where this will end up long or short term. I have  asked him why me? He tells me that I have everytbing he has looked for inside and out… He loves my confidence in what i want, my curves and tells me also he did not want to play games with women his age…. At this point I going with it… he has not once lied to me and is so in to me and what I am tbinking… I will just see what happens.. We tell eachother that we love each other and he reminds me often when he wants to talk long term that his heart knows what it wants and that is me…. sounds like a fantasy but it is real as it gets.

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Cherry Norris October 29, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Yay TIc! ;)

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Marlene October 30, 2012 at 9:28 am

I enjoyed watching the video clip of one man's perspective. Online I get approached by numerous much younger men – even teenagers! (I'm 50) I used to be quite suspicious of their motives – perhaps they were just wanting that particular notch on their headboard i.e. to have bedded a cougar, but there was no real attraction. So now I always ask the ones I'm interested in about their motives. Here's a reply from one guy which is consistent with the video clip:
"Well, an experienced woman is a major turn on for me… they are direct and know what they want…… I find there's an accumulated sexiness to an older woman.. as opposed to a younger version who might look sexy, but doesn't exude it through experience."
I've now been seeing this 28-year-old for several months. He doesn't seem to mind I don't have the body of a 25-year-old and I make an effort not to act overly self-conscious about it. We have a lot of fun with lingerie, too….

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Jablazin November 13, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Glad to hear it from the man… I’m confident about my body but this helps reinforce my thoughts and confidence…this is new to me. I usually date guys my age or older and I never give yngr guys a second though, but lately yngr men have been bombarding me with attention..So I’m at the point.. Y not..
Thank you continued Blessing
Love <3

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Suzan November 29, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Hi Cherry
Please Help!  What brings me here today a 43 old man contacted me via an online dating site I am a member of.  I didn't know what to say!  I have never been in this situation.
 I’ve been married twice before both men my age. Maybe that might a good clue not to date men my age! LOL
I wondered why me? He told me he likes older woman and have dated woman in there 60’s. I'm a 56 year old woman, cute, fun to be with, with a pretty healthy sex drive! I just don't know what to do! 
 We've chatted back and forth a few times now. I did ask him why did you decide to contact me…his answer was, my smile, have a good sense of humor and I lived nearby. I somewhat discouraged him but he asked if we can be friends…I said yes. He said we could go out to dinner…movies etc…. But now what do I do!
I find myself interested in him but then my rational side of me comes out! I did tell him I thought we are in two different places and I didn’t think we’d fit in to one another’s. He didn’t see it that way.  
I need some imput please..I don't have anyone else I could talk to this about!
Thank you so much!
Suzan
 P.S. He's a firefighter and that alone puts a twinkle in my eye!
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Cherry Norris November 30, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Wonderful news, Susan!!
Just go for it!
Put your fears & judgments aside and enjoy the fact he finds you so desirable.
Most of all, have fun :)
Love, Cherry

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torn up December 2, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Hi Cherry,
Thanks for this. I have fallen for someone the same age as my son. After working with him for almost 3 years, he made a pass at me. I was thrilled and terrified because I had fallen for him long before he made the pass. Reader's Digest version here…it didn't go far because of our work relationship, but the way he looks at me sometimes, it's the way someone who really cares and wants to be close. He said he has always been attracted to older women (he is almost 26 yrs younger than me) and "really likes" me, but he holds back. What do I make of this?
I was going to stop working with him, but the weekend I decided this, my son died quite unexpectedly. The only time I feel sane and whole is when I'm near this incredibly handsome, sexy, kind man. How do I get him out of my head and my heart?

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Bad Timing December 5, 2012 at 5:09 am

Hi Cherry,
JUST HIT 40 OMG.. PANIC ATTACK.. I loved this video and it really made me feel better.  But I'm struggling with my age since I don't look or feel it. I turned 40 while on vacation with my 28 yr old "friend".  How we got here… We've known each other for 3 years and his 8yr relationship recently ended..(he got dumped for the last time) although it was heading that way for a while now.  His ex has moved on but he is still grieving.  Since I have been there for him as a friend, he approached me because he felt comfortable with me and asked me to have a sexual relationship with him (friends with benefits).  I gave it a lot of thought and made him wait a month and then said yes.  Everything with him is amazing but after this trip I have undoubtedly fallen for him.  Since I was feeling the "why me – physically" thing we talked and he said the only reason he would not date me seriously was my age, to reassure me he likes me in every other way. He only knows roughly my age btw. He says he doesn't want to "feel" for someone again right now and I know it may be too soon for him.. officially it's only been 3 months.. but we are so good together.  I fear I will lose him since he is not ready and I won't be able to hide my feelings for too long.  I know now that it is ok to think of him seriously thanks to you.. but I don't know what to do.  I haven't met a man this good in 20 years. Maybe it wouldn't matter anyway, if he truly has an issue with my age, but there is no denying there is a great connection there.  I know it is not impossible for him to fall in love again so soon but.. what to do??  Am I doomed??

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Jane December 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I am a 59 year old woman…I look mid-forties…very attractive, fun, progressive, march to my own drum…not interested in dating men my age — I just cannot relate.  A good age for me is between 45 – 48…can't seem to find them, meet them…it's frustrating!  When I do meet men, and they find out that biologically I am 59, they cannot believe it …. but then the distancing starts.  I should not be forced to lie about my age and yet I feel I have to sometimes….  I have so much to offer…..WHERE do I meet compatible men???

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Isabella January 8, 2013 at 3:28 am

Hi Cherry, I recently met this this guy that is 16 years younger and he is soooo into me I cannot get him away from me. We met while on vacation. He attached himself to my sister and I and he would not give up. He is wonderful, his personality is amazing. He has stayed in touch with me since the trip. The only problem is that I'm scared of the age difference. I'm 34 and he is 18 :( While on the trip he treated me with respect and didn't even try to kiss me. Which I appreciated. He lives in a different state then me so we've been keeping in touch on the phone and he told me that he has fallen in love with me. I don't know what to do. Please help! He tells me that age is just a number and it doesn't bother him at all… I'm just soo worried because he is 18!!!!!. I'm very careful what I tell him because I don't want to give him false hope. I feel that maybe if he was at least 20 it wouldn't bother me so much because he has lives a little but 18? HELP!

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Judith Marrow Dix February 11, 2013 at 4:37 pm

Hi Cherry, thank you so much for these tips, l am 53 years old but look mid 40′s because of my clear skin. I do carry myself with confidence the way l dress and walk but that has come with maturity and confidence over the past few years from various life experiences and life lessons. I have been very close friends for a while with a guy who is 12 years younger than myself and we click so well, we have through the same pain of domestic violence which in case his ex bested him and mistreated their son, he has suffered loss, sadness like myself, he is spiritual like myself and his mother is a gifted medium, my mother was gifted but is deceased, he is a gifted artist, painter, very creative and plays the lead guitar and is so gifted at that too. We both share arty and musical talent, we talk for hours about Spiritual things and we have experienced the same spiritual things happened to both of us good and bad, we are both into ghost hunting, going to old historical places to explore, we love architecture, history and military history, we both want to explore old haunted buildings and use equipment to get our findings, he doesn’t want any more children as he’s happy with the son he has and l have a beautiful 18 year son from a previous marriage. He believes beauty is inside not on the outside but tells me l am gorgeous even more so without makeup. He is a rare very close friend, his father was Australian but his Mother was Asian, he has been brought up not to be materialistic and see people for who they are. he is happy to watch a jazz or blues band in a quiet corner, l have never met a man who thinks, acts like l do, it is too scarey and its like the Angels and our Spirit Guides are arranging something for us to be together as a couple in the future, he works hard as technical engineer at Qantas in Melbourne and he has numerous properties that has been left to him from family and that is not what l am used to as l struggled financially all my life. I am going to take baby steps as it seems too good to be true.

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Sheryl April 19, 2013 at 1:25 pm

Cherry,
You are SO smart and funny!
Yah baby…we got it!! lol
Thank you!
Very much:))

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Cici April 19, 2013 at 3:08 pm

Cherry, I LOVE this!
I wrote my "100th Birthday Speech" with the FULL intention of being up, and able to deliver it, on stage, to all my family, friends and co-workers. I have envisioned a MUCH younger husband/partner with me.  I don't believe I'll retire; at 50 I finally am just starting to do what I LOVE. Yes, I've loved being a wife and mother, not the same! I was widowed 10 years ago. I've had a many flings, and a couple of longer term relationships.
I am VERY attracted to younger men. I am constantly being hit on by men my oldest child's age, or maybe just a few years older. My BIGGEST issue with the younger men  is they either have NEVER had kids and think they still might like some ( ummm NOT happening!) or they HAVE younger kids and quite frankly I've raised my 5 and I'm TIRED of raising children. My youngest will be 18 in a few months and I will be DONE with the child rearing.
Can you speak to THIS?

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Mira April 19, 2013 at 3:55 pm

Hi Cherry, thank you for your great tip and I really enjoyed the Video. I have never attractive to a younger man and I find out most man are not grow up even older man. I've met some older and some younger, but none of them are a real man. I do not know if any good man out there????? I'm not looking for perfect ( there is not) only good , I mean real good .

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Anita April 19, 2013 at 9:46 pm

Please don't judge the men you haven't met yet, by the ones you have, or might possibly one day!  And, if you are looking for the perfect man – you will be waiting a LONG time!

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Fina April 19, 2013 at 4:18 pm

Hi, cherry, Thank you for your nice video. I am dating a younger man right now. You help me know a lot about why a young man like older woman.

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Bonnie Reid April 19, 2013 at 6:01 pm

Hello Cherry,  my BFF sent me your blog on older woman with younger men…my boyfriend of two yrs is only 38 but i am 66 yrs old, we have the best relationship.  He's very handsome, is 6' tall, was a trainer at a gym and has a super body and a dynamite personality to match.  It took me a long time to understand why he is with me when he could have any young girl with a body and no wrinkles of youth, but he said that wasn't why he fell in love with me it was that i was perfect for him.  Will we last forever, who knows in any relationship, but what i have resigned to do is be happy for today and not worry about when i am 80 and he's only 50, who knows he could still be here with me!   Thank you!  Jezabel

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Marta S. April 19, 2013 at 7:11 pm

Hi Cherry! I do like younger men, I tend to avoid dating older men because I already had one father/dad, and that was enough for me. I'm a firstborn, and I have never liked older men. I'm in love wirh a younger, creative man who has a lot of the qualities I have failed to find in other men. He says he loves me, but its long distance , and he works a lot on his creative venture. And I am long past staying in my area, the social scene for over 40's isn't there, and I have looked for friends to go out with, but people are either couples or have established friends. I wish I had some answers..This is not working for me and it seems plan b will now be going through the other letters of the alphabet as well. Something needs to change, and where I'm living is one of them, I don't think people can be changed.. I need ideas and suggestions, I may be over 40, but I don't want to give up on having a life that works and is right for me..

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Linda April 20, 2013 at 2:49 am

Hello Marta S. I became a member of Meetup.com Sometimes we Meetup to dine,listen to a local  tribute band, hike or BBQ.Lots of fun! ,Linda
 

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Anita April 19, 2013 at 10:00 pm

Cherry,  I just started chatting with a guy online who is 18 years younger. And is anxious for us to meet! I asked him if he had dated older women before and he said he dated a woman that is 5 years older then I.  I feel with him being a an ex-Sailor, a Dad  and having a responsible job, that he is more immature then some of the older men I have met/dated! I agree with some of the other women about not having the body that a younger woman does, but your video helped me to see that isn't all they are looking for – but for our minds and knowledge and what we can bring into the relationship! Thanks Again, Anita

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Lori April 20, 2013 at 2:36 pm

I am in a fairly new relationship with a terrific man who is five years younger. That certainly isn't a big range but I still have had concerns and felt a little insecure about it at times. So this was a nice boost to read. Accepting that he chose me- what a lovely message, thank you.

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ema April 21, 2013 at 1:05 am

hi cherry, thanks so much for that video on older women and younger men. i also cannot stand the old pot-bellied geezers or the ones who have signs they are heading in that direction. i am 70,fit,very pretty, and sexy. but the younger men sometimes do not want us permanently,because when we are 90 they will be….what?……60?…..70?……?
i had one experience in which my chronological age was a big factor and he could not handle it and was ashamed to let others in his family know we went out, because he could never make it lasting….he needed their approval. we broke up.
i have many men who are in their 30's and up who are interested, but even the ones in their early 50's i am now afraid to date, because of my last experience. At this age, i do not have time to spend a year or 6 months with someone and then find out my age is a factor and we cannot be permanent. i do want a permanent relationship one day either live-in or marriage.I feel they have to know our real ages, because that number might make a big difference suddenly to them. 
what do women feel about the following?
1)how do women out there feel about introducing a man to their chidren and their sons who are older than my BF?
2)we are ready for semi-retirement or full, and want to have privacy in the house ( sex! walking around naked!) but these young men have teens or kids who live at home that need bringing up. but we have been there/done that!
3)we are also ready to get up and travel. but now our man cannot go, since he is still into building a career, and cannot take off the time yet…we are done with that, at age 70.
yeti cannot stand the lack of muscle tone,the lack of health, the old thinking, etc. that the older men have!!!
how do women feel about these above issues?
i am looking at reality here.
i know they find us attracitve, confident, sexy, we know who we are, but what about the above issues?
 

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ema April 22, 2013 at 2:52 am

I NEED TO SAY THIS ALSO, ABOUT VERY YOUNG MEN WHO WANT TO DATE US. I MEAN THE GUY IN HIS EARLY 30'S WHO WANTS A WOMAN 30+ YRS OLDER. FROM MY ONLINE EXPERIENCE, THEY USUALLY WANT A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP, AND THEY HAVE ADMITTED IT TO ME.   THEY WANT AN EXPERIENCED OLDER WOMAN TO TEACH THEM AND UPON WHOM THEY CAN PRACTICE.  NO ,NOT EVERY ONE OF THEM, BUT A LOT I HAVE HAD CONTACT WITH. 
I HAVE A NEW FRIEND WHO IS AN EXCEPTION. HE IS A VERY FINE PERSON, BUT I CANNOT SEE A LIFETIME PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO IS  32 YRS YOUNGER, AND IF I WENT TO BED WITH HIM, IT WOULD BE A GREAT DISSERVICE TO HIM, FOR HE IS REALLY INTO ME – HE REALLY LIKES ME A LOT, AND HE WOULD GET TOO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED AND THEN I WOULD HAVE TO SAY NO, NOT FOREVER ,SORRY,I TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE.   IT WOULD DEPRIVE HIM OF HIS YOUTH, OF POSSIBLY BEING A DAD, AND HE WOULD HAVE TO SKIP OVER ALL THOSE YEARS INTO SEMI- RETIREMENT MODE WITH ME. AND I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TOO FAR, BECAUSE ALTHO IT KEEPS US YOUNG TO A DEGREE, IT ALSO DEPRIVES US OF OUR HARD EARNED RETIREMENT YEARS, SINCE WE HAVE TO BE CHAINED TO A JOB AND CAREER AGAIN THRU HIS CAREER NEEDS. TOO BIG AN AGE DIFFERENCE.
I CAN SEE 10 YEARS EASILY. I CAN EVEN SEE 15.    20, NOT THAT SURE- IT DOES NOT FEEL RIGHT BUT DEPENDS ONTHE MAN.
IF IT WERE SOMEONE I LIKED BUT DID NOT THINK HIGHLY OF, I WOULD HOP INTO BED, HAVE SOME FUN, AND SAY GOODBYE ONE DAY, ALL THE WHILE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE REAL THNG.

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Jessica April 26, 2013 at 7:08 am

Hello,
Thank you for this site.
I'm currently being courted by a 34 year old darling man and I'm 48.  I'm holding myself back because I've never been with someone this young before.  He's kind, we have the same values.  We also "click" as he says and we are open and honest with each other.  He's fun, compliments me a lot, and always there for me.
I am just scared that I may fall too deep in love and I'd be hurt again… my ex-husband was 15 years older than me.  And now, I'm in a complete age opposite.  Ah, life, these are the cards I've been dealt with.
Friends have told me to enjoy it… but for me to fully enjoy it, I need to completely let go and just fall in love.  Become vulnerable.  I've been hurt too many times and I don't know if my heart can take another break up.  I know, I should think more positive from all the wonderful posts in here.  
Thank you for the validation that age is just a number because he makes me happy and I know I make him happy.
We've liked each other now for almost 6 months… no sex and I know he's not just after sex with me because he hasn't pressured or even hinted of sex.
Oh boy, okay, here we go!  falling! falling! falling in love…   ;)
Jessica

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Natasha May 2, 2013 at 6:17 am

Jessica, if you can, enjoy only, but please dont fall in love ,when you re older is more difficult to recover…

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Debi April 28, 2013 at 12:28 am

Jessica,
Thanks so much for the honest and the emtional comments.
I have only begun to message a sweet young man (47); I am (61) .
He connected with me on a dating site, and I am flattered by his complimets  to me.
But, OMG ! I am SO anxious ! I refuse to be his "sugar mommy" !
I sent him a message this morning to let him the hook; I have no idea what his response will be.
Thanks for your honesty.
I wish you all the happiness you seek,
Debi

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Natasha May 2, 2013 at 6:13 am

Hi i just broke up with my boyfriend he was 30 me 55 and ….never again awful experience ,after one year of dating most of it only sleeping together ,he wasnt experienced at all sexwise ,and no comunication between us ,…i will never repeat it again . Best guys to date your own age maybe 7-8 years younger no much more…i would'nt recommend . At least you have something to talk..

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Theolca May 3, 2013 at 10:23 pm

Hi, now I don’t consider myself that old yet but at 33 I am attracted to a young man of 24. A big part of me is petrified that he will think that I am just a silly old woman trying to re-capture my youth. I promise you this is not the case. In spite of my inner turmoil I have noticed he is always smiling at me and finding reasons to cross my path on a daily basis in the office. I wonder if he is just not too young right now. … hope it makes sense.

Thank you for a wonderful insightful video.

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Will July 10, 2013 at 12:20 am

I'm 25….I date girls around my age and younger, but not by choice…. I actually prefer older women in their 30's and 40's. They're really attractive, much more attractive than young women. However…. The times i tried talking to them, they gave me the "you're too young for me, you're such a baby" kind of talk…Implying they don't like young guys, so i just gave up on them.

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macde July 13, 2013 at 3:34 am

Read all of the responses above.  If someone would have asked me 3 years ago about older woman/younger man dating (much less marriage), I would have thought "bad idea" as I simply had old-timey notions in my head, notions that are part of our cultural indoctrination about what "age appropriate pairings" should be.  I was IGNORANT on the subject – period.  Well, it happened to me one day, out of the blue, a man 13 years younger (almost 14 by a few months) came into my life…..we came into each other's life.   I am a believer of "what God has brought together"….I do NOT believe that people come into our lives in such a full and profound way by accident, chance, or happinstance.  I believe that they are SUPPOSED to come at just the right moment.  All this "Enjoy it while you can or while it lasts" sounds a bit insecure to me.  Seems to me that EVERY relationship is about "Enjoying it While You Can"….why do older women with younger men CONSTANTLY have to hear that drill?  It's like, "Don't invest your heart into the relationship because you will get hurt eventually so love from a distance.  Why should anyone have to hold their heart back so that they don't risk it getting hurt or broken???  SO sick of older women having to hear this mantra.  Well, guess what?  Even age appropriate pairings/matches come to an end.  I speak from experience and a 30 year marriage.  When people grow apart in "age appropriate matches", AGE doesn't come into the picture, there are a myriad of other factors but yet when older women get together with younger men, AGE is ALWAYS brought into the picture as if that only (AGE) is the single most determining factor of whether or not the relationship will last.  Well, guess what?  The younger man is no dummy.  He can see clearly that the woman is OLDER than him and he is STILL okay with that and loves with all his heart.  He's not going to wake up one day and go, "Damn, you're older than me!!!!!   I personally think it's the women that need to give themselves a break from society's indoctrination about youth and beauty and see themselves for what they are:  BEAUTIFUL women at ANY age.  And to the person above that talked about younger women having "hard bodies" – that might be true for young women that work out.  I see quite a few very OUT OF SHAPE women even in their early 20's!!!  I am 50 and my body today is 100 times better than it was 20 years ago.  Several years ago,  I became a physical fitness instructor (teach different cardio fitness modalities as well as Pilates).  I have time now for ME.  Before I gave my time to my kids (had a large family)- am still raising children but they are no longer babies.  Women at this age have time to invest in a relationship…..something I wish my husband and I would have done our entire three decade marriage.  Live and learn.  I also have learned during the course of my lifetime on this earth that chronological age really means nothing as far as how long any of us will live.  Trying to predict the future, living life in a safety zone sounds BORING to me and it doesn't sound like much of a life.  It is better to love and be loved for a short time even (not saying that it will be a short time as it can be a LIFE time), then to live a "safe" life without passion and love for fear of a broken heart.  When you find passion and love REGARDLESS of age, then thank the heavens above and know that you have been blessed.  Accept the gift when presented and say, "thank you." 

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cali August 16, 2013 at 12:02 am

Wow!! I loved reading your message!! I said 'Thank you'  :)))

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Sheryl August 2, 2013 at 1:11 am

Loved hearing this.  Have been out a couple of times with a very established man in his 20's (I'm in my 40's).  I was worried about the age difference at first and wondered why would he choose to date me.  I am realizing some of the reasons and It makes me feel great.

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cali August 15, 2013 at 11:57 pm

Hi,
 
Thank you for the video. I'm 37 and the guy im dating is 31. I look, feel and act 23. He thought I was 21 at first. I didnt have an issue at first with his age. But after dating more and more we started to like each other a lot. It's starting to go in the direction of marriage. I started to think silly thoughts like when i'll be 40 he'll only be 34. when he's 40 i'll be 46. He is very mature and because I look so young we do make a perfect match physically, mentally and intellectually. We are very compatible. After watching your video I felt better. But Im still worried about over powering him with my experience and knowledge in life. I dont want to make him feel like he's younger than me. Any thoughts on this?

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Cherry Norris August 16, 2013 at 3:25 pm

Hi Cali,
My husband is 10 and a half years younger and it works great! We’ve been together 13 years!
Have fun!
Love, Cherry

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Anne Presuel September 21, 2013 at 5:43 pm

Love the answer.  I'm 10 years married to my love, who is 13 years younger than me.  I had to move through some of my own inner questions "Will he leave me when we get older?" "Why would he want to date me when he could date someone younger?" and "Doesn't he want  to be with someone who can give him kids?"  (My daughter was almost grown when we got together, and I was clear I wasn't wanting more babies.)
When I asked him this question, he gave me the same answer that was on the video.  Since that time, I've come to completely understand that what I bring to the table is so much more awareness, wisdom and confidence than I ever brought 20 years ago!  So I get that that answer is very true.
Fabulous video; thank you, Cherry!

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Cherry Norris September 22, 2013 at 6:03 pm

Wonderful, Anne!
Love, Cherry

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Denise Evans September 26, 2013 at 5:01 pm

Hi Cherry just watched your video, and now I understand why Younger Men want Older an older woman, My Husband is thirty seven years Younger than me, we are so Happy, he Loves all of me, even my wiggly bits, I have the problem with these, he is so proud to walk along the road holding my hand, he is proud of me full stop, I adore him, and him me, it is so nice to see that I am not the only one, with a Young man.

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L Fields October 15, 2013 at 4:01 pm

I'm dating someone who is 11 years younger than me and I'm very insecure about it.  I feel at some point I will have to let him go.  I love him, I don't want to kid myself into thinking he is going to stay with me when my age really starts to show.  It's good for right now but I'm not thinking long-term. I'm being real with myself.

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Chris October 22, 2013 at 1:34 pm

Hi there-
I am 37 and I am with a wonderful woman who 53.  I have dated many younger woman and it is always the same mind games and insecurity in themself.  My partner and I met yrs ago at a party but at that time I was 30 and with that hard body 25 yr old but her and I had nothing in common and so it ended.  After that I dated many woman my own age but I found the only thing we would have in common was the sex.  They were all still in party mode and I was no longer there.  Then about 5 yrs ago my father past away and so I moved home to help my mother with the bills.  Shortly after I lost my father my partner lost her mother and then her job.  She found work but took a big pay cut and in time lost her condo.  Well she need a place to stay and my mother I were having a hard time in a big house and were looking to rent a room out.  A mutual friend suggested we rent to her, so we did.  From there we became best friends and eventually started dating.  We have now been together for almost 3 yrs and we have our own place.  We are as happy as possible and have realized neither of us real knew what love was befor being together.  She maybe 16 yrs older than I but I really don't care.  This past summer we got engaged and we are planning to leave Chicago and move out to Colorado.  I guess I found with younger woman that it was all about sex but my couger and I have so much more.  She is what I always wanted in a relationship…… my best friend!!!  I never had that with other partners.   
A happy cub!!!!

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Cherry Norris October 24, 2013 at 2:03 pm

Way to go, Chris!
Very happy for you both.
Love, Cherry

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Cathy November 1, 2013 at 1:46 am

I  really enjoyed this video, I almost ad younger man ask me out,
O the biggest age gap I dated is 20 years, I am fun outing going and full of life, I am very confident with my body, and because of my personality I keep attracting younger man.
 

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Rachel November 1, 2013 at 6:47 pm

Hi Cherry,
I am 36 yrs old single woman (never married) and have a collegue at work who is 28 . We gel very well and there is a great chemistry but we are not dating. Its been 1.5 year…at various points he has shown that he truely cares for me but we have never spoken about it. he too is very dear to me….
Also, I want men to take the lead in a relationship…please advise what should i do next.
 

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pamela woodhouse November 19, 2013 at 8:28 pm

I'm 62 yrs old, but very young looking with no wrinkles at all, no cosmetic surgery and have always been a part of the fashion industry. I am dating a man of 51 and we have the most beautiful relationship. We are a little different in that he is a lot older than his  years in his thinking and our communication and conversation is so comfortable and full of chemistry. Does age really matter in my opinion as long as it isn't much more than 12years difference. Many people who are together who are the same age, just don't gell at all, could this be why there are so many divorces. I certainly don't endorse large age gaps15yrs plus for my self, but when you look around, look at the likes of C.Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas, he is 26 years older than her and the same age as her father. 13 years down the road they have 2 children and are still together. Why should it be accepted that it is o.k for the man to be years older. Personally in my own relationship the difference is 12 years but if we have 20 years of true love and happinnes, how can it be measured against being in a broken marriage of sadness for 20 years. No comparison. I will just live my life one day at at a time, and enjoy the man that I have met, for every day that I have him. We can't ask for more. I also believe if you find the age gap an issue, you should jump ship, I would. You have to be comfortable who you are with. Best Wishes.

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Lena November 22, 2013 at 9:56 pm

I am a 61 year old woman, married twice, divorced from my second husband now for 12 years.  Since then,  I have been with a lot of younger men, always based on physical attraction, but never any that I would like to marry. Six months ago I started a relationship with a 27 year old guy. He is the kindest most caring and helpful guy I have ever been with. We enjoy each others company and feel contented and at peace with each other. I am not that attracted to him physically – apart from his hard body – but I love his wise and peaceful spirit. He has known hunger, seen his sister killed in front of his eyes and has a maturity and sense of responsibility way beyond his years. He has been married but his younger wife left him for a wealthier man and now he is raising one of his sons (8 years old) on his own. His life and experiences have aged him so he looks in his 30's and I look in my mid 50's.  We are from different cultures but both of us enjoy the same kind of music, long walks, beach holidays and working to address social inequalties. We have talked about marriage.  I have thought about the difficulties that would face us in the future when I am over 70 and he is still in his early 40's. He assures me it won't matter, but I feel insecure about being "old" once I get past 70. And I don't want to tell my family or friends about him or about his age as I know they won't find it acceptable, although I have mentioned it to my 2 grown up sons as they are open minded, but my grandsons and my sisters, no.  Also, currently I am earning a reasonable wage and I sometimes help him out financially. We can afford to have holidays together and travel. But  I will be retiring in 4 years and we will both have to survive on his very low income and my small pension. I worry that we will struggle financially as I had not planned on having to help support another adult and child with my pension. He assures me that he is not with me for financial reasons but because he truly loves me and that we will be able to survive together and take care of each other. He said he wants a stable, mature woman who he can trust and who he enjoys being with and I'm that woman!  The only other worry I have is that I am religious and he is not. I have never had a such a loving, caring partner before and do not want to throw away this opportunity. I am questioning whether to put my heart & soul into this relationship and accept his marriage proposal,  or whether to break away from him now and not endure the possible greater pain of marriage break up when I am at an older more  vulnerable age, if he ever decided to leave. ? Any comments or advice please.

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Cherry Norris November 23, 2013 at 7:17 pm

Hi Lena,
Beautiful story. As my mentor asked me before I got married, “If it doesn’t work out, do you have faith you can survive it?” If the answer is YES, then go for it! And stay as long as you can stay …
Love,
Cherry

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Jade November 29, 2013 at 8:01 pm

Cherry, I need help. 
for 1.5 years i've been expreemly attracted to a guy at my gym. over this time we've only had very brief conversation and lots of hello's. in this time i've observed how he relates and enteracts with others in this setting as i'm trying to gage is character. So far Im pretty inpressed.  Every time our paths cross in the gym i freeze, heck i can hardly breath.  Cherry; he's about 15 years my jr. ; he's buffed and i'm jiggly. I think i'm on his radar so my question is …how can I approach or engage him without almost fainting. can u help me?  Jade

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Luke December 7, 2013 at 8:07 pm

Hi Cherry,
It would be great to have your advice on this, it's a slightly different one.
I'm 25 and I'm extremely attracted to a woman who is probably around 45.  We both work for a big company, with hundreds of people in the office.  The two of us work exclusively in a team of 25.  She is looking for someone e.g. has tried online dating but decided it wasn't for her.  We flirt a lot and give each other a lot of one another's attention.  She brightens my day in all honesty Cherry.  I had made my mind up not to act on my feelings, because if it went pear-shaped it would be awkward… however, I've just got a promotion to an entirely different team, she is very happy for me, but disappointed at the same time… now I intend to act.  I start my new job on Monday.  The whole work thing is not an issue for me, so I'm not asking for your advice on that.  I guess my question would be how do I go about asking her out?
What's interesting is that in this thread 'energetic' is quite a buzz word referring to a younger man.  But I have to admit, I have never encountered a woman of any age with the vibrance/youth she has.  It is so true about how it's not about her body, but the way she carries it… she is more alive than me :)
What's even more interesting is that when I was introduced to her, I (personally) wasn't at all attracted to her, my mind automatically labelled her as 'not my cup of tea'.  But over time she has become so sexy, it's amazing how the mind works… her fantastic personality is so appealing that I now find her a very physically attractive woman, whereas I didn't in the first place.  Personality definitely presides over looks… and I think for me to acknowledge that at my age does say something about my maturity.
If anyone else has thoughts, then please reply :)
Help me get the gears in motion  

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hermina January 2, 2014 at 4:03 pm

After seeing this video and reading the comments…WOW…I don't feel so …well silly…being attracted to a man …about 8 years younger than me. (i'm 66),  After being in a long relationship with many problems, I didn't think that I would ever ever feel that attraction again! and that was fine…well, until now, and for now, I don't really know what to do, … Keep telling myself I'm stupid to think he would feel the same, however, I don't even know after this long, what signs to look for anymore!… they've likely been there, but I just am too wrapped up in the business I'm still doing (it was through a business deal, this happened)…
Good luck to everyone with this situation……

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stewart January 6, 2014 at 12:55 pm

I'm 49 years old and I am definitely attracted to older women. I am married, I have  a good youthful physique and concur with your comments that men are not put off by an aging body. My marital status means that I cannot act on my attractions, but I do have a 71 year old woman I meet for drinks etc. It is romantic and I find her very attractive. A firm bodied younger woman would be very unappealing and unattractive in my case, be it just socially.

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linda February 15, 2014 at 3:25 am

Stewart,
Thanks for the insight.  It is reassuring to hear from men.  I have heard similar, and am starting to believe.  As far as your attractions, I hope you'll work on staying attracted to your wife, howver, and giving the relationship all it deserves.
Cheers!

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Cynthia January 10, 2014 at 1:46 pm

I’m dating a man 16 years my junior and am still uneasy about it. It’s been about three months now, i am becoming more comfortable but me being 56 and him 40 i can not get used to it yet. We haven’t discussed being exclusive and i am not going to be the one to bring it up. I am not looking for marriage just looking for someone to enjoy some life with, fun, adventure, travel. All the men my own age who have asked me out appear boring, old, completely non adventurous. How can i become more relaxed and less self conscience? I am still attractive and get a lot if looks but with this younger man my confidence has been a little low. Thank you, Cynthia

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mery January 12, 2014 at 4:55 am

Hi Cherry, 
Thank you for your advice alongside your sweet smile that I liked it too much.
I am dating a man 14 years younger than me. In people's view I look younger than my age rated from 10-15 years younger. However, i am always fussy with my age. I always try not to mention out the exact number of my age to people, as i go to university and have many younger friends sometimes, I am embrassed, I am 40 when they are 30.
we found eachother in a dating site, and to be honest, I did something wrong. I didnt want to atract old men by reading my exact age, so i put my age 34-please forgive me I know how bad i did. Also, I didnt think something serious would happen in that site, but something serious happend. I was attracted by a man 26 years old and we had date and although i did not take it serious at first, he persuaded me constantly. Now, it's been more than 1 mounth. we matched eacother very softly and found our souls and body amazingly suited for eachother and he is in love with me very deeply. Meantime, we have never spoken about age up to now. so, always I think he suposes me that I am 34. and I am afraid how and when to say him I am 40. I am afraid of afterwards thoughts might come to his mind. what should I do now? 

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Cherry Norris January 12, 2014 at 6:20 pm

Hi Mary,
Thanks for your note! If your man’s into you, he won’t care about your age when he finds out.
Got it? Good!
Love,
Cherry

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Mary January 12, 2014 at 3:48 pm

I am 51 and my boyfriend is 32!! we have an up and down relationship and it is still going! but I am telling you it is not easy,,

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Ben January 20, 2014 at 11:31 am

hi I come across this video whilst asking the question is it ok for me at 28 to date a women of 36 I thought this was a big age diffrence .we dated when I first turned 27 (July 2012 ) we split I then date a young lady of 23 and she was so immature sex was great but that's all she wanted from me I want more. so I met up for a coffe date with my ex the 36 yr old and it hit me how beautifull she is she looks no older than 30 and is young at hart and we have the best connection ever we understand eachother and love eachothers humor . she also has 4 great kids @ 17,15 ,14,8  . I enjoy them being around as It makes me feel wanted and they love me being around . I found this video very useful in anwsering my question . I now think that it's  not a big issue and I can just be happy knowing im in the arms of a women who truly  cares .and as for the sex we cant get enough but thers so much more to our relationship . thank-you .

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Monica M February 10, 2014 at 4:05 pm

my  man is 17 years younger He is white I am West Indian. It's been 2 years now we've been  together and I recently asked him where do we go from here and he said wherever I wanted to go. His parents and daughter from a previous marriage adore me and want us to get married  I am not so sure recently the sex has not been so great (my libido is lacking) and I have had to fake a few orgasms  HELP

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Joanna March 6, 2014 at 11:48 am

Thank you very much for the in sight into this, I am a 42 yr old female who is married to a 19 yr old man with such a age difference we do get alot if stares and odd looks from people, all of which have to be closed minded people bacause love has no age, we are both very happy and very much in love yes chances are I will die first but as my husband so loving put it “I would rather spend the next 20 yrs with you rather than a lifetime without you. What a loving mature awesome husband he is. Mature past his age.

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Cherry Norris March 6, 2014 at 4:55 pm

Beautiful Joanna,
Thanks for sharing!
Love,
Cherry

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Shir March 6, 2014 at 8:00 pm

I have just taken an interest to read this site. If i may say why. I was married for 32 years,known him from being 17 with lovely grown up kids and grankids who adores him.Until one morning he got up and said i dont want to be here and left with just the clothes on his back. It has taken me 6 years to come to terms with it. I will know get to my main reason why i would like to leave a comment as to why i am interested in your site. I have joined a dating site. I was very surprised when i got a message from a 30y old as i am 60. My are looks 10 years younger. and i thought he had got the wrong profile. Until he kept on trying to connect with me. I was curious and intrigued so i sent him a message, He explained in detail he likes older women and i was intrigued to his intellient and mature messages, on the same wave length. as i have never experienced from one so young before and how he made me feel so i was hooked to no more about him. we sent a few messages, then he asked would i tex him through his phone number. not sure of what to expect. I spoke to him on the phone and had a very long and intriguing conversation. The next day he said i will phone, you, he never did. so what was all that about. I thought , was he not sure of me, or was it just his foreplay to catch and let go. i could not understand as i have never had that experience before so nice. Please may i ask cherry, what intervention stopped him, as at the time, we got on well, laugh. I no it was sort lived. as i believed after sad the fantasy did not turn into reality, was he frightened off or just insecure.. I feel know that i have had that short experience and i myself prefer youngish men that older. Maybe the age difference with both of us. I have read your articles, because of this. Thank you all. Please reply cherry as i am intrigued to no the answer. so i can learn from this. 

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Alicia April 10, 2014 at 6:34 am

What's most likely is that you were not the only one he was contacting and he chose someone else or perhaps he reconciled with an ex.  These are usually the most common reasons.

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TraceyS April 2, 2014 at 10:05 pm

Cherry,
Thank you so much! I've been researching this question for several months as I keep getting asked out by younger guys. No one in my "so called age range" ever seems interested. I just turned 39 and am being pursued relentlessly by a 25 year old man. He continuosly tries to convince me to give this a chance. After watching the video. I think I get it now, and I might finally let him take me out on that date.

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